Domestic Psychology

Amy’s letter to Santa for 2012

// November 27th, 2012 // No Comments » // children, holidays

Dear, Santa

For Christmas I would like a Friends Lego House, a Magna Color Dots 3-D thingamabob, art canvases and paints and lots and lots of DUCKTAPE!!!

That is all that I wish for this Christmas. As usual I would like for the rest to be surprises. I would like to ask for my family members too.

For Noah, a new pair of tennis shoes.

For Evan, a Lego Melinian Falcon and a couple pairs of underwear.

For Tommy, a few video games for his computer and LOTS of deodorant.

For Sarah, art canvases and easels.

For Mommy, Doctor Who stuff and funny adult jokes about bad funny things.

For Daddy, finger puppets, computer stuff and cream eggs.

From,
your friend
Amy

The other story

// January 4th, 2012 // No Comments » // children, garden

A few weeks ago, the stump of a tree we had removed became home to a colony of mushrooms. The mushrooms were so large and numerous that an entire race of hookah smoking caterpillars could have been living in our front yard. As tempting as it was to touch the velvet-like tops and the lace-like undersides, I asked the children not to touch the mushrooms.

Then, Doug aerated the yard. The mushrooms were sliced, chopped, grated, and scattered in every direction. It was simultaneously sad and silly. I made a mental note to expect a new crop of mushrooms in the spring.

While cleaning the Christmas explosion, I opened a small metal lunchbox in the 9-y-o’s room and found it filled with the mechanically chopped mushroom bits. I have difficulty embracing my children’s need to collect things that do not belong indoors. I closed the lid on the box and decided to ignore the mushrooms for a day before discussing their future with the 9-y-o.

Several days later, the 9-y-o approached me with the box in her hands and a sour expression on her face. The mushrooms that I had forgotten were now in pools of foul smelling liquid.

“I don’t think I want to collect mushrooms any more.”

I learned something, too. Sometimes, procrastination solves the problem.

Jeep Hair

// July 1st, 2011 // No Comments » // children, flickr

Random kid quotes

// May 8th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes

Me: “What’s in your mouth?”
Evan: “Gum.”
Me: “Where did you get gum?”
Evan: “I scraped it off the street.”
- – - – - – -
Amy: “Are nuns real or pretend?”
- – - – - – -
Me: “Call me when the banquet is finished.”
Noah: “Okay. Bye.”
an hour later
Evan: “Why is Noah’s phone still in the car?”
- – - – - – -
Tommy at 12:40 a.m.: “Happy Mother’s Day!”
Me: “Thank you!”
Tommy: “Can I have $40 for Eve Online?”

I’m not Grandaddy

// April 20th, 2011 // No Comments » // parenting

Evan: “Can we go get Icees?”
Me: “No.”
Evan: “When Grandaddy picks me up from school, HE takes me to get an Icee.”
Me: “I’m not Grandaddy.”

After several days of repeating this exact conversation, the tactic changed.

Me: “Goodnight Evan.”
Evan: “Wait! Don’t turn out the light yet. I need to tell you something.”
Me: “What is it?”
Evan: “I want you to think about Icees. Then, go to sleep and dream about Icees. Then, wake up and think about Icees all day while I’m at school. After you thought about it all night and all day, then pick me up from school and take me to get an Icee.”
Me: “I will think about Icees.”

The next day, we bought Icees on the way home from school. As we left the corner store, Evan had one more thought.

“Grandaddy would have let me get a candy bar, too.”

- – - – -

Amy: “Do you have any change that I can practice counting?”
Me: “No. Do you want to play the coin counting game on the iPad?”
Amy: “What about the penny jar?”
Me: “Okay.”
Amy: “Yay! Grandaddy lets me keep all the coins I count.”

Evanism

// March 14th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes

Me: “It’s starting to sprinkle. Please get the croquet set out of the street, the yard and the neighbor’s yard.”
Evan: “Amy got it out.”
Me: “Amy! Go clean up the croquet set before the rain gets here.”
Amy: “Do I get paid to do it?”
Me: “No.”
Amy: “Ooooookay.”

Five minutes later –
Amy: “Where do I put the croquet set?”
Me: “Put it wherever you found it when you got it out earlier.”
Amy: “I didn’t get it out. Evan got it out.”
Evan: snicker

Amy says:

// July 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // kid quotes, pets

Amy: “Mom! Dharma ate a whole jar of peanut butter. How did she do that?”
Me: “Dharma ate the lid off the peanut butter jar?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left the lid off the jar.”
Me: “Dharma took the jar of peanut butter off the shelf?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left the jar on the floor.”
Me: “Dharma took the peanut butter off the kitchen floor?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left it on the floor in my room.”
Me: “It certainly is a mystery how Dharma was able to eat a jar of peanut butter.”
Amy: “Dharma must be magic.”

all she wants . . . is the impossible

// June 9th, 2010 // 2 Comments » // kid quotes

“Amy? What do you want for your birthday?”
“A clubhouse.”
“Mmkay, but what else?”
“Just a clubhouse.”
“A clubhouse takes a lot of time to build and Daddy is working outside of the house right now. Let’s think of something else you might like for your birthday.”
“It’s okay. Daddy can build it at night.”
“Amy, it’s raining today and tomorrow.”
“Doesn’t Daddy have a raincoat?”
“We can’t build a clubhouse in time for your birthday Amy.”
“You have a whole day before my birthday. That’s LOTS of time.”

Zoo Camp Tales

// June 9th, 2010 // 2 Comments » // animals, kid quotes

Amy: “I got to go INSIDE the turtle habitat today!”
Evan: “Well, I got to go in a lion cage.”
Amy: “Nuh-uh. Nobody goes in the lion cage.”
Evan: “Did too.”
Amy: “If you went in the lion cage, you’d get eaten.”
Evan: “I went in the NICE lion’s cage.”

humidity chronicles – part two

// May 21st, 2010 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, preschoolers, travel

When Amy is sick, she is pitifully sad. Her eyes get round like a Keane painting and they are filled with a sea of tears that quietly roll down her pale, white cheeks. Except for the occasional whimper, she is silent. Amy was in sick mode the entire ride home from Natchez Trace.

On the contrary, Evan was completely annoyed to spend five plus hours in the car for the second day in a row. Apparently, he planned to spend several days wreaking havoc in the hotel with his cousins. He had running, shouting, climbing and general silliness to do. He was in no mood to be harnessed in the car. After we had run out of ways to entertain him and he had run out of excuses and schemes to get out of the car, he took things into his own capable hands. “I’m getting out of this seat.”

Before I could spin my head to respond to his announcement, he was completely out of his seat belts. I scrambled to get myself unbuckled so that I could awkwardly climb in the back and capture the escapee while Doug pulled the car to an abrupt stop. So abrupt that Evan smacked the back of the driver’s seat and flopped to the floor. As Evan sat up with an annoyed scowl, Amy’s tiny voice broke the stunned silence. “Shoulda stayed in your seat like you’re supposed to.”