Domestic Psychology

need more caffeine

// October 1st, 2009 // 1 Comment » // me, school

I arrived at the school for my parent/teacher meeting. As I walked in the building, I saw the teacher taking down a decorative display in the lobby. I waited until all the teachers were finished discussing a new display before assisting with the clean-up. We carried everything back to the classroom and I waited for the teacher to begin discussing my child. I stood silently and stared at the teacher. The teacher tilted her head slightly and asked if I needed help with something. “Don’t we have a meeting today?” In my mind, I began questioning if I had gotten our meeting date wrong. The teacher looked like she couldn’t decide between laughing out loud and hugging me. “I was your child’s teacher LAST year.”

boy post updates

// September 24th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // aspergers, preschoolers, school, teenagers

I gave Tommy some suggestions on making his politics paper’s topic more substantial. He went to his grandfather’s and they “discussed” the paper. Tommy called me and whined for an hour that he can’t write a paper without offending someone. I told him that it doesn’t matter what his topic is as long as he has some good stats to back up his argument. I even offered to get his Uncle in on a conference call so that he could hear opposing arguments and make his own choices. Progress made trying to convince Tommy to take a chance and write something = zero.

Noah‘s baby came home on a Friday and it was what people politely call a colicky baby. If you put the doll down, it cried. Noah held the doll constantly. The only time he couldn’t immediately care for the doll was the time his little brother ran all over the house, just out of reach, with the doll’s diaper clutched tightly in his hands. “Mooom, Evan won’t give me the diaper.” Sometime around midnight, Noah fell asleep and so did the doll. The doll never woke. We tried charging the doll, but still, nothing. I wondered if the school was viciously sending home SIDS dolls, but suspected that the doll had been programmed incorrectly. Monday the teacher confirmed that all of the dolls had been mis-programmed. Didn’t we learn anything from Westworld?

Evan came home from preschool with a fever today. I would buy him a pair of pink lace panties if it would make him feel better.

note from the teacher

// September 14th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // school, teenagers

Yesterday, Noah brought home a note that none of my children have ever brought home before. He handed it to me nervously and before I had finished reading the first sentence, Noah started to beg. “Please don’t sign it Mom.” His reasons not to sign it ranged from practical to pitiful. I signed it anyway.

Sometime this semester, Noah will bring home a doll for the weekend. A $500 doll that Noah will forever remember as being responsible for one of the most embarrassing weekends of his life.

Noah was in the room when Evan was born. He held Evan before Doug did. Noah changed more of Evan’s diapers than my father changed of my brothers and mine. If Evan whimpered, Noah would pick him up and rock him. Noah proudly pushed his brother’s stroller in public. Noah’s only complaint about the fragile, noisy, odd smelling person who joined our family was that he never got to feed Evan a bottle. Noah knows where babies come from and that they require around the clock attention. He knows that everything he did for his brother was by choice and that there were adults standing a few inches from them both at all times. He also has enough sense to not be ashamed of a baby.

What this doll will do, is embarrass a 13-year-old boy. “I can’t leave the house with a robot doll.” It will make his father and I a nervous wreck. “It costs five hundred dollars. Don’t let your younger brother near it.” What this doll won’t do, is cause me to get my undies in a twist and indulge Noah’s cries of mortal embarrassment or a guaranteed disaster. “Weird stuff ALWAYS happens to me. I just know it’ll get broken.” Noah is going to have this experience just like everyone else at his school. I know what it’s supposed to teach teens, but I think I will continue to keep the no-questions-asked-condom in the medicine cabinet.

Chairback Supply Packs

// September 13th, 2009 // 4 Comments » // child welfare, knoxville, school

“Since launching in 2000, DonorsChoose.org has empowered more than 200,000 teachers and citizen philanthropists to become change makers. Our vision is of a nation where students in every community have the resources they need to learn.”

A small Knox County school has a common sense project posted on DonorsChoose.org that needs to be funded. Please help if you can and definitely spread the word to your blog, Facebook, Twitter and e-mail friends.

