Sarah’s color guard costume last year had some problems. First, the teacher didn’t want any clear bra straps or underwear lines, so the girls went extreme commando. Then, the teacher complained about noticing when the girls were cold. The improvised solution was a band of duct tape acting as a strapless bra. Parents were less […]
Sometimes I wonder how our campaign seasons look to the rest of the world. “Well, you have cooties.” “Do not. You eat boogers.” Then, sociopathic leaders make wrestling match quality trash talk headlines. So, I imagine a different media campaign. “I can bench press 200 pounds and I only sleep 4 hours a night.” “Well, […]
Sometimes, when it is so cold my toes are numb or so hot my deodorant has failed me or so rainy that my fingers are wrinkled up raisins, I just want to put all of the bus stop strangers in my car and drive them to their destinations. Everyone would have a better day. When […]
“Do you have friends at school?” “Not really.” “Are people mean to you?” “No. I’m kind of invisible at school.” Cue meeting with teachers. What the teachers and I agree on is that Noah is incredibly bright. Nearly perfect tcap scores bright. There is no gifted program in middle school, but it wouldn’t matter because […]
I have wanted to attend BlogHer since the very first gathering in 2005. Every year it rolled around and I came up with dozens of reasons not to go. Because I want to just isn’t a good reason to do something. Except, I still want to go. If I keep waiting for it to be […]
I still don’t have a picture of Sarah doing the half-time show that I really like. I tried again last night. On my way into the stadium, a vice-principal waved and asked me about Tommy. A few minutes later, a parent asked me how Tommy is doing. Almost immediately another parent asked, followed quickly by […]
Those words aren’t very adrenaline inducing when the person speaking them is just holding out their small hand, which is unscathed except for a bandaid. I peeled the bandaid back and saw a scrape that was still filled with little bits of road. The mention of washing off the injury caused tears and I looked […]
Me: “Wait a minute. I need to change the music.” Doug: “It will wait.” Me: “No. David Lee Roth is playing and I just can’t allow him in this room right now.” Doug: “What?!?” Me: “David Lee Roth. Yuck. I need different music.” Doug: “Are you thinking about the musician or me?” Me: “You and […]
I picked the trio of female high schoolers up from the high school. They immediately asked if they could go to the mall. As I dropped them off, they announced that they didn’t want to carry their backpacks. I assumed that meant I would be driving around town delivering backpacks later tonight. I got home […]