Domestic Psychology

stupid is as stupid does

// March 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // food, me, people

Tuesdays are spent in meetings and the car. I started today with a Python-esque PTA meeting and ended it facilitating a Support Group. In between, I visited two different high schools, one middle school, the pharmacy and the pizza dude. Just like every Tuesday for the past several YEARS, I walked in the tiny pizza place and they blankly asked my name. I said it twice. Slowly. The girl behind the counter plopped two boxes in front of me and handed me a small piece of paper to sign for the pizza that I had already paid for on the Internet. The paper was blank. “Umm, yeah, the thing is out of paper and it takes forever to change, so, if you just sign that you can get out of here.” I asked her to please write the total on the paper before I signed it. “Your total is gonna be whatever it was on your computer. I’m just trying to help you out here.” I told her I wouldn’t sign a blank paper. She took the two pizza boxes off the counter and put them waaaay behind the counter. Then she dramatically began the process of sticking a small roll of receipt tape in the printer. She walked back and forth behind the counter, sighing loudly and eventually handed me an itemized receipt. “This is what was on your computer.” The, she wandered about some more before producing the credit card charge slip with the ‘sign here’ line on it. I signed it. The girl retrieved the pizzas that I had already paid for online and silently plopped them on the counter. I left the pizza place feeling like I had just been in a scene from Idiocracy and thinking about a completely automated, human-less pizza pickup system. I briefly considered that the counter employee might have actually been trying to be helpful, but dismissed it since she won’t remember me next week anyway. I think I’ll just pretend she has anterograde amnesia.

toe-may-toe, tah-mah-toe

// March 14th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Doug, food, parenting, preschoolers

Evan: “I want eat dis.”
Dad: “Cherry tomatoes? Why don’t I make you a sandwich first?”
Evan: “No sammich. Mayters.”
Dad: “I was saving those for dinner. Wouldn’t you like some peanut butter & jelly?”
Evan: “I want eat mayters!”
Dad: “Alright. I’ll make you a salad with tomatoes.”
Evan: “Noooo. Just mayters.”
Dad: “I’ll let you pick the salad dressing.”
Evan: “I WANNA EAT MAYTERS!”
Dad: “Fine. Let me wash them.”
Evan: “Done yet? Done yet? Done yet?”
Dad: “Here! Eat them.”
Evan: “Ewww. Yucky. I throw all mayters away.”

how to buy a library book

// February 6th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // books, food, parenting

1. Insist that you want applesauce in your school lunch.
2. In the school cafeteria, take one nibble of applesauce.
3. Return open applesauce to backpack.
4. Throw backpack around several times.
5. Let mom open backpack to discover applesauce in every nook and cranny of backpack, school work, folders AND a school library book.
6. Explain to confused mom that you didn’t like the applesauce and were bringing it back home for dad to eat.
7. Skip away cheerfully as mother stands like a deer in headlights, staring at the applesauce disaster inside your once nice backpack.

peanut butter

// February 4th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // food

Every time I walk past the shelves of food in our kitchen, I give the jar of peanut butter the evil eye. Bad guys can’t resist laughing at the evil eye. The peanut butter always looks back at me with a big clown smile. I just can’t decide if it’s a Bozo smile or a Pennywise smile. Stupid, delicious peanut butter.

silage

// January 22nd, 2009 // 5 Comments » // flickr, food

Learning about silage did not encourage me to drink milk.

psst, wanna buy some cookies?

// January 19th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // food, scouts

It’s Girl Scout cookie time. Again. Right on schedule, something else is in the news that threatens to make it even more difficult for girls finance their activities by selling cookies. I won’t give more attention to some of the manufactured drama from the past. Instead, let’s talk toxic peanut butter. I had to go directly to the cookie manufacturer to get my question answered, but so far, East TN Girl Scout cookies are NOT affected by the peanut butter recall. Here is the press release from Little Brownie Bakers:

For Release: January 19, 2009
Peanut Butter Safety in Girl Scout Cookies®

LOUISVILLE, KY — The peanut butter used in all Little Brownie Bakers Girl Scout® cookie products is not sourced from the supplier involved in the current peanut butter recall.

