No matter how carefully you scour clearance racks and sales for school Bingo night prizes, the one prize that you feel a wee bit squeamish about is the one that your 8-y-o will choose. “I got glitter glue! Glitter glue! Isn’t it cool? I love glitter glue. I can’t wait to use it on everything.”
Sawyer: “Westley licked your chicken. Are you still gonna eat it?” SuperTween: “Sure. Westley licked Santa’s cookies and Santa still ate them.”
SuperTween: “*Hey, Mom. Do you know how people dressed in the *80′s?” *My children think my name is HeyMom. I’m Stacee Jaxx’s monkey. *They also think I have only existed exactly as I look, dress and behave at this moment in time.
Dad: “Since he didn’t get to trick or treat, are you going to share your Halloween candy with your brother?” SuperTween: “I’m going to give him ALL my Halloween candy leftovers from last Halloween.”
“Why does Westley smell like pancake syrup?” “Well, I think maybe he could have gotten some on him when he was like, walking on the table and then he might have accidentally licked my plate that I forgot to put in the sink.”
“You’re getting your shirt dirty.” “My mom doesn’t care.” He’s right. Soap is cheap. Memories of a full childhood are priceless.
“I think it’s time for you to wake up now, daddy.”
Sawyer: “Did you put the dollar coin under my pillow?” Me: “No. The tooth fairy put it there.” Sawyer: “Right. So was it you or was it Daddy?”
I left town for one weekend and returned to a lawn as tall as my waist, every dish in the house dirty, a dead dryer, an attitudinal SuperTween and a heartbroken Sawyer because, “Mommies are supposed to be at home.” I’m not sure if I should travel more often or less often.
Sawyer: “I need a Tilley and walking sticks for tomorrow’s field trip.” SuperTween: “Dad’s not going to let you have his hat and the school isn’t going to let you bring sticks. Besides, school hikes aren’t real hikes.”