Tawdry quirk curators
// May 4th, 2009 // No Comments » // blogging, me
This month, I am one of five guest bloggers at Scholastic Parent Voices. Click over and leave a comment so I don’t feel lonely. Right now, we’re talking about making summer plans in a tough economy.
// April 30th, 2009 // No Comments » // blogging, media, music, newspapers, video
I read you in the bed on Sunday afternoons
Lying awake reading the day before’s news.
I should have known the stories had all changed by then.
Oh-a oh
They took the credit for your second symphony.
Rewritten by machine and new technology,
And now I understand the problems you can see.
Oh-a oh
I met your readers
Oh-a oh
What did you sell them?
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Bloggers came and broke your heart.
Oh-a-a-a oh
And now we read on our laptops and our cell phones.
We think of newsprint and it seems so long ago.
And you remember the ink smudged fingers, oh.
Oh-a oh
You were the first one.
Oh-a oh
You were the last one.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
In my home and in my car,
We can’t unplug we’ve gone to far
Oh-a-aho oh,
Oh-a-aho oh
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
In my home and in my car,
We can’t unplug we’ve gone to far.
Bloggers came and broke your heart,
Look I’ll read my Twitter feed.
You are a newspaper star.
You are a newspaper star.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
Internet killed the newspaper.
// April 16th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // blogging, food, people, pets, television
The most optimistic award goes to the dog in our neighborhood who barks at airplanes. I know the little critter is convinced that he’s keeping those big metal birds from stealing his kibble.
The unexpected tv moment award goes to Heroes for finally explaining the stolen socks from the first episode. Until then, I thought they were making it up as they go.
The least understood award goes to the four-way stop. Apparently, they are still a mystery to most drivers.
The most annoying social media trend award is tweeting, facebooking and blogging the exact same thing. If you’re going to do that, please specify one outlet as the original so we can unfollow all your copies.
The quickest fall from awesome to not again award goes to boiled eggs. We have eaten them every day this week and there are STILL half a dozen in our fridge.
// March 5th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // blogging, local, me
Let’s just pretend this is a post about what is right and wrong with Knoxville. Imagine it is insightful and edgy. I used words with more than two syllables and lots of economic, education and cultural references in my pretend post today. It irritates you and you agree with it all at once. Doesn’t everyone gets one imaginary post a year?
// January 20th, 2009 // No Comments » // blogging, me
My desktop went haywire last week and I spent most of the week relegated to my cell phone during the day and the laptop late at night. Every day I would mentally compose posts and every night I would sit down with the laptop in our bedroom and stare at the blank screen. I would like to blame my inability to compose a sentence on exhaustion, but I never had a problem tip-tapping on the keys into the wee hours of the morning when I was using the desktop. The problem was clearly our bedroom. It is a basement room with unfinished walls and zero windows. The temperature has not gotten above 50 in our bedroom. When we began the great bedroom switch, Doug emptied the storage room INTO our bedroom. Instead of four half-completed walls, our room is now a mountain of old paint cans and construction equipment. So, I could blame my inability to write on the cold, the clutter or exhaustion, but I choose to think that I just need a window. Since the walls aren’t finished, maybe I’ll hang an empty frame and paint an outdoor scene. Then again, I could just stop trying to write in bed.
// January 12th, 2009 // No Comments » // blogging, people
Girl 1: “OMG, I couldn’t leave the house to come here until I changed my Facebook status to really, really cold.”
Girl 2: “I know! I saw it and changed my status to colder than you are.”
Girl 3: “Ohhh, now I have to go back home to change my status.”
// November 26th, 2008 // No Comments » // blogging, holidays, parenting, people, school
I write on School Matters, too.
// October 27th, 2008 // 16 Comments » // blogging, kid quotes, parenting, teenagers
Overheard in the high school band room:
“My mother blogs everything. You might find yourself on the Internet.”
Overheard through child’s bedroom door:
Tween reading my blog out loud to his friend, followed by, “My family is funny.”
