Tawdry quirk curators
// April 9th, 2012 // No Comments » // humor, kid quotes
Evan: “I love you so much I had to write your name.”
Me: “Thank you. I love you, too. Can I see your writing?”
Evan: “Sure. It’s in the bathroom. I wrote it on the counter, but I used your toothpaste cause you don’t like it when I waste mine.”
// April 3rd, 2012 // No Comments » // humor, kid quotes
Me: “We will leave as soon as I go potty.”
Evan: “Okay, but only go pee. Poop takes too long.”
// January 6th, 2012 // 2 Comments » // kid quotes, parenting
“When I grow up, I’m gonna be a cool dude rapper with lots of girls liking me.”
Since he was a toddler, the child who is so pale he gets a sunburn while fully clothed has pointed at male teens and twenty-somethings with dark skin and loudly declared them to be cool dudes. I never corrected him. Teenagers and young adults ARE cool.
I don’t know when he decided he is going to BE black. I do know that my efforts to explain to him that skin color isn’t a choice were met with complete disbelief.
I think my children conspire to come up with ways to perplex me.
// August 16th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes
“If I go to your bed now, I won’t have to walk downstairs in the middle of the night to crawl between you and daddy.”
// August 8th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes
“Please blow your nose Evan.”
“I don’t have any boogers. I only have webs.”
“Blow out the webs before a spider crawls in your nose.”
“I want spiders in my nose! Then, I can shoot webs at people. Pew-pew-pew!”
// August 7th, 2011 // No Comments » // food, kid quotes
“Evan! What are you doing?”
“Spitting out my watermelon seeds.”
“Why are you spitting them on the living room floor?”
“Dad told me not to swallow them.”
// June 10th, 2011 // No Comments » // parenting
Amy: “Mom! Evan’s on the trampoline.”
Me: “Okay.”
Amy: “He’s *naked.”
Every window in the house is like a television whose channel can’t be changed, so I went to the trampoline channel/window. Tiny clothing was scattered on the ground in a pattern that could only be caused by tossing the clothing off of the trampoline. On the trampoline, a 6-y-o with a grin that was impossibly big, jumped on the trampoline. His feet touched the trampoline surface for a moment, then his body seemed to float weightlessly in the air before landing and taking off again. The child who prefers to be naked and loves to bounce on the trampoline discovered that the combination of two good sensory experiences combine to create bliss. At the very moment I realized how watching Evan’s joy made me feel calm and happy, his sister reached the trampoline. “Mom said you hafta put your pants on or come inside.”
I hate being the mean mom who makes children wear pants, bathe regularly and have bedtimes in the summer. No. I like clean, well-rested children. I love my little nudist.
*She pronounces it nekkid.
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