“I am a 3rd grade classroom teacher in a rural community school. I have taught 24 years in this school. I am in a self-contained classroom, so I teach all subject areas. My students are 9 and 10 years old. The small classroom that I teach in was built in 1938. Storage is a daily issue for my students. They only have a small area to store their backpacks and very limited space in their desks for supplies.

I would like to help my students with this problem. I feel by providing them with an extra space on the backs on their chairs, I can help them be more organized. The students will feel better about their assignments, because the supplies they need will be at their fingertips.

Many of my students receive their school supplies from area churches at the beginning of the school year. These supplies are very important to them. When they misplace something it bothers them. My students realize that these supplies will not be replaced by their parents. I have tried many ways to help my students keep up with these items. I hope that these pockets will solve this problem.

My students need 25 pockets designed to store their supplies on their chair. The cost of this proposal is $383, which includes shipping for any materials requested and fulfillment.”

Please help this school.
Still needed: $383.22 Project funded! Hooray! You guys are the BEST!

trash = art supplies

// September 9th, 2009 // No Comments » // school, teenagers

While putting clean clothes away in the girls’ room, I found a pile of garbage shoved in the corner of the closet. I threw it away. A few days later, I found a pile of empty mac ‘n cheese boxes under Sarah’s desk. I piled them all on top of her bed, which is my code for “clean up this mess before you go to bed.” The next day, the mac ‘n cheese boxes were neatly stacked ON the desk and they had been joined by several cereal and pop-tart boxes, with pictures cut out from them. A quick search of the desk contents revealed that trash was being incorporated into Sarah’s art projects. I shrugged it off as a phase and decided to ignore the pile of food packaging.

Several weeks later, Sarah now has piles of trash in her closet, under her desk, on her desk and in her window sill. Large brown cardboard boxes have been broken down and stacked under her bed. Every few days, I remind Doug that Sarah needs an art area downstairs. Even better, he needs to build an old shed in the backyard for Sarah to use as an art studio. Anyplace that is not her bedroom. Sarah doesn’t understand why the piles of trash in her bedroom are a problem. “It’s just paper.” The problem, besides the fact that she digs in trash cans to collect this stuff, is that I think she’s trying to transform her bedroom into Mrs. Galetovich’s classroom. Tomorrow night, is Open House at the high school. I am going to try and snap a picture of the G’s classroom. The picture won’t do the room justice. It is a 365 degree, full sensory experience. Even with a small 2-D picture, I think you’ll understand why I have trouble imagining that room in my house.

I wonder how Sarah will describe her art supplies on her college roommate application.

As promised:

Dear schools,

// September 5th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // parenting, politics, school

Please allow my children to watch the President’s speech to students on Tuesday at noon. I believe that it is important for students to be encouraged to do their best. I think that the office of President deserves respect and recognition. If my child’s class will not be watching the speech, please let me know asap so that I can make arrangements for them to watch it elsewhere.

Cathy

The elementary school will NOT be showing the President’s speech to students.

college freshman reboot

// August 31st, 2009 // No Comments » // aspergers, school, teenagers

Today was Tommy’s first day at Pellissippi State. We’re treating it like his freshman year of college, even though he spent a year at LMU. Well, Tommy is treating it like his freshman year. Everyone else in the family is prepared for one very exhausting semester of push, push, pushing Tommy to act like a student. Last year, Tommy ended up hiding in his dorm room all day and playing video games all night with the other not-going-to-class freshmen. It was a very expensive year of the summer camp Tommy never experienced. Tommy made friends and had a great time. I saved a message in my phone from one of the many days when I sent him a message to check on him. “I’m good. Normal. Happy.” He was happy because he was hiding in his room instead of going to class. This summer, he spent an entire day at Vocational Rehabilitation for aptitude/career testing. The results said he would be good at picking locks. Umm, I don’t think so. So, we’re trying college again with a much, much shorter umbilical cord.