FDA and other regulatory agencies have indicated that Peanut Corporation of America (PCA) is the focus of their investigation concerning a recent Salmonella outbreak thought to be caused by tainted peanut butter. PCA does not supply peanut butter used in the Company’s Tagalongs® or Do-si-dos® branded Girl Scout® cookies.

Food safety is of the utmost importance to us. We appreciate the trust you have placed in us to provide high quality, safe food. We appreciate your support of the Girl Scouts® in your community.

Out of curiosity, I checked with the Girl Scout cookie bakery for other parts of the country. ABC Bakers is also NOT affected by the peanut butter recall. So, order Girl Scout cookies and know that you are helping pay for adventures and experiences that will help girls grow and learn. Isn’t life complicated enough without having to worry about peanut butter?

secret confession

// January 18th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // food, me

I don’t drink milk. I’ll drink milkshakes. I’ll eat cheese. I just won’t drink milk. I quit drinking milk after my first child was born. I didn’t bother trying to understand why I just couldn’t bring myself to drink it any more. I just stopped drinking milk. Eighteen years later, I think it just dawned on me that I quit drinking milk when I was breastfeeding my child. It’s probably too late to work past whatever craziness in my head made me quit drinking milk, but it’s nice to realize the cause of this particular quirk.

I believe in breastfeeding. I breastfed each of my children for more than a year. I breastfed with one arm while pushing a grocery cart with the other arm. I would feed my baby anywhere, anytime. I wouldn’t hide in a bathroom to feed my baby. I refused schedules and breast pumps. I am so pro-breastfeeding, it is bizarre a glass of milk looks completely unappealing to me.

Stir Fry Cafe

// January 5th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // food, local

I am more than a little bit infatuated with Stir Fry Cafe. For less than 10 dollars, I can have a dinner of miso soup and Brooklyn rolls. Just before New Year’s Eve, I got a cell phone message promoting sushi and drink specials at, well, I don’t know for certain where because there was no restaurant in the text ad. Since the only restaurant I have invited to send me phone ads is Stir Fry, I am guessing it was Stir Fry that had sushi and drink specials. For Stir Fry’s sake, I hope that they include their NAME in future ads. Last week, Doug and I took Tommy to Stir Fry as a special treat before Tommy left for school. Okay, maybe we went because it’s my favorite restaurant right now, but we’ll just pretend it wasn’t my selfish choice of location. During our meal, we were constantly swatting away gnats. Halfway through the meal, Doug realized it wasn’t just three gnats, but a dozen gnats clustered on the wall over our table. We pointed it out to the waiter, thinking he would clean the spot or move us to a less gnat populated table. The waiter sympathetically agreed that it was kind of gross and noted that the gnats used to hang out on a different wall. Umm, ew. I’m thinking that as much as I love this particular Stir Fry location, it might be time to try a Stir Fry in one of the other areas of town. Either that or wait until spring to return and have our meal in the patio area. The bugs have never bothered us on the patio.

hungry?

// December 9th, 2008 // 2 Comments » // flickr, food

but … food is expensive

// November 12th, 2008 // 3 Comments » // food, scouts

The Boy Scouts plan their own meals for camping trips. They also take turns buying the food. Well, technically the boys make the list and fill the shopping cart. The adults only job is to pay for the food. Guess whose turn it is to buy the food? In theory, this teaches the boys important skills. In reality, it makes me incredibly nervous. I have come to accept that I will pack Noah and Doug (and whoever else is going) a dozen outfits for a weekend trip. “This one in case it’s cold and this one if it gets hot and this one for rain and…” The boys will still return home in the same outfit they were wearing when they left and every unworn outfit will be inexplicably filthy. Wasted laundry, but that doesn’t bother me. The idea of wasted food makes my left eye twitch. I know I’m not supposed to question the boys’ meal planning, but when it looks like they are planning a leisurely brunch of pancakes with fresh fruit and whipped cream for a NOVEMBER camping trip, I imagine tons of ruined, uneaten food. Sure, I would like to know which middle school child spells “oarnges” or “katsup” but, I would prefer that one of the leaders intervene before food is used to teach a lesson. If the uneaten food was good for the animals, I guess it wouldn’t bother me so much. I just don’t think that wild animals need to be eating unused batter or burnt pancakes. Why can’t the boys just eat eggs in orange halves like other scouts?