Like the Partridge Family, only without the singing. Or the bus.
// March 11th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // flickr, school
What do you do if you are the smallest second grader in the school? You lean left and right to be seen. You stand on tiptoes. You grin, make silly faces and wave at the audience. You mouthe the words when someone else is speaking. You make big, exaggerated movements with your arms and face. Most of all, you never miss a chance to sing directly into the microphone. Amy may not stand tall, but she carries a big attitude.
// March 3rd, 2010 // No Comments » // knoxville, school
Step one: Find the perfect venue for an end of eighth grade party/dance.
Step two: Sundown in the City schedule ruins perfectness of venue.
Step three: Find different, but equally awesome venue.
Step four: Principal changes date of event and neither venue is available.
Step five: Pound head on wall for several hours.
Step six: Begin step one.
If the PTA ever updates their site, they should add a community guide to assist with planning for local school events.
*We have a venue that works with the new date. I’m holding my breath that it’s in our budget.
// February 23rd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // local, school
It has taken me forever to feel it is appropriate to comment on the shooting at Inskip. I just couldn’t comment until the victims were stable and the school was moving forward in their healing process. The screaming about the size of the staff in the AJ building, metal detectors in every doorway or not hiring anyone with a history of mental illness was tempting to address, but in the beginning, all focus needed to be on the victims. The no explanation version of my opinion is that while everyone did what they were legally required to do, it is now time to do better. How can we do better?
Let’s start with our responsibility to report anyone we think is a serious danger to others. Alerting authorities with concerns is all that we have to do. If we do it anonymously, huge amounts of time are wasted trying to verify the validity of the complaints. Disgruntled students and parents have been known to make groundless complaints about teachers. While all concerns have to be taken seriously, they also have to be properly investigated so that teachers are not wrongfully accused. When a person in our neighborhood robbed a bank, we called the FBI. The criminal was armed and dangerous and knew exactly who we were, but the risk of that person committing another crime was great enough to warrant our publicly identifying him. We need to be helpful and not a hindrance to an investigation.
Let’s talk about teacher education programs. I write these words as someone who graduated college before the full year of internship that would have completed my education degree. I was extremely pregnant and knew I needed to spend that year focused on my new baby. I personally knew a dozen people who graduated with teaching degrees. Less than three years later, TWO of those people were still teaching. I believe that those college professors knew some of those students were not going to be teachers. Education programs that knowingly allow students to spend years studying in education when they would be better served in an MBA program are doing students a disservice. Education programs that can’t say a reasonable percentage of their graduates continue to get their Master’s degree within a certain number of years instead of losing their graduates to other careers are doing future employers a disservice. Education programs that fail to encourage medical help for students who clearly have mental health problems are doing children a disservice. Teacher education programs need to watch for signs of predatory teachers who will date their students (yes, that IS a euphemism), bully children and threaten peers. Mandatory counseling sessions may just need to be a requirement in teacher education programs.
Any laws that restrict checking of references or prevent references from being completely honest with concerns need to be reconsidered. There must be a better way to protect the innocently accused while also protecting our most vulnerable populations.
School systems need to think about their part in tragedies like this. Are we taking good care of the teachers who are responsible for classrooms full of children all day? Do we ask them to do the impossible and provide inadequate support services? Is it really a good idea to inform someone they won’t have a job next year while they are still on the job? Are school administrators given the power to terminate contracts mid-year when they know things are going poorly? Do we encourage teachers to take care of their physical and mental health or make it difficult for them to do so?
Ultimately, responsibility falls completely upon the person who made the horrible decision to hurt others. Blaming anyone else will not change that which has already happened. If we fail to learn and grow from this, then it becomes our failure.
