Posts Tagged ‘life’

just another Saturday

// December 9th, 2012 // No Comments » // life, people

The weekends are the only time that I can get out of the house, but Saturday mornings all the children are home so, Saturday mornings are spent at home, surrounded by family. Late Saturday afternoons, we head out for adventures. This adventure began in one of my favorite places, Hippie Holler. Although serious decluttering will begin January 2013, I’ve already sorted several decades of leftover school project supplies into boxes and buckets for friends. The bucket with yarn and fabric needed to be delivered to Hippie Holler. There, the remains of the yarn that we wasted gluing to shoeboxes and posterboard would be transformed into useful things, like blankets. Although the best thing about Hippie Holler is the beautiful people that live there, the second best thing is their upcycling lifestyle. I wish that I could spend an entire day documenting the whimsically enchanting community. I never get more than a dozen pictures clicked before creating a ripple in their calm. “What agency do you work for?”

upcycle castlewhimsical

I hate the constant harassment that codes gives people who transform things headed for the landfill into homes and a community. People like Rollo, Michael Reynolds and Dan Phillips can’t afford the SuperPac it would take to rewrite the codes and rules for homes made largely from reclaimed supplies. That must change.

recycle center

The next few stops went from the weekly restocking of laundry and dish soap, to purchasing the first Christmas gift of the season. Christmas is the source of much stress and anxiety right now and it’s compounded by a headache and sore throat that have been slowing me down for the past two days. Doug decided that food would make me feel better, so we went to our favorite date night spot for half price sushi. Unfortunately for us, our spot was completely booked for a private party. Doug turned down my suggestion that we skip our weekly restaurant treat and announced that I would be trying a new restaurant.

We attributed being seated in the lounge instead of the main area to our casual clothing. The lounge area music was slightly too loud and a toddler in the room squealed and yelled a steady stream of happy noises. The waiter was practically bouncing off the walls with perkiness. As the food arrived, we heard a commotion in the main area of the restaurant. I could see a line of employees moving toward one location and wrote the noise off as some bizarre variation on the birthday song. I took a few bites and the commotion got louder. Even with the screeching toddler and the loud music, it was clear that someone was definitely screaming. As Doug and I turned toward the source of the activity, a waitress ran to the bar and shakily asked, “Does anyone know CPR?” Doug looked at me and I said, “GO!”

I didn’t even know the name of the restaurant. I walked to where Doug was standing over the two men working on the fallen man. A crowd of people stood beyond that ring. Like orbits of participation, the people shouting “save him” were outside the ring of people shouting numbers, who were outside the ring of people consisting of Doug and the other hands on helpers. It was a solar system of helplessness.

Maybe we should keep a pile of sheets in the corner of every room so that people without the skills to help, can tear strips, like hysterical bystanders in a movie birthing scene.

Three employees dragged the fallen man’s screaming female companion outside. The employees were crying silently. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized the employees were all barely in their twenties. Their enthusiastic restaurant skills were useless in this scenario. In my mind, only an AED could bring this man back. I know the odds without one. I stepped outside and looked around. The dark unoccupied bank across the street had an AED. I was certain of it. The only other place that might was the nearby Krispy Kreme. Before I could even ponder the time it would take to run there, I heard a laugh. A large group seated in the lounge area was oblivious to the human tragedy occurring a few feet from where they ate and told funny stories. In the far distance, I heard a siren.

I ran inside the room and began shoving tables and chairs out of the area around the still, silent man as I heard Doug yelling, “Don’t stop!” Everyone in the room was frozen, listening to the siren getting louder and silently begging the emergency workers to move faster. The room seemed to sway and an unwanted song played in my head as the three men trying to help shouted and worked rhythmically together, as if they were the engine on a sinking ship. The first paramedic walked in and gently pushed the head of the man looking up from rescue breaths so that he would resume forcing air. I walked back to my table.

Doug sat down silently and we stared at our plates. The toddler was still shouting. The clueless party continued laughing. We paid our check and left. Everyone in the main room quietly left with us. The ambulance remained. The paramedics quietly and slowly went through their required duties. The lack of urgency was sobering.

My headache cranked to eleven instantly. Unlike the migraines that I have had my entire life, this time it felt as though my eyes were going to pop like balloons. I got in bed, put a pillow over my head and fought against the scene that kept replaying in my head. I was in the bed for twelve hours, but I barely slept. Today feels dull and thick. We aren’t talking about the Christmas shopping that we were supposed to get done this weekend. We are just breathing in and breathing out.

Because we can.

stir crazy conversations

// November 29th, 2012 // No Comments » // marriage

“Stop breathing in my face. I’ll suffocate from the used up air.”
“Would you like me to sleep on the couch so that you can breathe unused air?”
“We don’t have a couch. We have a love seat. We should fix that for when you won’t quit breathing in my face.”
“Or when you are acting crazy.”

ripping off scabs

// September 11th, 2012 // No Comments » // life, people

I’m not going to tell the story of where I was or what I was doing eleven years ago. I’ve told the story enough. It doesn’t matter to anyone but me what I was doing. Stop asking. If you need stories, re-read the stories from the people who lost loved ones, from the people who stood in the clouds of concrete, from the people who walked into the burning buildings and the people who walked miles to get home while their loved ones waited and hoped. Those stories are written in tears. If someone wants to re-tell their story, they will do so without you asking.

