I thought this was a pretty ingenious way to blend learning with silly. We spent hours talking about idioms and how to make sense of them visually. The adults quietly mumbled several dozen completely inappropriate idioms and costumes, like a fake backside worn on the front of your body.

Eventually we agreed on an idiom that wouldn’t require major clean-up on a busy evening with Trick or Treating. A tiny pail was laced into a shoe so that it clanged and bounced with every step. I told Amy to grin and say she was kicking the bucket. In my mind, I pictured Jimmy Durante’s ever so silly bucket kicking scene in “It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world.”

Unbeknownst to me, her father decided that wasn’t enough background information. He told her aaaaall about the origin of the idiom and described examples with humans and animals. I found this out when she was describing her day to me and repeated her graphic monologue about her chosen idiom.

Amy will be very lucky if her classmates don’t start calling her Wednesday Addams. Doug will be the person talking to Social Services when they pay us a visit.

We have teacher assignments, class schedules and a city bus pass. We have met our new teachers and the two youngest children have filled their classroom desks with supplies. Well, Amy neatly arranged her desk and gently placed a single sharpened pencil in the groove at the top of the desk. Evan shoved everything inside his desk, declared “done” and bolted out of the classroom.

Tomorrow morning, Noah will ride a city bus to his brand new school. Monday, the two youngest will begin school. Two weeks later, Sarah will take the long, long Megabus ride to New York.

I miss them already.

You already know how low ACT scores, graduation rates and subject area benchmarks are for Tennessee’s children. You have seen the reports from Tennessee universities that most incoming freshmen need remedial coursework before they can begin their college level classes. Business leaders have repeatedly told you that they cannot operate in Tennessee with the illiterate workforce that currently exists.

Our high school students are too valuable a commodity to weaken their educational system with this ‘compressed calendar’ movement so that companies can have cheap summer labor. School IS a student’s job. Our students need more education and not less education. Our state needs a more highly skilled workforce to survive in the current and future economy.

Our state needs to focus on jobs. Jobs require a literate workforce. Future jobs require a highly educated and skilled workforce capable of innovation. Our students need more math, more science and more critical thinking skills. Our students need less summer vacation, not more.

Please do not take control of local school calendars away from the communities which they serve.

Cathy McCaughan, parent

“How old are you?”*
“How many kids do you have?”
“How many pets are at your house?”

There are a dozen additional questions, but the common theme of the answers is that they are numbers. I asked the girls if they like math. “Ewwwww.” The chorus of disapproval was followed by a sing-song game where the girls ask each other questions that are answered with numbers.

“What’s your favorite number?”
“Three.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Three.”
“What’s your dog’s name?”
“Three.”

In groups of adult women, there is a recurring story theme that begins, “I hate math.” This declaration is followed by an elaborate real world math application that would make SAT takers break out in a cold sweat. My favorite one involves a vehicle’s fuel consumption, distance until the next coffee shop and required potty stops.

Girls like numbers. They may have been told they don’t, but they do. They may have been told math is hard, but it doesn’t have to be. They may think there is an unwritten rule that girls must claim to hate math, but there isn’t. Numbers are everywhere and we use them constantly. Without numbers, we wouldn’t have the technology that our children think has always existed. Without math, we won’t have new … anything. If men are the only people acknowledging their math skills, men will be the only innovators.

Do we want our daughters’ futures determined by the inventions, cures, technology and weapons of men?

*After our mayor visited the class, I asked my child what the mayor said to them. The only thing she remembered was the mayor’s age.

The students hated the math bingo game. The ones who understood the skill were bored. The ones who were still learning the skill, were unhappy in a million different ways. In exchange for completing one full bingo game without problems, I let them take turns typing in the answers to the exact same skill on an iPad game. This was unanimously popular.

One student understood the skill. Even though she was bored by the bingo game, she made it entertaining for herself. When another student struggled, she whispered in their ear. I could have adjusted the level of the iPad game to make it more difficult and she would have figured it out. This little girl was so self confident that she sparkled. In an auditorium style class of 100 students, she would still learn. She wouldn’t blend. She would stand out and be known. Class size will not matter to this little girl. She is going to thrive.

