Thanks to Jack FM, Doug and I took our teenagers, one of their friends and my father to the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus. I think they should change their name to just the Bindlestiff Cirkus or Bindlestiff Karn Evil. Yes, I knew that the show was pg-13 and contained vaudeville and burlesque elements. I imagined scantily clad women. I have now been informed that what I was imagining was the latter years of burlesque and the anatomy, sex, alcohol and drug jokes were very close to actual vaudeville shows. I know this because my father talked about visiting Vaudeville and Burlesque shows in Chicago when he was a teenager. Funny image. I don’t know if I recommend it for teenagers, but I really enjoyed the show. Liberal humor was a pretty bold move in this part of the country. The show was silly and creative and I even forgive the Martin Short-ish clown who switched my seat with another woman’s so that I spent the first half of the show with a stranger instead of my family. The main level of the Bijou was completely packed and he chose me as one of the half dozen women who needed to be rearranged for the entire theater’s entertainment. Hello, Mr.Clown. My name is Cathy and I go out of my way to avoid attention. In fact, if I could have any super power, I would choose invisibility so that I wouldn’t experience the horrible dread and panic that is social anxiety. My husband loooves attention, but it would be so much funnier to pick the ashen faced woman slinking down into her seat. So, please, pick me to be a part of the pre-show entertainment. The only good thing about sitting with a stranger was not having to see my father’s face when one of the entertainers gave an extremely descriptive talk about condom usage. Lucky for us all, she then proceeded to use the condom in a manner which I would never, ever have imagined it being used. Unlucky for us all, this was one of Tommy’s favorite parts of the show and I fully expect a visit to the otolaryngologist in the near future. I dug the jugglers, of course. The double diablo was cooool. Doug needs some clubs that look like wine bottles. I think Noah, the karate boy, would have loved seeing the Poi juggling. That would make an awesome black belt performance. The wierdest moment of the evening was watching the woman eating the fire and drifting off into my own Internet inspired twilight zone. “She looks familiar. I can see her face, but . . . oh! She was a bridesmaid at her sister’s wedding and her sister was worried that everyone would be looking at her super hot sister with the tattoos instead of the bride. I read her sister’s blog! I have got to tell Doug . . . oh . . . Doug’s with someone else’s wife and I’m with someone else’s husband. Sigh.” What is most irritating, is that I read a zillion blogs in a feed reader and I have spent the entire day searching for the picture of the tattoed, condom snorting, fire eating babe in a demure bridesmaid’s dress and failed. Oh, well. It was so much fun explaining a dental dam to my teenagers. I think I have successfully mortified Sarah enough to last a looong time.
Hey Jack FM – You know what would REALLY be the icing on the most embarrassing mom ever cake? You should let me be one of your bloggers. Let me attend all your events and post thoughts about them afterwards. You just know that I’ll say what I want.