In my idealistic imagination, I drape certain occupations in robes of dedication, purpose and diligence. The realist in me recognizes the value of consciously attending to documentation, rules and authority. In my head, idealism and realism are a necessary partnership. I see the election commission as the group who invisibly make a complicated task look […]
On one hand, there is the pro-purple Gogol Bordello. On the other hand, there is …
What she said: “What are you doing over there?” What he said: “You don’t want to know.” What he meant: Catching a creepy bug before you see it and freak.
We live in an old house with what is politely known as personality. The long list of things that need simple repairs is low priority when something else is dripping, sparking or overflowing. Except for the occasional lightning strike destroying the a/c or a hail storm destroying the roof and siding, repairs are limited to […]
I’m not going to tell the story of where I was or what I was doing eleven years ago. I’ve told the story enough. It doesn’t matter to anyone but me what I was doing. Stop asking. If you need stories, re-read the stories from the people who lost loved ones, from the people who […]
Sawyer: “Are you wearing a bra today?” Me: “Why?” Sawyer: “If you don’t wear a bra, your boobies get tangled up in your shirt and that hurts. A bra makes your boobies look smooth instead of bumpy.” Me: “My breasts are bumpy?” Sawyer: “It’s okay Mommy. I’ll snuggle with you anyway.”
Goofus wakes up at 11:30 a.m., sees his spouse cleaning the clutter in a child’s room and complains because nothing should ever be thrown in the trash. Gallant sleeps late on his only day off, gets up to find his spouse cleaning and silently vanishes until he has a salted caramel mocha for his spouse […]
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER TRY TO TEACH EVAN MATH IT WILL NEVER WORK HE DOES NOT LISTEN HE IS ALSO VERY RUDE&MEAN!!!!!!’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:( 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 This weekend, I will be having a serious discussion with Supertween… about the caps lock key and only using one exclamation point.
Last night, I turned on convention coverage to hear and watch one speaker. On the short list of people who always have something worthwhile to say, former President Bill Clinton explaining things is near the top. His speech last night would be pitch perfect if not for one thing. President Clinton is not allowed to […]