Domestic Psychology

How to Sawyer

// June 3rd, 2013 // No Comments » // kid quotes, sleep

“I think it’s time for you to wake up now, daddy.”
<- streeetch out so that you are double parked in dad's space AND the middle of the bed. ->

On to us

// May 7th, 2013 // No Comments » // kid quotes

Sawyer: “Did you put the dollar coin under my pillow?”
Me: “No. The tooth fairy put it there.”
Sawyer: “Right. So was it you or was it Daddy?”

Mommy guilt

// April 30th, 2013 // No Comments » // home, kid quotes

I left town for one weekend and returned to a lawn as tall as my waist, every dish in the house dirty, a dead dryer, an attitudinal SuperTween and a heartbroken Sawyer because, “Mommies are supposed to be at home.” I’m not sure if I should travel more often or less often.

GearHeads

// April 11th, 2013 // No Comments » // clothing, kid quotes

Sawyer: “I need a Tilley and walking sticks for tomorrow’s field trip.”
SuperTween: “Dad’s not going to let you have his hat and the school isn’t going to let you bring sticks. Besides, school hikes aren’t real hikes.”

perpetual renovation zone

// March 7th, 2013 // 2 Comments » // home, kid quotes

Me: “I think we should take the temporary room down tonight and have a clean living room for the weekend. I really miss my window.”
SuperTween: “Nooo! That’s our indoor playhouse. It has to stay up until summer.”
Sawyer: “Tear it down! Tear it down so Daddy can use the wood on my treehouse this weekend.”
Me: “Nooooo!”

Grandaddy: “You have a nice greenhouse here. You could grow tomato plants in the big window.”

Second verse, same as the first

// March 5th, 2013 // No Comments » // kid quotes, sleep

“I will see you in a few hours.”
“Actually, I looked at the clock when I went in your room last night and it was 3. From now on, I’ll go to your bed at 3.”
“I will see you at 3.”
“You’re getting better at this.”

Ado, ado, ado

// March 3rd, 2013 // No Comments » // kid quotes, sleep

“Goodnight.”
“You know I’m going to sneak in your bed in an hour. Instead of saying goodnight, you should tell me that you will see me later.”
“I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“That’s better.”

nocturnal

// February 21st, 2013 // No Comments » // kid quotes, pets

“It’s not moving. I think it’s dead.” – every small child that looks at our pet snake

how we look to them

// February 4th, 2013 // No Comments » // kid quotes, love

Sawyer: “You and Dad laugh a lot.”

earworm

// February 1st, 2013 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, music

Supertween has been singing a single line from a Sound of Music song for days.

“So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.”

I offered to look up all the lyrics to the song.

“No. I like this part. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.”

She sings it in the morning while getting ready for school. She sings it when she gets off the bus in the afternoon.

“So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.”

Last night, she made a big red bullseye store run with me. I grabbed a box of cereal and she sang.

“So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.”

I stared at the shampoo selections and she sang.

“So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.”

I scowled at the razor blades priced as though they are made from unicorn horns. Supertween sang.

“So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.”

Suddenly, from the CD section across the aisle, a familiar tune began to play.

“So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.”

A bullseye employee with an ear to ear grin slipped out of the music department and floated off toward the cameras. Supertween squee-screamed in that way that only tween girls can and I made a bee-line for the laundry detergent aisle. Well played, bullseye employee with a brilliant sense of humor. Well played.