Domestic Psychology

early graduation

// August 10th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // school, teenagers

“They said I can graduate early if I skip guard this year.”

Those words were the tap that sent dominoes falling without a way to stop and with no do-over option. Once you tell a teenager that they don’t have to be at school . . . they have no intention of being at school. Meetings with school counselors are no help because they clearly want students out of the school. “Why should she be here if she doesn’t need to be here?” Not just my child, but all the parents who tweeted that their children were also told they should graduate early. Parents who, not so coincidentally, have children at the exact same school as my child.

Here’s the thing that teenagers don’t recognize. No matter how draconian the administration, high school is safer and easier than life after high school. Yes, the safety part comes at the loss of potential fun and freedom. Doing dangerous and stupid things in a quest to declare your adulthood isn’t supposed to come until the end of twelfth grade, which happens about the same time as your eighteenth birthday. Four years of high school are for learning and maturing. Leaving school early eliminates the precious time that teenagers NEED to develop things like self-control, time management and the oh-so-important recognition that you are not invulnerable.

Schools should be motivating students to take more classes and explore new subjects. Schools should not be shoving teenagers out the door. Leaving school early means missed opportunities for education. Education that provides the foundation for a successful college experience.

Are these early graduates starting college or vocational education earlier than their peers? Last spring, I ran into a teenager from the exact same school as my child and the other children who are being encouraged to leave early. She was working in a restaurant where I was eating lunch. I asked her if she was taking college classes. “No. I’m waiting for everyone else to graduate so we can all start together in the fall.” Instead of being in high school or college, she was enjoying getting to “stay out late and sleep all day when they don’t need me at work.” Does that sound more than a little bit more dangerous than being in high school with your peers? Does this extra semester of party instead of learning make her more or less prepared for college?

My child isn’t being given the option to spend a semester playing. When she leaves high school, she will begin college. She’ll be starting in January instead of August, when freshmen are normally welcomed into the social community connected to college. She won’t have the luxury of going into the college of her dreams. Since she’ll be months away from her eighteenth birthday, she is going to have to be in a school close to home for her first semester. Everything about this is awkward and complicated instead of natural and appropriate. The counselor who knocked over that first domino did my child a disservice. They are hurting instead of helping their students. They have all lost sight of the purpose and gift that is high school.

local elections – school board version (pt 2)

// July 23rd, 2010 // 3 Comments » // politics, school

If you live in the 9th district, your School Board choice can be narrowed down to one simple question. If you want to continue with the representation you have now, Bratton is your candidate. If you want something different, Trainor is your candidate. If you live in a cave and don’t know that both of your candidates are well-known figures in the Knox County education community whose careers speak for themselves, then consider the candidates’ responses to the following question.

Should school foundations be allowed to fund specific classes? Bratton’s response was that it wouldn’t be fair to allow that, because it would create have and have not schools. In other words, if we can’t have it, nobody can have it. Trainor stated that if foundations can help schools keep from losing classes, they should be able to do so.

Neither candidate stated that the current funding already gives disproportionately to schools from lower SES communities to balance the communities that can afford to provide more themselves. Why would you cripple the schools that are getting less government resources from using the community resources that eliminate them from additional government funding? That’s like shooting yourself in the foot because shoes don’t fit on your hands. Moreover, why wouldn’t any School Board member have the maturity and intelligence to allow each and every school to be the best that it can be?

The 9th district needs a School Board representative who cares about all schools and all students. That representative needs to be Trainor.

local elections – school board version

// July 22nd, 2010 // No Comments » // politics, school

If you live in Knox County’s seventh district, your choice for School Board is Sepesi or Warwick. Both seem like good people with sincere motives. Because of their career histories, both are going to be clear and quick thinkers if there is a crisis. If you want to save vo-tech programs, Warwick is your candidate. If you think your district is getting the budgetary short straw, Sepesi is your candidate.

Based on their responses at the most recent forum, both candidates are facing a steep learning curve. The “Race to the Top” money is not what they think it is. It is going to be like rain in the desert that evaporates before it touches your skin. No volume of weather reporters saying that it rained is going to change the fact that you are still thirsty.

Saving the vo-tech programs is admirable, but highly unlikely. Realistically, profit and non-profit groups are the future of vocational training. Getting more money into your district is admirable, but skip the politics of board member vs board member and work to get new business in your district and existing businesses in your schools.