There are mountains of blogs detailing the adventures of pregnancy and parenting UNTIL those children become teens. At that point, many bloggers turn their focus to personal hobbies or quit posting altogether. The reasons are valid. They don’t want to tell the stories that their children could someday tell for themselves. The things that teenagers do just aren’t as cute or easy to talk about as the things that babies and toddlers do and say. They don’t want to embarrass their children. Then, there are those of us who just keep on journaling. We know that our teens are perfectly capable of telling their own versions of the stories on their Facebook pages. My children are an important part of my life. I don’t WANT to avoid writing about them. We may have to write things through gritted teeth or with a hard earned sense of humor, but why would we keep written records of our lives only to a certain point? Writers write. Bloggers blog.
Noah recently complained that I blog more about Sarah than I blog about him. I do because I understand her ridiculous hormonally driven behaviors and attitudes. I do, because watching her making the mistakes I made frustrates me and drives me to drink blog. Noah, on the other hand, bewilders me. I have been a parent for more than 18 years and I am still struck silent by some of the things that adolescent boys do. I don’t know how to blog about my son abusing himself to Markie Post (Just kidding. He doesn’t know who Markie Post is). I don’t know how his mind works. I only know that he is incredibly compassionate, bright and sensitive. I know he feels forgotten and under-appreciated as the middle child. I just don’t want him to feel like he isn’t good fodder for blog posts. Or, maybe he should just stop keeping score of blog posts.
// October 23rd, 2008 // 4 Comments » // blogging, blogher, shops, technology
In my previous life, I orchestrated an annual event at the zoo in May. The sponsors and exhibitors would give up a Saturday to the event. I always felt like they deserved more thanks than they were given since without them, the event would have been hollow. Instead of anything close to adequate praise, they had to put up with crazy, like the year an exhibitor brought miniature beach balls. Someone went all over the zoo, tossing the inflatable balls into every open animal pen. The zoo employees had to scramble to rescue the animals from the choking hazard and the beach ball exhibitor got scolded over and over again for not doing their TPS cover sheet bringing something dangerous to animals. I had to change the exhibitor contract from “no balloons” to “no inflatables” after that incident. The point of this long and winding explanation is that I always try to give some extra love to the under-appreciated people who contribute to events. So, I want to give a shout out to BlogHer sponsors:
Bill Me Later – This is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of having to enter your credit card information over and over again, you just enter it once at Bill Me Later and the charges from other online stores are all sent to one site. They were handing out nylon shopping bags that folded up into a teeny pouch. I stuck it into the glove box of the car for shopping at the drug store.
Commission Videos – Profit bloggers should take a peek at this site. I picked up a calculator for Noah and a notepad/pen/post-its combo for Doug.
Hooked on Phonics – I have never seen Hooked on Phonics anywhere but television commercials. They were giving away free workbooks at BlogHer and as someone who regularly buys workbooks, I have to agree that their books are really good quality. Bright colors, clear instructions and not a lot of pointless repetition. Amy and Evan got workbooks.
Leapfrog – Leapfrog was giving away stuffed animals, so I picked up one for Amy and one for Evan. They had a drawing to give away two of their new handheld games. The new didj is a step up from the Leapster and iQuest with its’ progress reports based on abilities mastered in the educational games. Sarah won a didj and gave it to Amy. Amy is absolutely in love with the didj. I just wish it came with an AC adapter.
LG – This popular booth was promoting their upcoming site for text illiterate parents. I suspect that most of the BlogHers have a pretty good handle on texting, but the site is a good idea for grandparents. “Sarah just sent me a text message and I don’t understand what it means.” LG was handing out laser pens with flash drives. I brought back one for Doug and one for Noah. After they both praised the size of the flash drive, I wished I had gotten one for myself.
PBS – The network which hosts Evan’s beloved Curious George was wisely promoting PBS Engage. Visit the site and collect some new blogs to follow, learn about upcoming live chats and watch videos. I found three new reads there to add to my daily feed. They were also handing out UT orange rubber ducks, so Evan, Amy and Noah got ducks.
