Tomorrow is Amy’s 6th birthday. We celebrated her birthday two weeks ago when all of the cousins were visiting. We made a big deal about it and she was fine with it. Well, she was until I was tucking her in bed last night.

Amy: “My birthday is Tuesday.”
Me: “Yes it is, but you already had your party and opened your presents.”
Amy: “I know I did. You’ll still give me more presents on Tuesday.”
Me: “No. We agreed that you could wait or go ahead and you chose to go ahead and open the gifts.”
Amy: “I know you’re gonna have just two more itty-bitty presents for me.”
Me: closing her door and leaving “No. Good-night Amy.”
Amy: whispering “Just two more.”

This is Earth Day weekend. Doug is going to celebrate by using a tank or two of gasoline, stomping all over nature and sleeping on the hard soil. I am going to celebrate by not using fossil fuels and um, let’s see . . . oh, I know. I will put the house plants on the porch. Party on Earth.

When children are young, April Fool’s Day is silly and fun. By the time they enter middle school, April Fool’s Day is a source of anxiety for parents. It’s not worry about what they will do at home. Febreeze sprayed on the spaghetti. An entire container of laundry detergent spilled on the floor. Nastiness tracked in on the bottoms of their shoes. A bed with freshly washed sheets soaked by a bowl of dog water. Those things have already happened this week. The things children do on “accident” are far worse than the deliberate pranks. The problem is that the onset of adolescence means the temporary suspension of the ability to think before doing. Those impulsive pranks guarantee a phone call from the vice principal. “This is Mr. B at the school.” Words that make my stomach flip and my affect become flat as I prepare myself to hear what stupid thing my child has decided to do in the name of April first. For everyone’s safety, April 1st should be an in-service for teachers and a day of not leaving the house for teenagers. Since the schools don’t agree with me, I think I’ll forward my calls to Doug and wear headphones all day tomorrow.

Tommy - Drop each egg in a bowl of color. By the time you have all your eggs soaking in color, begin removing the eggs from the color. The entire process should take less than one minute. The eggs will each be a different hue of white.

Sarah - Draw elaborate details and cartoons on each egg. Soak in color until everyone else has finished their eggs and left the table. Results are colorful and cute.

Noah - Do a quick scribble when you can beg the clear crayon away from older sister. Try hand dipping to make multicolored eggs. Get bored. Drop in color for a few minutes, then remove. Results are unique color blends and cubist inspired designs.

Amy - Screech for crayon occasionally. Color every egg you have been given blue. Scream and cry if anyone else touches your blue eggs.

Evan - Throw (do not drop) eggs in color. Giggle at crunch sound as the shell smacks the cup. Scoop out and throw in another color. Repeat until eggs are various shades of mud. Then, steal Tommy’s white eggs and give them the toss, crack, toss routine.

Amy: “Mmm, these eggs taste like butter.”
Sarah: “There’s no butter in eggs.”
Amy: “Yes there is.”
Mom: “Where do you think eggs come from Amy?”
Amy: “Chefs make them.”
- insert simplified explanation about eggs -
Amy: “Ewww, eggs are gross!”

133 candy eggs + 42 boiled eggs + 5 baskets =

Happy Easter!

The amount of work required to put together Easter for five children ranging from toddler to teen is very time consuming (and mentally challenging). I can’t fall back on photographs for blog filler, so maybe some music to pass the time?

Today is National Nothing Day. It suits my mood. I need to get out and do “something” so I can quit writing about nothing. Isn’t this a four-day weekend? A wise husband would take that into consideration.