Domestic Psychology

May as well have said “fire truck”

// January 6th, 2012 // 2 Comments » // kid quotes, parenting

“When I grow up, I’m gonna be a cool dude rapper with lots of girls liking me.”

Since he was a toddler, the child who is so pale he gets a sunburn while fully clothed has pointed at male teens and twenty-somethings with dark skin and loudly declared them to be cool dudes. I never corrected him. Teenagers and young adults ARE cool.

I don’t know when he decided he is going to BE black. I do know that my efforts to explain to him that skin color isn’t a choice were met with complete disbelief.

I think my children conspire to come up with ways to perplex me.

Carl Sagan

// November 12th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes, parenting

Me: “Today is Carl Sagan Day.”
Noah: “Who?”
Me: “Oh, Noah. Get out your iPad and accurately describe Carl Sagan in 140 characters.”
Noah: “Seriously?”
Me: “Completely serious. Didn’t you ever wonder why your dad and I like to say bill-i-ons and bill-i-ons?”
Noah: “No. You guys say LOTS of weird stuff.”

You know that mixed feeling of excitement and disappointment that comes with realizing you can no longer spell words out to keep surprises a secret from your small children? Apparently, it doesn’t matter, because nothing you say makes sense to your teenagers.

Carl Sagan by Noah

*Carl Sagan is
Kinda sorta a little
Uninteresting.

Astronomer who
Wrote many cool articles
About science stuff.

* We spent a ridiculous amount of time discussing the number of syllables in Carl.

fuzzy pictures, clear memories

// November 2nd, 2011 // 2 Comments » // flickr, parenting, teenagers

That is probably the cleanest picture I took during my New York visit. I also like my less impressive, cell phone picture of the Bethesda Fountain. Neither picture is my favorite.

My favorite picture was taken less than a minute after the sparkly Manhattan picture at the top of this post when I turned the camera toward my companions. The resulting picture is terrible and I love everything about it.

When Sarah left high school a semester early and moved to a city she had never visited, I was terrified. She was a 17-year-old from a small town in a large city with no family nearby. Unsurprisingly, Sarah thrived in her new environment. I don’t know if her school and the city create strong, independent young adults or if the school and city attract teens on the verge of dynamic adulthood. I do know that Sarah has surrounded herself with absolutely wonderful people. They have formed their own family. A family that makes my diminishing role in her life, comforting.

It’s their world now and they know it.

Speaking of quirky

// October 12th, 2011 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, parenting

“Why is mommy’s phone in the fridge?”
“So Amy can’t find it.”

“No fair! You got to bury the dead bird, so I should get to bury the mole.”

“Why aren’t you wearing underpants?”
“They take too long to put on.”

“What happened to your library book?”
“Somebody ate it.”

“Don’t make me sell you to the gypsies.”
“Yaaay! I love the gypsies.”

“After T and N remove the porch, Amy and Evan can take turns burying whatever corpses the cat was keeping under the porch.”
“Hooray!”

6:30 a.m. Monday – Friday “It’s too early to get up.”
5 a.m. Saturday “What’s for breakfast?”

I certainly am glad that I refused to even take Tylenol when I was pregnant with these guys. It really made a difference.

Not our finest moment

// October 5th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes, parenting

Me: “What did I just say to you?”
Evan: “Stop running. Blah-blah. Quit throwing stuff. Blah-blah. Sit down.”
Me: “Thank you for listening. Now, sit down.”

Rules for our fair visit

// September 15th, 2011 // No Comments » // parenting

1. You may not have a bunny.
2. Don’t eat the food that is spilled on the ground.
3. Crying will not change the height requirement for rides.
4. If you insist on running ahead, you are going to spend a lot of time waiting for the old people to catch up with you.
5. You still can’t have a bunny.

Bonus rule for Evan:
I don’t care how hot it is outside, you may not remove your shirt.

Teens are funnier than toddlers

// August 1st, 2011 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, parenting

“I’m at the auto repair shop and they won’t accept my AAA card as payment.”
“Triple A is not a credit card and why are you at the shop?”
“I got a flat tire last night.”
“Was that the first time you’ve changed a flat?”
“I didn’t have to change it. The highway assistance truck changed my tire for me.”
“What?!”
“Well, my brakes failed so I popped the tire swerving to keep from hitting the car in front of me.”
“You had an accident! Why didn’t you call?”
“Why would I call home for a flat tire?”

Not ROFLing

// July 21st, 2011 // 5 Comments » // parenting

I recognize that our language is a living, evolving thing. The advent of social media has made it abundantly clear how rapidly it is changing. I readily admit that I had to google some of the jargon coming from Bonnaroo tweets and that doesn’t bother me. Young people should have their own dialect.

The line I draw is the use of text speak when you are not texting. Text slang does not belong in schoolwork, professional correspondence or spoken conversations. As much as I expect my children (and teens) to be polite and honest, I also expect them to speak intelligently and not like illiterate hillbillies. Consequently, I have established a new household rule that anyone using text speak out loud will be required to use five alternative examples of how they should have expressed themselves.

I casually posted this rule on another social media site and the general reaction was… laughter. I’m a curmudgeon and fighting against the current for choosing this battle. I’m denying my teenagers a way to express themselves without cursing. Except, I just don’t believe those are anything other than excuses. I will have my children memorizing roots, prefixes and suffixes before I will allow them to eliminate words from their vocabulary. Our family will have a household new word a day before we will devolve to grunting out initials. Speaking in text speak isn’t a natural part of the growth of language. It is the death of language.

giggles and guffaws

// July 16th, 2011 // No Comments » // children, parenting

You know that absolutely amazing feeling that you have the first time your baby laughs? No matter how old your children are, hearing them laugh never ceases to make you feel… wonderful.

My Geoff says:

// June 28th, 2011 // No Comments » // me, parenting

1. Scoot back.
2. Brush.
3. Bathe.
4. Show me your homework.
5. Unplug now.
6. Clean up this mess.
7. I love you.