Elect either one. The results will be nearly identical.

summer reading

// June 1st, 2010 // 4 Comments » // books, school, summer

Ahhh, June first and the start of summer fun school assignments. The youngest children don’t have formal assignments, so they get to choose their own books and we casually work on specific skills. Evan excels at numbers, so we are learning what sounds belong to each letter. Amy’s reading and writing abilities are amazing, so she needs to work on numbers.

Noah and Sarah have assigned summer reading. Noah normally absorbs a novel a day, but he is less than thrilled at his new books. Noah is going to read:
“The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd
“Anthem” by Ayn Rand*
“Of Mice and Men” by John Steinbeck
“I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” by Maya Angelou
“The Greatest Generation” by Tom Brokaw

Sarah is going to read:
“How to Read Literature like a Professor” by Thomas Foster
“1984″ by George Orwell
“Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley
“Heart of Darkness” by Joseph Conrad
“The Greatest Generation” by Tom Brokaw

“The Greatest Generation” is on both lists because the school wants every student to read it. The teachers didn’t include it on their printed lists. Sarah took this as a sign that it was optional. I took it as understood, since everyone is supposed to read it. I don’t care if they discuss “The Greatest Generation” in basket weaving class, but they’d better discuss it at some point this year or my name will be mud.

Sarah also has a summer art portfolio and college shopping to get done while Noah learns how to be a part of the marching band. Tommy thinks his summer will be spent sleeping until noon and playing games all night. I’m going to schedule play dates to force him to interact with others and get out of his room. I’m a brutal taskmaster.

*I hate this choice. Like last year’s Catcher in the Rye, I would happily trade for a different book if it was an option.

Ready for clown school

// May 14th, 2010 // No Comments » // preschoolers, school

“Evan, I need you to pay attention and answer the teachers’ questions today.”
“Okay. I’ll tell them a good joke.”
“Umm, why don’t you tell me the joke first.”
“Knock-knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Apple.”
“Apple who?”
“Apple head! Bwa-ha-ha! Isn’t that funny?”

On the class assignment flowchart, “apple head” is guaranteed to bypass all the academic questions and send you directly to the class with the strictest teacher for the naughtiest children.

Evan says:

// April 27th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // school

Evan: “Do I have show and tell today?”
Me: “No.”
Evan: “Is it a treasure box day?”
Me: “No.”
Evan: “Then, why am I going to school?”
Me: “Today is fire drill day.”
Evan: “Awesome!”

I do get weary

// April 7th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // aspergers, mental health, people, school

After almost twenty years with a child who doesn’t fit the mold and that same amount of time spent advocating, I get tired. It is exhausting to constantly explain to those who don’t want to understand. It makes your bones hurt to have obstacles and insults hurled at you daily. It is draining to trudge through the sludge of hate and ignorance at anyone or anything that is different. Sometimes, I want to leave the struggle for someone else.

In a neighbor state, mobs of hateful adults are teaching their children to be intolerant and spiteful toward those who are different or dare to love the wrong person. Locally, a newspaper article about teaching positions being saved from the budget axe doesn’t result in comments rejoicing the much needed teachers. Instead, it is a festival of wrath toward special education students.

Things like this make me weary. They also remind me why I can’t stop trying.

“We are trying to construct a more inclusive society. We are going to make a country in which no one is left out.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

School Board meeting (Twitter explanations)

// March 22nd, 2010 // 3 Comments » // school

As I’ve mentioned before, I like going to School Board meetings. Last week, I went and Twittered the meeting, but that left half a dozen things in need of explanations.

First, Tennessee was represented at the Race to the Top final interviews by only ONE Superintendent from the entire state, Dr. McIntyre. That speaks volumes about the quality of our Super and we should be very proud of him. I will revisit that point at the end of this post.

Second, the pension conversation was horrible. Why can’t you stop paying the promised pension to the retired teachers who depend on it to live? Because you are contractually obligated and saying that the seniors should just tighten their belts was ridiculous. Asking how long before they would die and release you of the obligation was brutal and you deserved the cold responses you got from the firm handling the pension. That said, a financial investment firm who says “If it makes you feel any better, ALL of our clients are having to invest extra cash this year,” are not doing a good job of promoting their firm. The next time Knox County needs an investment firm, they won’t be calling you.

