Domestic Psychology

help me understand

// March 31st, 2009 // 3 Comments » // child welfare, health, mental health, politics, school, TN

I am not an accountant. Reading the TN budget for 2009-2010 is about as pleasant as watching for the return of a swallowed Playmobile toy. I understand clearly that we are cutting or eliminating:
family resource centers, school safety grants, school health positions and funding, the child health and development (CHAD) program, the healthy start program, programs focusing on delinquency and truancy prevention, the relative caregiver program, alcohol and drug counseling for students, respite services, mental health and suicide risk screening program for youth and the peer power program.

The state of TN is going to: Eliminate homeless, consumer family support, employment, recovery and housing evidence-based services for persons diagnosed with serious and persistent mental illness (SPMI). Reduce mental health crisis diversion and continuum of care services. Reduce mental health services to children and other special populations.

What I don’t understand is that it looks like many of the affected services and programs will get funding from the one time only, federal stimulus money. That must be a misunderstanding on my part. How is spending the money on what we have now going to stimulate the economy in our state? If all the programs vanish at the end of the surplus money, aren’t we guaranteeing failure of the stimulus plan? Surely the state of TN isn’t going to set up children and families to suffer just to prove a political point.

asteism

// March 30th, 2009 // No Comments » // Doug, kid quotes, me

Evan: “You hair funny Mommy.”
Amy: “Wow Mommy, you should brush your hair more often. It looks way better than usual.”
Noah: “I like it when you do your hair Mom.”
Doug: “You should straighten your hair more often.”

Thank goodness Sarah and Tommy aren’t home to compliment me.

How I spent my Saturday (again)

// March 29th, 2009 // No Comments » // flickr

Saturday morning view

// March 29th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // flickr, TN, travel

ice cream does not equal murder

// March 27th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // life, parenting, people, politics, TN

Several times a year and in multiple environments, I have to pull out the tired, old dinosaur statistic that murder rates go up when ice cream sales go up. Eventually, everyone will recognize that statistics are not enough. The “most single parents live in poverty” statistic ignores the fact that people with severe mental or physical health issues are far more likely to be single. Families come in all shapes and sizes. There is no “ideal” family.

If TN politicians really want to “help” children, they should not allow custody war parents to have personal lawyers. They should instead have a lawyer for each and every child and create an individualized custodial plan (ICP instead of IEP) that serves the best interest of the child. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to two or more people fighting over a human being.

FWIW – I do not recommend spending the morning researching pending legislation, especially if you are looking it up by sponsor. Waaaay too much pandering to extremists instead of helping all people. Why doesn’t HB0822 include discrimination against gender or sexual orientation? Oh, wait . . . a quick scan of the other bills answers that question. How exactly is he representing ME?

maybe I’ll use tweezers

// March 26th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // life, me

Has anyone ever done a cost comparison of razor blades and electrolysis? How much would I save if I moved to Germany?

where’s the hitchhiker’s guide when you need it?

// March 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // aspergers, school, teenagers

We always knew that the group bathroom in the college dorm would be a problem for Tommy. It has been a constant source of annoyance for Tommy and the resulting poor hygiene has been the topic of far too many weekend conversations. Still, I was caught off guard yesterday, with just a few weeks remaining until finals, Tommy sent me a rapid-fire series of text messages complaining about the bathrooms.

“Ever since Spring Break, the bathroom is ALWAYS crowded.”
“I can’t even shower late at night now.”
“Too many people.”
“They talk in the bathroom.”
“You’re not supposed to look at other people in the bathroom.”
“I can’t do anything with all those people talking.”
“They’re mostly *foreign students talking.”
“I guess it’s different where they’re from.”
“We don’t do that.”

Tommy was worked up and having a tizzy over something that I can’t control. I tried to convince him to visit Student Services and just talk to them until he could calm himself. He wouldn’t do it. Despite dozens of e-mails, phone calls and meetings, Tommy still won’t use Student Services. He won’t talk to professors. He will not ask for help of any kind. After 18 years of being the center of attention, Tommy has connected succeeding with blending in to the woodwork. Apparently, life hasn’t been difficult enough for Tommy. Now he wants to make it more difficult.

*I don’t know what he meant by this. He might think students from Texas are foreigners. The middle of Asperger drama was not the time to discuss it.

stupid is as stupid does

// March 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // food, me, people

Tuesdays are spent in meetings and the car. I started today with a Python-esque PTA meeting and ended it facilitating a Support Group. In between, I visited two different high schools, one middle school, the pharmacy and the pizza dude. Just like every Tuesday for the past several YEARS, I walked in the tiny pizza place and they blankly asked my name. I said it twice. Slowly. The girl behind the counter plopped two boxes in front of me and handed me a small piece of paper to sign for the pizza that I had already paid for on the Internet. The paper was blank. “Umm, yeah, the thing is out of paper and it takes forever to change, so, if you just sign that you can get out of here.” I asked her to please write the total on the paper before I signed it. “Your total is gonna be whatever it was on your computer. I’m just trying to help you out here.” I told her I wouldn’t sign a blank paper. She took the two pizza boxes off the counter and put them waaaay behind the counter. Then she dramatically began the process of sticking a small roll of receipt tape in the printer. She walked back and forth behind the counter, sighing loudly and eventually handed me an itemized receipt. “This is what was on your computer.” The, she wandered about some more before producing the credit card charge slip with the ‘sign here’ line on it. I signed it. The girl retrieved the pizzas that I had already paid for online and silently plopped them on the counter. I left the pizza place feeling like I had just been in a scene from Idiocracy and thinking about a completely automated, human-less pizza pickup system. I briefly considered that the counter employee might have actually been trying to be helpful, but dismissed it since she won’t remember me next week anyway. I think I’ll just pretend she has anterograde amnesia.

I am not the Energizer bunny

// March 23rd, 2009 // No Comments » // me, parenting, play, preschoolers

Dear Evan,

I know you are excited about Easter, but Mommy is much too out of shape to hop around the house like a bunny several times every day. You have four older siblings who can play “bunny” without becoming instantly breathless. I do not want to explain to paramedics that I broke myself tripping over my own two hopping feet. Can we please read books about bunnies together instead?

Love,
Mommy

how I spend every Sunday

// March 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // flickr, TN, travel