Last year, I was constantly digging rocks out of the smallest child’s pockets, the washing machine and the dryer. Then, summer arrived and although said child spent large parts of each day outside, there were no rocks in my laundry. School began two weeks ago and the rocks have returned. I am perplexed by the […]
Love is… Cleaning the pukey sheets while your wife cleans the small child. Using baby talk when giving the dogs their medication. “Who wants a widdle gwu-co-sa-mine? Yes you do-o-o.” Walking in the door, seeing the look on your wife’s face and silently leaving the house only to return fifteen minutes later with chocolate raspberry […]
1. Never ride a Greyhound bus or walk barefoot in downtown Nashville. 2. In an earthquake, Twitter is more fun and informative than Facebook. 3.Even the most physically and mentally active people are vulnerable, but they remain superheroes. 9:30 pm Aspie Caveman quote: “Was there an earthquake today?”
Amy: “My teacher says that soap gets the germs off your hands, but antibacterial stuff kills them and leaves them there.” Sarah: “So, if you don’t use soap, you have zombie germs on your hands.”
Please stop anthropomorphizing food. It does not make food more appealing. You have single-handedly taken all the fun out of many foods that were delicious BEFORE your genius advertising campaign. If you want people to eat your food: 1. Don’t give food a face. 2. Don’t give food a voice. 3. Don’t give food a […]
Friday night, we left the sleepy small children in the care of girl teen and went to see Fright Night. Anyone who saw the original Fright Night knows that it was not a sleep with the lights on afterwards or a nausea inducing festival of escalating grossness that defines most horror flicks. The original Fright […]
“Dad has a real problem with being sold as an infant and now he has to keep paying the state to get information. He says they should pay him and all the other people involved in the scam.” I am less than amused that some Tennesseans can find loopholes to get around paying the state’s […]
“If I go to your bed now, I won’t have to walk downstairs in the middle of the night to crawl between you and daddy.”
Noah: “I talked to the Mayor on Friday and today I met the Superintendent.” Me: “How did you meet the Super?” Noah: “Well, I didn’t know you pull the cord to make the trolley stop, so, I missed my bus stop and got to school late. When I went in the office, the Principal was […]