Domestic Psychology | Archive

It’s clearer in my mind

// May 24th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // flickr, holidays, relatives

Valentine’s Day – senior style

// February 15th, 2009 // 7 Comments » // holidays, music, relatives, sandwich generation

Friday afternoon, my father called and asked me if I could fill one of those “music players you put in your pocket” with romantic songs. After telling him it’s called an ipod, I told him it wouldn’t be a problem. Then he clarified that by romantic music, he meant “good stuff like Andy Williams or Perry Como.” I could have easily supplied him with love songs from any decade, all the way back to the 70′s but 1950′s music? Eek! I scoured itunes and sampled song after song. You know, today’s musicians may be debaucherous, but there sure were a lot of male singers with soprano voices in the 50′s. They were doing strange things back then too. Eventually I combined two songs from the “Running with Scissors” soundtrack and one from the “Rushmore” soundtrack with half a dozen songs from artists who are extremely dead. What’s that? One of them still performs in Vegas? Seriously? Wow. Anyway, the ipod was emptied of everything except the requested music. One hour before the scheduled ipod pickup my father called me again. “Did you put “Love Me Tender” on there? I want that song.” Mmkay. The requested song was acquired and added.

My father walked in the house, took the pouch concealing the ipod and refused any directions from me. Then, he wandered off to talk to Tommy for a bit. Ten minutes later, my father rushed out the door to his “Valentine’s dinner” date. Did I mention that it was 10 in the morning? Please don’t let me ever start referring to 11 a.m. meals as dinner. A little while later, Tommy came upstairs to inhale the contents of the fridge. I asked him what his grandfather wanted to talk about. “He asked me how you turn an ipod on and where the volume switch is on it.”

An hour later my mother called. “Your father just stood up in Olive Garden and sang an Elvis song to me.” I feel like I helped perpetrate a crime against every person having “dinner” at the Olive Garden on Valentine’s Day morning.

shopping assistant

// December 24th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // holidays, me, relatives, sandwich generation, shops

Grandaddy: “I’m at the bookstore and I need to find something for your mother.”
Me: “Do you want to give her a book, music or coffee?”
Grandaddy: “I want to get a CD and one book.”
Me: “Okay. Walk to the music area and find the pop section”
Grandaddy: “Found it.”
Me: “Look for Jack Johnson or Josh Groban or Jason Mraz or . . . ”
Grandaddy: “That’s too many choices, just tell me what to get.”
Me: “Get the CD with a cute guy on the cover.”
Grandaddy: “Done. Now I need to know what book to get.”
Me: “Okay. Walk to the just released paperback section.”
Grandaddy: “Found it.”
Me: “Look for a book with a couple on the cover who have the wind blowing their hair.”
Grandaddy: “Done. Thanks.”
Me: “No problem. Need anything else?”
Grandaddy: “Nope. I’ve got from here.”

Fifteen minutes later he dropped off the bag of purchases so that I could wrap them.

family traditions – stockings

// December 18th, 2008 // No Comments » // holidays, relatives

In our family, the adult children (my two brothers and I) give our parents stockings every Christmas morning. Every year when we were children, my brothers and I would bounce out of bed and open our stockings to pass the time while waiting for other relatives to arrive. One year when my brother and I were teenagers, we began to realize that Christmas wasn’t just about ourselves. We decided our parents should have something to look forward to every Christmas morning. From that point on, we made sure our parents had stockings on Christmas morning. There are no rules to filling their stockings. Practical, absurd and everything in between is fair game for stockings. The only rule is that it doesn’t matter where they are or who they are with, our parents have stockings on Christmas morning. The joy is not in watching them open them, it is in knowing that they get to experience what they made sure we experienced our entire childhoods.

I like my bubble

// December 3rd, 2008 // 9 Comments » // holidays, media, people, politics, relatives, technology

As Thanksgiving dinner digested and the children wandered off until they heard the word dessert, newspapers became one of our many topics of conversation. My mother expressed displeasure in the local paper’s recent changes and my father scoffed at my suggestion that he was the last generation to rely on newspapers. Actually, he laughed at me in that condescending way that makes my skin crawl. “Most people don’t live in an isolated computer bubble.” He proceeded to defend his belief that newspapers are the primary news source for “regular” people. I promptly asked him when he first heard about the tragedy in Mumbai. He made a cranky remark about that area of the world and my mother’s eyes glazed over as she went to her happy place to avoid participation in this discussion. I pointlessly tried to talk about the immediate Mumbai conversations taking place over Twitter. Conversations about cases of almonds and dried fruit. Links to pictures of raw, harsh destruction. Flickr immediately upgrading someone’s account for free so that they could continue posting pictures. Pictures of clean-cut boys younger than my children with assault weapons in their hands. My words rang on deaf ears. Any doubts I may have had about the bubble that I live in were completely erased by the fact that I recognize that this world is very small and we are all too connected to deceive ourselves that we are any distance from any other country. I prefer my bubble of awareness to their bubble of, whatever you want to call it. The bubble of people who think computers are only for chain letters, memes, games and porn?

I’m a socialist

// November 18th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // politics, relatives

Today’s letters to the editor include more redistribution of wealth will bring ruin of nation anxiety from Knoxvillians. Because I am a trouble maker, I am going to send the author of that letter the cartoon below. Because I don’t want to continue that trouble if the children are in the room, when the extended family gathers for Thanksgiving dinner this year, there will LOTS of subject changing to avoid discussing politics.

Mr. Magoo called me

// November 14th, 2008 // No Comments » // relatives, sandwich generation

I like talking to Mr. Magoo. We don’t agree on politics, but I try to avoid responding to anything that I know will upset him. Mr. Magoo is closer to 70 than he is to 60 and time has left fingerprints on his vision and hearing. Mr. Magoo likes to do things with his friends. Sometimes, their adventures resemble those of 12-year-olds. I frequently have to call Mr. Magoo’s wife to get an explanation of what he is doing. This week, Mr. Magoo called me with his latest and greatest plan. He and his friends are taking classes so they can concealed carry. This information came less than a minute after complaints of vision problems that persist despite his glaucoma surgeries. Yes, the world is so bad that 70-year-olds now want to be Yosemite Sam. I don’t believe for one minute that there is not a correlation between the myths that Mr. Magoo believes about the incoming President and the sudden desire to wear guns. Mr. Magoo’s wife thinks that a vision test will be involved in this process. She also thinks they will get bored with this activity and move on to something else. I am not convinced. I wonder if I can talk Mr. Magoo and his friends into trying something slightly less dangerous, like parasailing.

locals make the best tour guides

// October 21st, 2008 // 7 Comments » // politics, relatives, travel

I owe a big thanks to my brother for playing tour guide while we were in DC last week. If not for Danny, I wouldn’t know such valuable things as:
“This is where Monica Lewinsky was deposed.”
“This statue made so many people angry that the compromise was to place it outside the memorial.”
“That’s where Chelsea went to school.”
“This is where the media set-up camp to monitor Gary Condit.”

Always take a local along as a tour guide.