“We have chicken nuggets almost every day at the middle school.” “Sweet! I can’t wait for middle school. Wait. Do you have bbq sauce?” “No. We only have ketchup.” “Am I allowed to bring my own bbq sauce?” “Sure.” “Excellent.” Dear Middle School, Please allow my child to carry a bottle of bbq sauce in […]
“Are E and I your rugrats?” “You’re my loin fruit.” “Ew! Mom! What is wrong with you?”
“It’s too bad this isn’t a three day weekend like last weekend. I wish every weekend was three days. You know my friend E? The one who has a pool? Well, it isn’t his pool. It’s his neighborhood pool. I like that pool. E made up a new word. It’s peenana. I bet you can’t […]
“Why do all of your jeans have holes in the knees?” “Knees rip, Mom. That’s just the way they are.” Maybe his nickname needs to be Bender.
“That movie was awesome! I want to dance like Peter Quill does, but Groot was the best. I like it when Groot gets the bad guys and smiles. I really wanted the spaceship to go back and save Peter’s mom though.”
When the National Mall fireworks ended, we marched with hordes of people down dark and unfamiliar streets, past waterfront restaurants that smelled like fishing piers and across a street that required walking down a flight of stairs and up a flight of stairs. At the end of the walking maze, we entered a Metro Station […]
“Noah’s taking me to college with him.” “He will be living in a dorm with a roommate.” “That’s okay. His roommate won’t care, cause I’m awesome.” “What about mommy and daddy?” “I’ll visit you on holidays and you can send me care packages.”
No matter how carefully you scour clearance racks and sales for school Bingo night prizes, the one prize that you feel a wee bit squeamish about is the one that your 8-y-o will choose. “I got glitter glue! Glitter glue! Isn’t it cool? I love glitter glue. I can’t wait to use it on everything.”
Sawyer: “Westley licked your chicken. Are you still gonna eat it?” SuperTween: “Sure. Westley licked Santa’s cookies and Santa still ate them.”
SuperTween: “*Hey, Mom. Do you know how people dressed in the *80’s?” *My children think my name is HeyMom. I’m Stacee Jaxx’s monkey. *They also think I have only existed exactly as I look, dress and behave at this moment in time.