Another little girl was still figuring out the skill. She may have been on the cusp of getting it or she may need to step back several steps to relearn the building blocks of the skill. I couldn’t tell, because she was so paralyzed by anxiety over how she compared to her classmates, that she couldn’t focus on anything. She was concerned that her question was harder than someone else’s. If her question seemed too easy, had I deliberately given her an easy one? She tried valiantly to be invisible, to let someone else think for her, to just survive until lunch. This little girl needs a small class. She needs to be seen. She needs to learn to sparkle.

The education reform movement is a thinly veiled effort to do many things that are not in the best interest of children. Schools should not be factories with test results serving as quotas to keep jobs and save schools. Children are not assembly line products. Students are so much more than ACT scores.

Education is not a one size fits all process. Class size matters.

As the sing-song voices got sillier and louder, the girl on the end spoke for the first time. “How long has your coffee cup been empty and why are you still holding it?” It was the most perceptive thing I have heard in ages. We chatted while the rest of the table sang a Lady GaGa song.

She asked me if I am the kind of mom who works or stays at home. I told her I do both and we talked about websites and writing. “How do you know what to write about?” “I write about everything. I might write about you.” “That sounds boring.”

If I was wealthy, I would put a writing device in that child’s hands today and encourage her to journal her thoughts. The only thing worse than wasting such a natural curiosity and talent for observation, would be that little girl going through life thinking that she is boring.

Flat Stanley’s reputation makes an explanation redundant. Our school uses Stanley to make the traditional “What I did for Spring Break” report more fun for children. Instead, he is a photo-journalled reminder of what we didn’t do with our children during Spring Break. Our Stanley never goes to Europe, Disney or someplace exotic. He doesn’t spend the break from school on a cruise or at the lake house.

Once again, Stanley is going to be visiting us during the annual Boy Scout outing that leaves me outnumbered by children. The new factor in the equation is the absence of the absolutely amazing Sarah. Her absence is an unfillable chasm that makes the simplest of tasks unmanageable with Evan the unpredictable. So, I have begun creating Stanley’s schedule.

Stanley is going to experience the thrill of a Quiddich match as he sweeps the piles of dog hair from the floor. He will await a royal rescue and the return of his lost glass shoe during his daily efforts to remove the layers of construction dust from the furniture. His safety is uncertain when he experiences the real life Lord of the Flies aka playing outside in the yard.

If this is too boring for Stanley and the adult who is left at home, there could be Stanley cloning, Stanley mutation or Stanley zombification. One week to have fun with Stanley is worse than a closed Wallyworld with a deranged Chevy Chase. Forced fun is a test of parental creativity and sanity. I might fail both.

Watch the entire episode, including guest Diane Ravitch here.

Pictures and plaques for donors is the first task of the evening.

The main floor of the City-County bldg is about 80% full and red stickers are the accessory of the evening.

The red sticker – http://twitpic.com/45gfkc

They are discussing a policy on civility in the schools. Ms. Buttry does not support this.

Her complaint is that if we can’t force parents to be involved, we can’t tell them how to behave in schools. / I disagree.

Ms. Buttry will hereafter be referred to as Ms. B as she has a lot to say tonight.

Ms. B would like a detailed explanation of the protocol for emergency closures available online.

New Northshore school design being discussed because the homeowners near it are concerned about traffic pattern and …

the hvac, trash and design needs to blend with the neighborhood design codes.

Ms. B refuses to vote because she doesn’t approve of the site or the $ on a new school.

Ms. B has to express her disapproval of $ being spent on STEM school. Board chair expresses approval of capitol investment plan.

Ms. B wants to argue about STEM school costs.

Someone please bring Ms. B a Snickers bar.

For the record, Ms. B voted for the budget on accident, then voted against as well.

Next is a huge number of community members discussing sex ed.

First speaker – BHS parent. No PP. Compared PP to KKK.

Second parent – No PP. Thanks board, but wants more info about PP’s influence in schools.

Anti group wants teachers prevented from attendance at all PP trainings, mtgs, events.

Next speaker expresses that PP breaks laws and defies parental authority.

This speaker disagrees with PP answering student questions in a graphic manner. Apologized for using the word sperm in his example.

Next speaker expresses that anything beyond abstinence only is not allowed in our schools. “Students are coerced to use anatomical models.”

Speaker does not want students taught use of condoms and dental dams.

“Planned Parenthood sells sex.”

School Board Chair extremely patient with speakers going beyond their allotted time.

Knoxville OB/GYN does not refer his patients to PP, so schools should not. Claims PP condoms and BCP are designed to fail.