// February 7th, 2010 // No Comments » // parenting, school
At the end and beginning of every school year, a list of volunteer opportunities comes home with every child. Sometimes, the job duties are obvious and you instantly know if it’s something you feel qualified to do. Treasurer? I think we’ll let a CPA do that job. Parliamentarian? I’m pretty confidant that there are some parents with legal training who would do that much better than I could. Other times, the job isn’t completely clear. Cafeteria? Umm, cut off crusts and open milk cartons? Grounds? Lawn mowing and floor mopping? I have worn many different hats at schools, but I think my favorite at the elementary school is this year’s job, Lost & Found.
I confess that I thought the job would be getting lost items reunited with their owners. Only ONCE have I truly helped someone find a missing belonging. There are also the less than a dozen items labeled with names that I send to the office for redistribution to students. The job is really to empty the Lost & Found nook at the end of every month. I fill two to four lawn sized trash bags with coats, jackets, mittens, hats, lunchboxes and various odd items. I wash them all and donate them somewhere. That’s it. Lost & Found is really Laundry & Charity. This is the best volunteer job ever.
So far this year, I have donated to Goodwill, Saving Little Hearts, Christenberry Elementary and two others that I can’t seem to remember. This month I ran out of big shopping bags that I had saved from Christmas shopping and I didn’t know how I was going to send the mountain of coats, hats and mittens to Christenberry. Chris at Kohl’s on Morrell kindly donated enough brand new bags to last through the end of the year. The awesomeness of this job never ends. The ONLY thing that even slightly tasks my brain? Choosing who will get the next month’s “new-to-you” jackets. I know the fundraiser committees need people to get dropped in dunk tanks and the carpool committees need people standing in the rain at way-too-early o’clock, but trust me when I tell you that you want to work on the Lost & Found at your school. Just don’t tell anyone I said that.
Now about that end of Eighth Grade Party . . .
// January 29th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // school, weather
I know that it is 2:10 in the afternoon and the roads and skies are clear. School could have released one hour early instead of being closed the entire day. However, the looks on faces when school was canceled last night, were absolutely priceless. Sparkling eyes and contagious giggles electrified the air. There was even a little happy dance. I think the joy outweighs the risk of running out of allotted snow days. The giggling, dancing teachers clearly needed an unscheduled play day.
// January 14th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // people, school, teenagers
Just as the PTA meeting looked like it was over, you raised your hand to ask a question. “Does this PTA do anything except raise money? I want to know what can be done about the bad kids in this school.” As the words left your mouth, I wish I’d had the courage to move from my seat to one where I could see the Principal’s face. The principal was completely still until you addressed her directly. “Are you a teacher here?” Clearly, you never attempted to talk directly to the Principal before complaining to all of the PTA moms and dads about the “bad kids” and the school. After saying “bad kids” more than a dozen times, another parent asked what suggestions you have for the school. You want all the “bad kids” aka students who distract your child, placed in a single classroom with a police officer standing watch over them.
This school is staffed by teachers whose wide-ranging talents allow them to reach the most students humanly possible. A staff that long ago tossed out the concept that there is a single formula to teach in favor of embracing individualized plans for students. Teachers who continue to grow and learn with and for their students. The passion and dedication of the teachers in this school keeps the teachers here in spite of the fact that they must take on so many additional roles at this school. They know their work is vitally important. They are saving lives.
This is a public school. Students are required by law to be here. Without those laws, many would never walk through the school doors. There are students here who are loved and supported at home. There are students who are neglected and abused at home. In between those two extremes are every possible combination of students’ lives. There are some who may or may not get fed regularly. There are students who may or may not get enough sleep or even know where they will be every evening. Some students have multiple caring adults in their lives while others have none. Some students are encouraged to do their best in school while others are taught that school is a waste of time.
With all the outside influences on students’ lives, their potential can seem limitless or bleak. The teachers in this school recognize the obstacles and try anyway. They can’t and won’t take every child who makes odd noises, drums on desks with pencils, can’t sit still or need constant reminders and lock them away in a school jail. The students with the most obstacles in their lives, the students who are at risk of jail, poverty and homelessness, are the students who need the most attention.
