Pokémon Go

I took three of the children out to collect Pokemon today. I sat on a bench with my book and tried to get lost in the words, but I kept getting distracted by everything happening around me. Everyone was walking around with their phones, playing a silly game. A trio of middle aged women giggled […]

Undercaffeinated – The sequel

The cashier looked blankly at the six real sugar bottles of coke in my shopping cart. Her: “Want these in a bag?” Me: “No. I’ll juggle all six glass bottles from the counter to my car.” Her: “Really?”

I should/shouldn’t leave home.

Hairdresser: “Big plans today?” Me: “No.” Hairdresser: “Bigger plans tonight?” Me: “Nope.” Hairdresser: “Saving up for the weekend?” Me: “No plans. None. Zero. Zip.” < - I begin to wallow in self pity about my rapid descent to death when I sit home and do nothing. -> Guy in chair next door taking to his […]

things forgotten

After a year in the dorm, ReadingNoah went to church with the Grands. They sent him home to choose a “more appropriate outfit” than his jeans and flannel shirt, but he made it there eventually. When he came home after church, he and the two youngest had raided the church’s Mother’s Day decor to give […]

May I have your autograph?

Starving Artist’s senior yearbook was mailed to Knoxville instead of her apartment in the Bronx. “Want me to mail it to you?” “Nah. I’ll get it at Christmas.” “Can I open it?” “Sure.” “Can I have fun with it?” “Do whatever you want.” I’m not going to look it up on Pinterest, but other than […]

about that Kent State shirt

The people I follow on various social media channels are righteously upset today. They are appalled at a tacky shirt that a large chain store is selling. The shirt has Kent State written on it, but it is printed to look blood splattered. The shirt mocks the tragic death of college students. Nothing about it […]

a visit to the DMV

Last week, I drove StacheMan to the DMV on the edge of town. That particular location is the only option for some of the most popular DMV services, including renewing the permit that StacheMan uses as his photo ID. If the services were available in downtown Knoxville, like they SHOULD be, StacheMan could have used […]

Amazon > Apple

The best part about a naughty kitten eating your laptop cord isn’t the $80 replacement cord. It’s being ignored by the hipster Apple Store employees. I’m sure they see me and mentally decide that I’m there to talk about AOL or my dial-up connection, but I’ve spent thousands of dollars in that store. I know […]

I need a haircut

As my hair grows, I snip at it to delay the need for a haircut. I’ve always done it. It works really well until there’s an unintentional mullet on the back of my head caused by the absence of a third eye. At that point, I run to the place in the mall and make […]

Another Georgia Tann comment

From the comments on this post: “My sister, cousin and I are looking for our fathers birth family. My dad and my uncle are red headed identical twins. We were all told a long web of lies only to find out that they were Georgia Tann babies. All we were told that may be part […]