Every time I sit down to blog something, whatever I try writing ends up involving my dead father. I’ve tried ignoring it. I’ve tried composing things solely in my head to see if it releases the memories into a magical void. It’s all still there. Maybe I need to vomit a billion words about it […]
I still can’t make it a day without reaching for the phone to send Dad a picture or tell him something. On his coffee at Hardees days, I still time my shower so that I will be dressed before he drops by the house. I still cry every time I catch myself doing those things. […]
My hair started to run out of melanin when I was in high school. All of my hair color now comes from a box. After decades of painting my white hair canvas, I found myself with a batch of color that had gone bad. Instead of being the consistency of good conditioner, the color mix […]
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My back hurts. I stepped outside of my house and my back fell apart. Technically, we spent the entire weekend on a friend’s boat. Still, I don’t hurt my back sitting in a chair reading. I only hurt myself when I try to DO anything. I think a few days of not doing is in […]
Hairdresser: “Big plans today?” Me: “No.” Hairdresser: “Bigger plans tonight?” Me: “Nope.” Hairdresser: “Saving up for the weekend?” Me: “No plans. None. Zero. Zip.” < - I begin to wallow in self pity about my rapid descent to death when I sit home and do nothing. -> Guy in chair next door taking to his […]
1. Open fridge doors. 2. Stare blankly at fridge contents. 3. Close fridge doors. 4. Return to step one.
Every extended family gathering: “You won’t die from an allergic reaction if you eat an onion, will you?” “No. I will vomit though.” “Great! You can eat around them.” Followed by: “Hey Cathy, want more onions? Ha-Ha!” And: “I put extra onions it, just for Cathy. Hee-Hee!” Making me physically ill is great and hilarious… […]