Third, one ream of paper is 500 sheets and costs less than four dollars when purchased in bulk. Your handouts are what, a dozen pages? Since you haven’t spent enough time on the school’s website to learn that absolutely everything is available there, perhaps you should stick to the printed notes and not worry about that few dollars of paper per month. After you learn to use the laptop and take notes on it, then we’ll revisit this subject. Maybe you can take a class on using the computer & KCS site with the board member who doesn’t know to turn off the sound before visiting websites completely unrelated to the meeting that you are being paid to attend.

Fourth, a huge thank you to the board member who is paying attention to the community members who are begging the schools to explain how fees are spent. That money is used for supplies and events, but people don’t realize how much it is needed. Tell parents exactly what students are learning when they visit a museum, but also tell how much it costs just to put the students on a bus. Explain how expensive it is to purchase and maintain musical instruments, but clarify why the benefits are much greater than the costs.

Fifth, after about two hours of the meeting, my mind drifted. The room was a billion degrees and I was hungry. It took less than three minutes to fill out my census paperwork and my family is probably twice the size of yours. Fill out your form and mail it.

Finally, the post script to the meeting that happens after the reporters have fled the room is a community forum. This evening’s forum was all about the consequences of the budget. There were appeals from the teachers’ union and the school losing the most teachers to rethink cutting out the most important learning tool, teachers. Then, there were two former students and a co-worker praising a teacher who is not just losing his job, but his entire department. Most importantly, that very teacher spoke for himself, his program and his students. It was heart wrenching and left me feeling like I had been run over by a train. Go to the very end of the video (183:35) and watch this teacher speak. After the camera stopped rolling, the Superintendent got up from his seat at the table and walked directly to this teacher. I repeat what I said earlier. Be very proud of the man who is in charge of Knox County Schools. It doesn’t matter if he agrees or disagrees with everything that you believe. He is sincerely trying to do the right thing.

Twitterings

// March 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // blogging, school

Until I have the time to sit and write, last night’s Twitters:

* Uggs and shorts at Pilot on Cumberland. #spring about 16 hours ago
* Blazer, cut-offs and flip-flops on campus. #spring about 16 hours ago
* This room is filled with middle-aged women and the temperature is about 80F. about 15 hours ago
* Knox County represented at DC Race to the Top presentations by Dr. McIntyre. No other TN Supers there. about 15 hours ago
* Great Schools Partnership changing name to reflect that they are a private foundation. Board asking why he believes he can raise $. about 15 hours ago
* This conversation about teachers’ pensions is cold. Almost brutal. about 14 hours ago
* When one specific board member speaks, my eye twitch starts up again. about 14 hours ago
* Love the board member who thinks one ream of paper a month is going to make a difference in the budget. about 14 hours ago
* Gah! Why don’t you explain how the fees are used so that parents pay them? about 14 hours ago
* All the teachers in here are shaking their heads in disagreement with this budget discussion. Were they excluded from the planning? about 14 hours ago
* Was he allowed to attend his child’s high school orientation or did he just hear about it second hand? about 14 hours ago
* Got bored. Filled out my census form. Same person still talking. about 13 hours ago
* No new textbooks this year. Maintenance being cut. Teachers being cut. They “hope” they won’t have to cut central office staff. about 13 hours ago
* Yes! Karen Carson gets it! Tell how money is used. about 13 hours ago
* Trustees and 3 million dollar fee topic of extensive complaint. about 13 hours ago
* Please stop grandstanding and let the meeting finish. about 13 hours ago
* I just sent an e-mail to the person sitting beside me. #easilyamused about 13 hours ago
* The a/c just clicked on. I’m guessing that is to wake everyone. about 12 hours ago
* I’m going to steal @lolaalapo’s cooler full of food. about 12 hours ago
* I’m hungry and we are talking about the results of the 2010 census. Please move forward. about 12 hours ago
* Schools should take turns running a refreshment table in the hall during these meetings. about 12 hours ago
* If they interrupt Mr. Milligan, there will be a riot in this room. about 12 hours ago
* After 3 1/2 hours of School Board budget meeting, the 13-y-o informed me that he has a birthday party immediately after school tomorrow. about 11 hours ago

big attitude

// March 11th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // flickr, school

What do you do if you are the smallest second grader in the school? You lean left and right to be seen. You stand on tiptoes. You grin, make silly faces and wave at the audience. You mouthe the words when someone else is speaking. You make big, exaggerated movements with your arms and face. Most of all, you never miss a chance to sing directly into the microphone. Amy may not stand tall, but she carries a big attitude.