Your unconditional love and your child’s desire to learn are stronger than any of these “distractions” that you want to go away. That private school that you repeatedly praised as your next option may be exactly what your family needs. You have selected the private school that most locals would agree is the ideal environment for the type of student you describe your own child to be. In the extremely unlikely event that you decide to stay at this school, your child has the unique opportunity to be the role model and leader who could make the difference in another student’s life. Don’t underestimate your child’s ability to grow and thrive in a school that serves a diverse population of students.
Your plan to visit all the “bad kids” at home to tell the parents their kids are bad is your own folly. Please don’t take your child with you on those ill-fated journeys.
// January 8th, 2010 // 6 Comments » // books, school
There are so many wonderful books that are considered classics. Having to narrow it down to one semester’s worth of choices is something I have discussed with others on more than one occasion. Your choices are somber and thought provoking. Even with the focus on emotional struggle that you have chosen, I have to question your inclusion of Chopin’s “The Awakening.” Yes, it certainly qualifies as a classic piece of literature. It is also one of the most depressing books I have ever read. I read it as an adult and it made me want to dress in black and comb my hair over my eyes. I cannot imagine emotional roller coaster teenagers emerging from this book’s study enlightened.
I recognize that feminist literature choices tend to be pessimistic and misandrous. I understand that you are trying to avoid literature that includes sexual themes. Still, isn’t there anything that they could read which doesn’t romanticize suicide? Are there no books for teens that are inspiring or hopeful? Would it be terrible if they read a book that made them laugh?
Cathy
Reading List for this class: The Awakening, In Cold Blood, Native Son, Their Eyes Were Watching God, The Things They Carried, Life of Pi, The Sound and the Fury, The Grapes of Wrath and The Catcher in the Rye.
// November 16th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // knoxville, school
When a very opinionated senior wasn’t entertaining me with his tales and ideas that made me grit my teeth (“You don’t need school if you’re going to pour concrete.”), I spent Saturday listening to people discuss the unacceptable graduation statistics in our school system. While we were separated into smaller groups based on each public high school, I suspect that every single group made the claim that someone in our group made. “We have to think outside of the box, because things that work in other schools, won’t work in ours.” The better statement would be what a wise teacher tacked on to that claim. “Each student has unique circumstances and needs. One size does not fit all.” That teacher voiced the one thing that everyone in our group could agree on as a solution. Every student needs a caring, supportive adult in their life.
Then, the invisible wall that keeps Knoxville from going from scruffy to shiny made its’ inevitable appearance. “It still galls me that we have kids who belong in other schools at our school. We are a community and those kids know they don’t belong in our community.” The hair on my arms assumed the porcupine pose, but I bit my tongue. Half a dozen high schools are a fifteen minute drive from my house. This is not MY school. These are OUR schoolS. Those teenagers strutting their feathers like peacocks at the mall, concert and party attend all of our schools. The teenagers committing vandalism, shoplifting and assault attend all of our schools. The teenagers excelling at academic and athletic competitions attend all of our schools. The teenagers adrift in the murky bog between childhood and adulthood attend all of our schools. The teenagers without the motivation, support or ability to graduate from high school, attend all of our schools. The drop-outs without literacy or skills to work have and will continue to affect each and every one of us.
If a student is enrolled in your school, they ARE a part of that community and anyone who thinks otherwise is a part of the problem instead of the solution. This feudalistic attitude about tiny geographic segments of Knoxville hurts our city and the people who live in it. Knoxville is too small for this us vs. them behavior. We have to work together to help every school. We have to embrace every student in every school. If you won’t even connect to the students in your own classroom because you see some of them as usurpers, we won’t succeed. If they are sitting there, they belong. If they live in Knoxville, they belong in ANY of our schools. Celebrate the fact that every student in the room is a student who still has the opportunity to graduate. Don’t pretend they are not a part of your community. Those students in that OTHER school are your community too.
