Domestic Psychology

Girls v Boys – Valentine’s Day

// February 11th, 2011 // No Comments » // children, holidays

8-year-old Amy carefully wrote the name of each classmate on a valentine. Some of the i’s were dotted with hearts. She signed her name to each one with extraneous swirls on her y’s. The list of names was doubled checked and the cards were tucked gently in a ziploc bag until Monday.

5-year-old Evan grumbled and complained that he could pass the valentines out to classmates easier without names on the cards. Two adults took turns hovering over Evan to keep him focused on the task of addressing his cards. Amy helped Evan slide the heart shaped lollipops in the slots on each card. She frowned at one of the candies. “This one is broken. You can eat it Evan.” Evan raised one eyebrow and for a moment, I thought I was looking at John Belushi. His face returned to normal impishness and he picked up one of the Lego figurines that he always keeps within his reach. The Lego man became a hammer to smash the lollipop. Smash, smash, smash. “I can eat this one, too.”

December 31, 2010

// December 31st, 2010 // 1 Comment » // holidays, life

It’s time to end my self imposed holiday hiatus from blogging and end the chapter that is 2010. How do I wrap up an entire year and file it with other memories?

I witnessed several actual and metaphorical trainwrecks this year. Some were slow motion nightmares and others came from nowhere. Mistakes were made and lessons were learned. It will happen again and again.

In all my years of coalitions and committees, this year was the first time I experienced someone working AGAINST the group’s goals by colluding with a troll to make threats against others. I felt naive for allowing it to happen, but I don’t want to let it change my desire to trust, believe and hope.

I spent a lot of this year with family members in hospitals. It’s always a slap in the face that forces you to reconsider what is important. There’s also a kick in the pants to recognize what isn’t important.

This is the first year I can remember when families grew smaller faster than they grew larger. Marriages, births and adoptions were outnumbered by people lost to sickness, sadness and injury. There have been times when the air was so heavy with the suffering of those around me that I felt we might all suffocate. We didn’t.

I have read over and over again today of people kicking 2010 to the curb. “Good riddance.” “Won’t miss you.” “2011 will be better.” I can’t do that. The good, bad and ugly of 2010 is a part of me now. It gave me unwanted wrinkles, scars and weight. It also gave me clarity, strength and calm. I laughed out loud more this year than last year. I memorized moments. I sat still. I listened better. I lived more. I made memories. Thank you 2010.

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Cross posted 2010 Summary Tweets:
Education – Raising standardized scores by practice testing instead of teaching independent thought and creativity.
Politics – If I point out your racist comments, you call me a liberal.
Old media – We can steal from you, but you can’t steal from us.
Social Media – The year everyone declared themselves gurus while confusing fb with twitter.

Christmas wish list for bloggers

// December 20th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // holidays, people

In no particular order, I wish:

KA could see in the mirror the beauty that everyone sees when they look at her.
MW would get the job of her dreams.
TS could be with her two and four legged loved ones together under one roof.
P and her family to have a happy, healthy new year.
KG could have a moment of sheer, unadulterated bliss.
BP would get recognized for her ability to tell the stories of the living and the formerly living.
EV could find a cure.
DM would finish the playhouse.

Okay, maybe that last one was a little bit selfish.

Dear courier,

// December 16th, 2010 // No Comments » // holidays

UPS, FedEx, USPS, random guy who owns a U-haul and anyone else hired to deliver online purchases have difficult jobs. This winter’s weather has made driving more challenging than usual. I know that the fine print underneath the “rain, hail, sleet or snow” delivery service pledge says, “except for that hilly neighborhood in Knoxville with trees that prevent the icy streets from melting.”

This week, I got e-mails that said “we didn’t even try to deliver in your neighborhood that should be used as the demolition track in a video game.” Maybe they didn’t say exactly that, but that was their meaning. The first time it happened, it was funny. The second time I got an explanation why my tracking info read “out for delivery” and wasn’t delivered, I got a teensy-tiny bit stressed. Or a lot stressed. Neither is a good thing.

