condiment priority

“We have chicken nuggets almost every day at the middle school.” “Sweet! I can’t wait for middle school. Wait. Do you have bbq sauce?” “No. We only have ketchup.” “Am I allowed to bring my own bbq sauce?” “Sure.” “Excellent.” Dear Middle School, Please allow my child to carry a bottle of bbq sauce in […]

much to say

“It’s too bad this isn’t a three day weekend like last weekend. I wish every weekend was three days. You know my friend E? The one who has a pool? Well, it isn’t his pool. It’s his neighborhood pool. I like that pool. E made up a new word. It’s peenana. I bet you can’t […]

I did a bad, bad thing

When the National Mall fireworks ended, we marched with hordes of people down dark and unfamiliar streets, past waterfront restaurants that smelled like fishing piers and across a street that required walking down a flight of stairs and up a flight of stairs. At the end of the walking maze, we entered a Metro Station […]

It’s hard to be the youngest

“Noah’s taking me to college with him.” “He will be living in a dorm with a roommate.” “That’s okay. His roommate won’t care, cause I’m awesome.” “What about mommy and daddy?” “I’ll visit you on holidays and you can send me care packages.”

karma in action

No matter how carefully you scour clearance racks and sales for school Bingo night prizes, the one prize that you feel a wee bit squeamish about is the one that your 8-y-o will choose. “I got glitter glue! Glitter glue! Isn’t it cool? I love glitter glue. I can’t wait to use it on everything.”

Don’t tell Santa

Sawyer: “Westley licked your chicken. Are you still gonna eat it?” SuperTween: “Sure. Westley licked Santa’s cookies and Santa still ate them.”


SuperTween: “*Hey, Mom. Do you know how people dressed in the *80’s?” *My children think my name is HeyMom. I’m Stacee Jaxx’s monkey. *They also think I have only existed exactly as I look, dress and behave at this moment in time.