Playtex – This incredibly brave crew did video interviews with the over-caffeinated BlogHers, except me, because I have Dr. Girlfriend’s voice. They had baby bottles at their table and I flabbergasted them when I said my five children skipped bottles. Then, I insulted them when I pointed out that they would have trouble convincing moms of product safety as long as it is stamped ‘Made in China’ on the bottom. I’m sorry Playtex. I’m sure your product is awesome. Maybe next year you’ll distribute something different.
Saturn – Who generously provided our transportation from Knoxville to DC and the hybrid VUE which I want to talk about this weekend. They had nylon bags, so Noah got a new bag for toting around airsoft pellets and other boy treasures.
Shine – Shine is a Yahoo site that is like an interactive women’s magazine. They should partner with salons and let women click the site instead of flipping through magazines. The only treasure I kept for myself from BlogHer was the soft, fuzzy Shine slippers. Sarah liked hers so much that she wore them the entire day of BlogHer. She tried to wear them out to dinner that night, but wasn’t stealth enough.
Springpad – A clever online notebook application that I recommend for its’ simplicity. I am trying it out as a holiday planner. So far, it is much better than the multiple lists and scribbles that I have relied on in the past.
If I have forgotten anyone, let me know and I will add them. Their swag made the children almost forgive me for leaving town without them for three days. Almost.
// October 22nd, 2008 // 5 Comments » // blogging, people
While we’ve been distractedly preparing for the zombie invasion, the Reavers have been walking among us. Okay, maybe they aren’t Reavers, but they are certainly not the same as you and I.
Example number one – I left my favorite store and sat in my parking space messing with the phone and radio before I had to focus on driving. The woman in the car parked directly in front of me, BEEPED her horn at me. I looked around to see if anyone behind me was waiting for my space. Nope. In fact, there were empty spaces all over the parking lot. I looked back at her as she mashed down on the horn in a long, angry BEEP. She glared at me and flapped her hands like I needed to move five minutes ago. I slowly backed out of my space and the crazy lady drove straight through my former parking space and zipped on out of the parking lot. Was the reverse in her car broken or was she just a really bad driver? Either way, that was rude.
Example number two – One very hot day last month, we came upon a man pushing his car. It was a curvy, two-lane road, lined with houses. The only option was someone’s driveway or someone’s lawn. Doug hopped out of our van and helped the man push his car into a driveway that was wide enough for two cars. Before they had all four wheels on the driveway, the owner came out waving her arms and shaking her head. She stood there and argued that she did not want anyone else on HER driveway. The man offered that he just needed to go home and get a friend to come back and help him get the car home. The woman eventually consented with the warning that he had better be back quickly. We told the man to get in our van and we drove him home to what couldn’t have been larger than an efficiency apartment. We went on our way to retrieve a child from school and headed back home. As we drove by the house with the mean owner, we watched in amazement as she instructed a tow truck service to remove the car. It hadn’t even been half an hour since the car was parked in her driveway. Has that woman never had car troubles?
Example number three – While walking in Bethesda, we passed a woman letting her dog walk in an elevated fountain. This struck me as inappropriate, but Sarah went over to pet the dog. My brother politely commented that the dog was beautiful and asked if it was a ___. The woman got angry and snarled her lips to correct my brother. “MY dog is nothing like a ___. This is a purebred ___.” My brother apologized and complimented the dog again but the woman was still scolding us for insulting her dog. Is that normal Bethesda behavior? Southerners love their dogs, but I’ve never had one lose their marbles because I couldn’t identify the breed on the first try.
Example number everything else – What is with the uncontrolled rage spewing forth into blog comments everywhere? Is it campaign overdose? Stock market woes? Early holiday stress? Everyone needs to calm down. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Exhaling should take twice as long as inhaling. Pick your battles wisely. Sometimes, you just have to let it be.
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