As Christmas is next week and I bravely (or foolishly) did all my shopping up to this point online, I really, really need my packages delivered. So, instead of sending me a ‘why you didn’t deliver’ e-mail, how about calling me on the phone ahead of time and telling me when you will be driving down the heavily salted road that has the entrance to our neighborhood. I will be waiting on that heavily travelled road and you can toss my packages out the door of your vehicle at me.

I think this is a win-win compromise for everyone. You won’t have to send me an e-mail. Your route will get done faster. My dogs won’t bark themselves hoarse. I will have one less thing to worry about. Everybody wins. Do we have a deal?

Christmas Card 2010

// December 13th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // flickr, holidays

2009, 2008, 2007, 2006 & 2005 Christmas Cards

embracing the enemy

// November 27th, 2010 // No Comments » // crafts, holidays

After being at war with glitter for years and years, I am conceding defeat. I am embracing the sparkly herpes of craft supplies. I shall now use glitter for everything.

No pipe cleaner crafts at the kitchen table this year. This year’s ornaments will be objects glazed with glitter. I’m sorry birds. Instead of peanut butter and birdseed, we’re putting glitter on the pine cone harvest. Don’t waste hours carefully draping individual strands of tinsel when you can spend minutes throwing fistfuls of glitter on the tree. Gifts will be decorated with double stick tape and glitter instead of ribbon. The cat will leave sparkly dog snacks in the litter box instead of requiring intervention to remove the undigested curly ribbon.

Glitter is physically impossible to clean, so I’m putting away the broom and 409. There’s a pile of dog hair under the couch? Lightly dust it with glitter. Dropped an egg in the kitchen? Apply glitter liberally until the mess is replaced with a pool of metallic color. Glitter makes everything look better.

The best thing about glitter is that it is the gift that keeps giving. Everyone who visits our house will get that special sparkle to spread in their own cars, homes, clothing, hair . . .

Memorial Day

// November 11th, 2010 // No Comments » // flickr, holidays

Halloween 2010

// November 5th, 2010 // No Comments » // flickr, holidays

too old to Trick or Treat

// October 26th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // holidays, teenagers

“What grade is your child’s class?”
“Which child?”
“What grade is the class you are making treat bags for with this candy?”
“Oh. Actually, I’m making treat bags for my children.”
<- begin disapproving tone -> “Well … aren’t your children lucky.”

Our family has a lot of fun with Halloween. So much fun that I can see how being told you are too old to trick or treat is more than a little bit of a letdown. I find the teens with no costume and a pillowcase funny, but I have seen and heard the way they are treated by others. The years between trick or treating and going to parties where all the females have costumes that include the word “sexy” are less than fun. Parents hover excessively and lecture endlessly in efforts to avoid dangerous teen behaviors on Halloween. Teens don’t want to take their younger siblings trick or treating. Teens want candy.

To make the transition easier, I have a standing offer to my children. If you don’t trick or treat, you get a treat bag from mom. I always make sure that each child’s favorite candy is included in the treat bag. I know that by the time they are 21, adult relationships and parties will be more important than a bag of candy. Kisses ARE sweeter than sugar. Until then, I make treat bags and store clerks frown at me for giving my teens candy instead of making the teens beg for candy from strangers. I don’t mind that kind of disapproval. I’m pro happiness and fun. And Halloween.

What should we give dad?

// October 20th, 2010 // No Comments » // Doug, holidays

Evan: “A light saber.”
Amy: “A card and a hug and a kiss.”
Noah: “Ummm…”
Evan: “A pumpkin.”
Sarah: “A robe. A really long robe that he’ll wear all the time.”
Noah: “He probably would like a light saber.”
Evan: “A flower.”
Tommy: “A shower in the downstairs bathroom.”
Sarah: “An organic, vegetarian cake.”

Since Dad picked out his gifts himself this year, I think we’ll just join him at Boo at the Zoo for his birthday. Maybe we’ll stick a candle in a Krispy Kreme donut.