Domestic Psychology

Noah says:

// August 26th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // kid quotes

Me: “Kill the wabbit. Kill the wabbit.”
Noah: “Why are you singing about dead rabbits?”
Me: “I’m just singing Elmer Fudd’s song.”
Noah: “Who’s Elmer Fudd?”

Noah voted

// August 11th, 2010 // No Comments » // kid quotes, politics, teenagers

Until they invent a “family” sized voting machine that all the children can squish together and watch, the children take turns accompanying us to the voting machine. Last week, Noah was my voting buddy.
“Why isn’t it a touch screen?”
“Where’s the keyboard?”
“How old is this machine?”
“What if you don’t like either one?”
“If only one person is running, why do they put them on there?”
“You want ME to push the big button? Is that legal?”

This year, our school system has decided two of the school days will have special themes. One is Constitution Day and the other is Civics Education Day. Either day will be the perfect day to put voting machines in the schools and let all students turn the dial and ask questions. Have a school-wide election about a relevant issue, like selling ice cream during lunch. Let’s raise a generation of of voters.

Evan says:

// July 23rd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes

Evan: “Drive over the wheels of the car in front of you so we can go faster.”
Me: “That would cause an accident and we would not go faster.”
Amy: “I saw the mailman have an accident.”
Evan: “The mailman peed in his pants?!?”

Amy says:

// July 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // kid quotes, pets

Amy: “Mom! Dharma ate a whole jar of peanut butter. How did she do that?”
Me: “Dharma ate the lid off the peanut butter jar?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left the lid off the jar.”
Me: “Dharma took the jar of peanut butter off the shelf?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left the jar on the floor.”
Me: “Dharma took the peanut butter off the kitchen floor?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left it on the floor in my room.”
Me: “It certainly is a mystery how Dharma was able to eat a jar of peanut butter.”
Amy: “Dharma must be magic.”

I painted a door.

// July 4th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // home, kid quotes

Evan: “Awesome! I want to paint too.”
Amy: “Cool! Paint my door next.”
Noah: “When I have my own place, I’m gonna paint ALL the doors and walls with chalkboard paint.”
Sarah: “Sooooo, WHY did you paint Evan’s door black?”
Tommy: “Where’s Evan’s door?”

Amyisms

// June 23rd, 2010 // No Comments » // kid quotes

Me: “I need to make a grocery run. We don’t have Jack right now.”
Amy: “Who’s Jack?”

Amy: <- baby talk -> “Little Dharma is a cuddly, wuddly puppy.”
Me: “There’s nothing little about Dharma.”
Amy: “Except her brain.”

Me: “WHY did you dump the clean and dirty laundry in one pile on the basement floor?”
Amy: “Because you told me to look for Evan’s blanket.”
Me: “Wasn’t there a way to search that didn’t ruin my clean clothes?”
Amy: “But – I FOUND the blanket.”

More Zoo Camp Tales

// June 10th, 2010 // No Comments » // kid quotes

Me: “Can owls turn their heads all the way around?”
Amy: “No. They turn 1/3 of the way, because their eyes only see straight ahead.”
Evan: “Only the Hatter can spin his head around.”

all she wants . . . is the impossible

// June 9th, 2010 // 2 Comments » // kid quotes

“Amy? What do you want for your birthday?”
“A clubhouse.”
“Mmkay, but what else?”
“Just a clubhouse.”
“A clubhouse takes a lot of time to build and Daddy is working outside of the house right now. Let’s think of something else you might like for your birthday.”
“It’s okay. Daddy can build it at night.”
“Amy, it’s raining today and tomorrow.”
“Doesn’t Daddy have a raincoat?”
“We can’t build a clubhouse in time for your birthday Amy.”
“You have a whole day before my birthday. That’s LOTS of time.”

Zoo Camp Tales

// June 9th, 2010 // 2 Comments » // animals, kid quotes

Amy: “I got to go INSIDE the turtle habitat today!”
Evan: “Well, I got to go in a lion cage.”
Amy: “Nuh-uh. Nobody goes in the lion cage.”
Evan: “Did too.”
Amy: “If you went in the lion cage, you’d get eaten.”
Evan: “I went in the NICE lion’s cage.”

Batman v Darth Vader

// May 25th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, movies

Amy: “I’m Batman and I can beat you up.”
Evan: “Well, I’m Darth Vader and I can win without even touching you.”
Amy: “Nuh-uh. Batman is better than Darth Vader.”
Evan: “Darth Vader is the best bad guy EVER. He always wins.”
Amy: “That’s not fair. You love Batman.”
Evan: “I love to win. Darth Vader wins.”