// October 28th, 2009 // No Comments » // aspergers, parenting, school
While I don’t question that Tommy was ready to leave high school when he graduated, I am now firmly convinced that he needed something after graduation and before any attempts at college. He needed a year of being taught “how” to be a student. Because of the Asperger lenses that filter his view of life, Tommy thinks that just showing up for class is enough. It worked in high school. He has forgotten the teacher and aide who constantly hovered over him and nudged him about doing assignments. He has forgotten his family sitting at the table with him for hours and hours to get projects completed. All he remembers is showing up for class and absorbing enough to stumble his way through tests.
He can’t keep track of assignments and due dates. He misses small details in class discussions that turn out to be vitally important. He doesn’t feel an urgency to get assignments completed. He doesn’t feel any urgency at all. He just shows up. There is no drive, no interest and no connection. What he lacks in motivation, he makes up for in anxiety. The blank disinterest in exhibiting any desire to do well doesn’t begin to hide the stress and misery he is experiencing. My pushing him to try harder is part of his misery.
Other Aspie parents have already experienced this. Some reacted by deciding to take one single college class a semester until they find success. Some reacted by putting college aside and focusing on employment. Some reacted by going on a quest to find the special interest that sparks a fire inside their child. We all want the same thing. We want our extremely bright children to be happy, functional adults. Unfortunately, that which makes them happy, hinders their opportunities to be successful.
I don’t want to keep fighting college with a child who is content with C’s and hope that something will eventually interest him enough to ignite his engines. I am equally unwilling to let him settle in at his current level of immaturity. Sometimes, it all feels pointless. After I am gone, nobody will push him to step out of his comfort zone and interact with the world. So, I search. I search for a new path. The longer I stand still, the deeper I sink into a hole that will slow down Tommy’s journey. Now, how do we get past this brick wall?
// October 8th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // parenting, school, teenagers
Bearden High School has some new art today. It’s NSFW, but the images are here and here.
When I toured the local high schools, I looked for and asked about vandalism. The schools in West Knoxville clean and repaint constantly to reduce its’ presence. The scars it leaves behind are still visible on the fences surrounding the football fields and elsewhere. In the rural schools with less community resources, vandalism is the exception instead of the norm. To paraphrase one of the rural school Principals, “Our students don’t think property loss is inconsequential.” I’m sorry that I can’t remember his exact words. He mentioned that it’s not because everyone in the community knows who is doing what, even though they do. It has more to do with the fact that they know the time spent scrubbing with a power washer is time that should have been spent elsewhere. The paint that must be purchased could have purchased something better. The school, parents and community understand that resources are scarce and they don’t take what they have for granted. Sure, they have the occasional declarations of love scribbled on walls and desks, but not obscene and vulgar aggressiveness toward specific schools.
Just a few minutes of research would produce images similar to the ones above at the other West Knoxville high schools. It’s not just students vandalizing other schools in a misguided understanding of school spirit. Detached and oppositional students do it to their own schools as well as at other schools. Yes, the schools in West Knoxville have students with the same limited resources as those in more rural schools. Still, their behavior is different. Instead of respect for property, many of them are angry and alienated by the privileges that their classmates have been given. Far too many of the students of privilege have their misbehavior encouraged and excused by their families.
I do not want to hear that criminal charges have been filed against anyone involved in this incident. This is a parenting problem. I do not want to hear that anyone involved has been suspended or expelled. You do not reward bad behavior with a school vacation. I do not want to read the names of the offenders or the school they attend published anywhere. I want the students who know about this to tell an authority figure. I want the authority figure to arrange for the guilty parties to clean up the mess that they made. I do not want anyone to write a check to get out of this one. I want the teenagers responsible to physically scrub and paint away all of this mess while their parents sit and watch. It is only the beginning of what the consequences would be if it were any of my children. In the absence of the culprits cleaning up their own mess, it needs to be students instead of school staff who clean this. Require all students to do maintenance on their own schools and watch them become more conscientious about how they treat property.
This school rivalry as an excuse for vandalism has got to stop. It is wasteful, but more than that, it is inexcusable from the young people who are about to leave home and enter college. Privilege without respect and responsibility is a tragic waste of potential.
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