According to this Dr, local ERs have to deal with girls who lose uterus or die because of PP abortions.

FYI – That was Dr. Briggs speaking if you are seeking a new OB/GYN.

This speaker is complaining about Knox County KAPPI program and Cynthia Hudson.

More apologies before reading examples. Claims PP discusses making sex pleasurable instead of pregnancy prevention.

Next speaker suggests audience learn about PP from child predators website.

This speaker expresses that teens should not be taught about oral sex.

This parent has documented on their blog how PP makes millions by teaching sex to create the need for abortions.

This speaker claims this curriculum has been kept a secret from parents.

This speaker expresses that PP conducts a sales pitch for their abortion services. Now talking about Mona Lisa Project.

Oh, goody. It’s my parents’ pastor.

This speaker might be connecting PP to slavery, but I’m lost in a sea of quotes here.

Someone complaining that board chair is cutting every speaker short 30 seconds early even though each speaker has gone a minute over.

This speaker says nothing but abstinence is legally allowed in schools. Concerned PP handed out literature to students.

This speaker concerned that parents were excluded from decision to allow PP in schools.

This speaker very concerned about PP peer program that markets their abortion services. Concerned students will want condoms and more sex ed.

This speaker unhappy about the way the HVA parent who complained was ridiculed by press. Unhappy that a Bearden teacher was honored by PP.

This speaker concerned about PP using Kinsey research.

Speaker expresses that anyone who questions the perversions of Kinsey should not allow PP to “get our children”.

This speaker is a Dr who is discussing his patients suffering from the psychological consequences of sex and abortion.

Speaker asks board to support the good people in this room who don’t support evil.

Another speaker unhappy that a Bearden teacher was given a PP award and says that it is no accident PP wanted an abortion clinic in Bearden.

Speaker concerned PP curriculum is going to sneak into all classes. Is going to fight for elected Supers.

This speaker wants school teaching biology and STDs. Does not want sexual activities or relationships discussed.

This speaker does not want anyone teaching her children that “gay” is normal or healthy.

Speaker doesn’t want her children who opt out to be exposed second hand to other students talking about sex.

This speaker wants us all to know that he has to go potty.

This speaker concerned that PP doesn’t lead children to the healthiest option. He works for abstinence program. Discussing Kinsey again.

This speaker claims abstinence only is proven to be the only program that works.

This speaker says that kids who are asking questions need answers. Wants comprehensive sex ed, peer support and trained teachers.

This speaker asks students to speak up and say what they want and need.

Best speaker so far – http://twitpic.com/45hbyq

This speaker unhappy PP was kicked out before parents could give feedback. Wants PP back in schools.

I’m old, but this speaker looks like a teen to me. He is very unhappy that students now have no one to answer their questions.

This speaker wants us to know that sex ed determines where parents send their children to school. / Really?

This speaker wants teens taught that teen sex is wrong. Says that teens don’t have sex if they have close relationships with parents.

This speaker thanks board for removing PP and wants sex ed to ask students to have better behaviors.

Speaker says we should expect abstinence.

Dude, I knew you were a youth pastor before you said it.

Speaker prays we can go all the way and do something better for our kids.

This speaker is going to read the PP Q&A page.

This speaker concerned that PP teaching sex is beyond PP’s area of expertise.

Teenwire.com very unpopular with anti-PP speakers.

West High parent asks that Just Wait group be allowed in schools to teach students to protect their purity.

This speaker comparing KKK to PP. Second time tonight that parallel has been used.

This speaker had a child die of AIDS and says PP wouldn’t have saved his son from the homosexual lifestyle.

Board chair sounds exhausted.

Teen who is a PP peer would like audience to know that she is not brainwashed.

Very nervous Bearden teen says that PP does talk about abstinence as an option.

This HVA teen says PP is not the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy. Says students can say things to outside speaker they can’t say to teachers.

Senior from Missionaries for Life is unhappy that he has to speak about something so disgusting tonight.

He is going to read an abortion procedure handout to us.

Now he is talking about second graders performing oral sex in school.

Commissioner Wright is speaking about the new elementary school on Northshore.

I think we’re done. I’m going home to distribute condoms to the neighborhood.

Tonight I learned I live less than Innagaddadavita from the City-County Bldg. Oh, and Knoxville thinks sexuality is a dirty, dirty choice.