Domestic Psychology

Dear Tommy,

// October 5th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // flickr, home, parenting, pets, siblings

I am beyond thrilled that you are happy at school with your friends. I can see that if this college doesn’t work out, you are going to need to live away from home to be happy and functional. However, we need to talk about two things. First, let’s talk about your room. I like it staying clean from non-use, but there are still six people in this small house. Four of those people are actively campaigning for custody of your room. If we are only going to see you one day a month, you are going to find your new room is a cleared out space in the basement. I know it’s not fair to you. This will always be your home, but the people who are still sharing bedrooms are higher priority than the family member who only comes home for laundry and food.

The other thing we need to discuss is your snake. I enjoy giving him attention every day and his weekly swim is very entertaining. I don’t love that the only meat in our freezer is a bag of small mice. Dad cleans out the litterbox, but somehow, cleaning up the snake’s poop that looks like it could have come out of the cat has become my job. Again, I am less than thrilled with this new chore. If you pass your classes this semester, your snake is either going to live with you or we are going to be honest and call him my snake. When he is mine, the first thing I will do is change his name. Bahamut is a very intimidating name and this little guy is extremely gentle and quietly curious. He’s more of a Monty.

I love you and I miss you.

Mom

“Look Mom, I got runned over.”

// September 18th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // parenting, play, siblings

Those words aren’t very adrenaline inducing when the person speaking them is just holding out their small hand, which is unscathed except for a bandaid. I peeled the bandaid back and saw a scrape that was still filled with little bits of road. The mention of washing off the injury caused tears and I looked up to judge if the upset was pain or fear. The fearful eyes didn’t hold my attention. I was distracted by the large goose egg forming under an abrasion on her forehead. “Who ran over you?” She whimpered that it was M. M is a petite 7-year-old girl. “How did M run over you?” “She rode her bike over me.” Amy lifted her leg to show me tire tracks on her calf. Amy’s big sister found this story very funny and joined in the interrogation.
Sarah: “What were you doing? Lying down in the road?”
Amy: “I tripped and then M just drove her bike over me.”
Sarah: “Did she fall off her bike when she hit you?”
Amy: “She didn’t hit me. She rode over me and kept going.”
Sarah: “M rides a bike better than Chuck Norris.”

the secret rules of life

// January 4th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // aspergers, siblings

Tommy has a unique view of the world around him. He translates the actions of others into rules. He has his own set of rules for interacting with his world. We don’t consciously try to decipher his play book. Most of the people in our house have learned how to interact with Tommy. Tommy has learned how to interact with everyone in the family and his immediate social circle. Everyone except Amy. Apparently, five year old girls don’t follow the rules. While Amy seems predictable to the rest of us, she is a constant source of frustration for Tommy. He doesn’t understand her behavior and she doesn’t interact with Tommy according to his rules. Tommy can have long, complicated conversations with adults, but he and Amy can’t go ten minutes without fighting like toddlers. I can never decide if it is pathetically sad or absurdly funny to watch my 5-year-old arguing with my 17-year-old. Maybe the kindergartener needs to attend social skills class with the high school senior when school starts back up in three days.

Amy says

// February 27th, 2007 // 2 Comments » // kid quotes, siblings

Mom: “Amy! Why do you keep taking things away from your brother?”
Amy: “Because I want whatever he has.”

Sibling rivalry simplified.

How to become “best big sister ever”

// February 2nd, 2007 // No Comments » // siblings

Give younger sister all of your old Beanie Babies. Instant status booster.