late night tv commercials

First commercial: Pause tv and run to the bathroom. Return from bathroom and fast forward the entire first block of commercials. Second commercial: Attempt to forward and audibly groan when you realize that you are viewing live. Complain instead of paying attention. Third commercial: Raise one eyebrow and allow your inner cyberchondriac to question if […]

Dear advertisers,

Please stop anthropomorphizing food. It does not make food more appealing. You have single-handedly taken all the fun out of many foods that were delicious BEFORE your genius advertising campaign. If you want people to eat your food: 1. Don’t give food a face. 2. Don’t give food a voice. 3. Don’t give food a […]

evil car commercials

Sarah was sitting at the table painting. She was crabby that she’d been kicked out of her room so that Amy could sleep. Suddenly, she perked up. “I love this song.” She walked in the living room to see why one of her songs was on the television. Her jaw dropped to the floor and […]

Why I don’t choose the music for carpool

My iPod was plugged in the car radio when the girls got in the car. Sarah: “Why are we listening to a car commercial?” Me: “This was a song before it was a commercial.” Sarah: “Well, it’s just a commercial now.” Me: “Fine. Skip to the next song.” Sarah clicked the arrow so that the […]