Tawdry quirk curators
// August 22nd, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes
Amy: “My teacher says that soap gets the germs off your hands, but antibacterial stuff kills them and leaves them there.”
Sarah: “So, if you don’t use soap, you have zombie germs on your hands.”
// August 16th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes
“If I go to your bed now, I won’t have to walk downstairs in the middle of the night to crawl between you and daddy.”
// August 15th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes
Noah: “I talked to the Mayor on Friday and today I met the Superintendent.”
Me: “How did you meet the Super?”
Noah: “Well, I didn’t know you pull the cord to make the trolley stop, so, I missed my bus stop and got to school late. When I went in the office, the Principal was talking to someone. The Superintendent came over to help me.”
Me: “What did you talk about?”
Noah: “I told him I was late because I missed my stop and had to walk.”
Me: “What did he say?”
Noah: “Bummer.”
// August 8th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes
“Please blow your nose Evan.”
“I don’t have any boogers. I only have webs.”
“Blow out the webs before a spider crawls in your nose.”
“I want spiders in my nose! Then, I can shoot webs at people. Pew-pew-pew!”
// August 7th, 2011 // No Comments » // food, kid quotes
“Evan! What are you doing?”
“Spitting out my watermelon seeds.”
“Why are you spitting them on the living room floor?”
“Dad told me not to swallow them.”
// August 1st, 2011 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, parenting
“I’m at the auto repair shop and they won’t accept my AAA card as payment.”
“Triple A is not a credit card and why are you at the shop?”
“I got a flat tire last night.”
“Was that the first time you’ve changed a flat?”
“I didn’t have to change it. The highway assistance truck changed my tire for me.”
“What?!”
“Well, my brakes failed so I popped the tire swerving to keep from hitting the car in front of me.”
“You had an accident! Why didn’t you call?”
“Why would I call home for a flat tire?”
// June 2nd, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes, music, teenagers
He: “Did you hear there’s only one Beatle left?”
Me: “There are two Beatles alive.”
He: “Nuh-uh. George Harrison died.”
Me: “Yes he did, but there are still two Beatles alive.”
He: “Wow. They must be really old.”
// May 27th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes, teenagers
girl teen: “Google it.”
boy teen: “My teacher says Yahoo is better.”
girl teen: “It’s 2011. Use Google.”
// May 8th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes
Me: “What’s in your mouth?”
Evan: “Gum.”
Me: “Where did you get gum?”
Evan: “I scraped it off the street.”
- – - – - – -
Amy: “Are nuns real or pretend?”
- – - – - – -
Me: “Call me when the banquet is finished.”
Noah: “Okay. Bye.”
an hour later
Evan: “Why is Noah’s phone still in the car?”
- – - – - – -
Tommy at 12:40 a.m.: “Happy Mother’s Day!”
Me: “Thank you!”
Tommy: “Can I have $40 for Eve Online?”
// April 6th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes, parenting
“You keep calling me baby, but babies are only one. I’m five. Five year olds are awesome! Five year olds are not babies. It’s okay though. I still love you even though I’m not a baby.”
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