During registration, Tommy constantly pointed out the students that he recognized from his high school. After freshman orientation, he told me a dozen things that his guide had told him about the school. When we met with disability services, baby geese waddled by the office window. All last week, we talked about being a good student. Last night, he went to bed early. This morning, he got up and ate breakfast cheerfully. Everything looked promising. After dropping Tommy off for his not too early 9:30 class, Doug and I tersely snapped at each other all day.

I picked Sarah up at the high school and headed to pick Tommy up from the college. Sarah was in an unusually good mood and her details about her day distracted me from my anxiety. We arrived on campus and Tommy texted that he didn’t want my help in the bookstore. I understood that, but sent Sarah in to check on him. They returned to the car and I asked Tommy to tell me about his day. Tommy talked the entire ride home. He told Sarah and I ALL about the cafeteria choices and the quality of the food. It did not fill me with confidence.

odds & ends

// August 30th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // knoxville, local, people, school

Since High School Tour 2009 will be published Tuesday morning, here is some of the stuff that won’t be included in the print or online versions of the tour.

While I sat in the school office, woman number one pulled out her cell phone to call someone and get copies of paperwork needed to complete the registration process. When she didn’t find the phone number on her SIM card, she asked the two women on the other side of the desk if they had a phone book nearby. The woman seated behind a computer, looked in all the drawers of her desk before mumbling that she couldn’t find her copy of the phone book. At the same time, the other woman looked away from the computer where she was typing and pulled a very nice smart phone out of her purse. “What number do you call for information?”

In another school office, on another day, a vice principal re-enacted a scene from “Pump Up The Volume.” I’m sure I didn’t have a p-p-p-poker face reaction, since she looked at me and declared that “they make us be this way.”

In yet another school building, a teacher actually wept for a student who made a series of bad decisions that led to a tragedy.

• One principal didn’t get the e-mail about my visit, but dropped everything on his schedule to spend more than an hour talking to me.
• All but one school spent over an hour talking to me and showing me the highs and lows of their facilities.
• The principal at a school my children have never attended, remembered my oldest child, despite having taught 1000′s of students over the years.
• One SMART principal told me exactly what her school needs first and what it already has second.
• Knox County Schools’ teachers spent their summer vacation painting, scrubbing and landscaping their schools.

The high school tours and the time I spent with school administrators was one of the best experiences of my life. I highly recommend that anyone who “hears” this or that about a school, call and schedule a visit to see and hear the truth.

Northshore

// August 26th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // child welfare, school, travel

This picture was taken three years ago, on Northshore. This is what Northshore looks like on winter mornings around the same time that the elementary bus arrives. It is a dark, dangerous road that has a roadside memorial every few yards. Some of those memorials are recent enough that it is still painful to see them. The traffic is heavy and the drivers exceed the speed limit. Driving home from a meeting one night, I witnessed an act of road rage on Northshore. A car deliberately rear-ended the car in front of them and then they dashed around their victim and sped away. The car that had been bumped, took off in hot pursuit. It was an ugly thing to watch and although I reported the incident to the police, I did not “follow them” as the 911 operator suggested.

Despite the nearby businesses that my older children love to frequent, I don’t allow my teenagers to walk on Northshore. It is just too dangerous. I don’t walk on Northshore. I would call the man around the block who runs a taxi service before I would venture out on Northshore on foot. Why would Knox County Schools think it is acceptable for elementary age children to stand on one of Knoxville’s most dangerous roads? How can they possibly justify putting children in harm’s way on a bus route that begins at 7:10 and ends at 7:13, with the excuse that they don’t have time to add three minutes to their route? This is unacceptable. Knox County Schools need to do the right thing and move the bus stop back to where children have been safely waiting for the past few years.

Update: Knox County Schools has returned the spot to its’ much safer location. Thank you!

rhetorical questions – back to school

// August 24th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, school

“Do you really think you are going to wear that?”
“Was I supposed to bring that home?”
“You weren’t going to eat that, were you?”
“Are you sure you need this today?”
“You washed my ___ last night, didn’t you?”
“Can you write another check?”