It is impossible to forget what happened eleven years ago. The emotions are always just beneath the surface and every image from that day makes the tears fall again. Every single ‘never forget’ on fb, Twitter and Tumblr makes me want to stand in my yard and scream, “I want to forget those feelings. I want this to be something taught in history class and not the one memory that never, ever goes away.” But, I don’t.

Everyone has their own way of living with the grief of 9/11. Watch the videos. Change your avatar. Post ‘Never forget’ on every social media site. Do whatever helps you live with the horror. I draw the line at the people and professional media who spent today attacking others for not expressing their pain, for expressing their pain without using specific words, for daring to suggest that the day be remembered in a way other than someone else’s way or for posting pictures of fluffy kitties all day. Everyone hurts. Talk to the people who want to talk and leave others alone.

I wish today was a day to celebrate fire fighters and police officers. I love the schools, churches and businesses that have made today a day to volunteer in their communities.

I can’t change the past. I don’t want to relive it one day a year. I want America to do what it does best. Be resilient.

Bumpy Day

// April 26th, 2012 // No Comments » // animals, children

Hump Day. Wednesdays are the middle of the work/school week. It’s the day that sends us sliding down the hill toward the weekend. Wednesday is a metaphorical bump in the road. Sometimes, Wednesday is less of a playground equipment ladder to climb and more of an obstacle course.

It began with a ringing phone, except that it was a melody instead of a ring, but everyone already knows that part of the story. The caller ID on the phone shined brightly. “Nurse Mary”

Sweet, wonderful Nurse Mary spoke in her soothing voice as she explained the thirty minute nosebleed, broken glasses, and kickball incident. It was clear that there was no immediate danger, but a need for a precautious checkup and an afternoon of cartoons on the couch. Instead of scooping up the injured 9-y-o, I asked if TCAPs were finished for the day. I hate myself for being prepared to force a child in need of snuggles to sit with a scan sheet for another hour, but that is where we are with standardized testing right now. Pass TCAPs or fail a grade is a reality.

Luckily, the TCAP testing was completed for the day and an unusually quick visit to the pede eliminated any worries about Voldemort nose syndrome. The expensive, specialized glasses for “weak eyes” absorbed most of the kick faceball’s impact. Except for a week or so of very odd bruising, Amy is going to be fine.

The cat will not be fine. The cat is no more. She has ceased to be. She has shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

Aspie Caveman was born a cat whisperer. Feral cats purr in his lap. House-cats are magnetically attracted to him. All cats absorb the excess stimulation that make Aspie Caveman’s senses sting and burn. While his affection for animals is not limited to cats, cats are the peak of the Aspie Caveman hierarchy.

Aspie Caveman sat and pet the cat as she breathed her last breath.

Everyone cried.

So, we had a cat funeral. There was brush to clear and dirt to dig. Tired and dirty, we stood in the rain and created closure. A kazoo hummed taps and we stared at the cardboard box in the hole.

Doug: “Evan, do you want to say something?”
Evan: “Yes. She’s gonna come back as a zombie cat.”

Dear Dad,

// September 10th, 2011 // 3 Comments » // people

Now that we know your parents are alive, it’s time for you to stop using “this could be the last time” to control everyone’s schedules. Since it is possible that any activity is ANYONE’S last time, everyone could use that expression. If it’s true for everyone, it is redundant to say what is always true.

You will get more mileage asking me if I’m spending my day as I would want my last day spent. There needs to be a lot less somber lasts and a little more living in the moment. Please stop planning for death and get back to living life. Since I do need to at least try and get my garage cleaned out before I die, sometimes I’m going to have to say no to you.

Just remember, I love you.

Practice SAT questions

// April 19th, 2011 // No Comments » // me

1. If a bottle of 100 Tylenol caplets has one broken caplet, what are the odds that you will get one half of the broken caplet every single time you try to get two whole caplets?

2. If patting a hand rhythmically against anything results in a very large dog crawling in your lap for attention, how many times will the driver of a car mistakenly air drum on the steering wheel with the dogs in the car?

3. How many times will a carpenter bee slam into a window before it moves to a more porous surface?

Jury Duty

// February 28th, 2011 // No Comments » // me, parenting

Last week, I got summoned for Jury Duty. I spend most of Monday – Friday in the car or in a school, but I got chosen for Jury Duty. There are a bajillion people who don’t have lives that are completely focused on their five children, but they chose me for Jury Duty. Because every lawyer wants a news junkie, hyper-tweeting blogger on their client’s jury, I have been chosen to sit in the hall, get interviewed and get turned down, all day, every day, for two weeks.

The instructions letter with my summons included an e-mail address to contact if I am not able to “fulfill my duties.” While sitting in the elementary school carpool line last week, I sent an e-mail asking if my date to serve could be rescheduled for summer break when I can get a babysitter and the children don’t require constant mom taxi service. I got no answer. Now, I have to make a choice.

One option is to bring all of the children to the courthouse early Friday morning so that they will neither be stranded at their different schools nor unwatched. I think this will displease the court officials.

Another option is to just pretend that I will be finished at the courthouse in time to be in the Kindergarten carpool line before 1 pm. That couldn’t possibly go wrong and I would certainly make the 3 pm bus stop pickup and the 3:30 pickup at the high school. If I’m not there on time, I’m sure the teachers will happily watch my children, fix them snacks, supervise their homework and make sure they get to after school practices and activities.

My third option is, umm, well . . . I don’t have another option. Either option is going to end poooorly.

Update: I found a real person to talk to and I am officially . . . excused from serving. That loud noise you just heard was my sigh of relief.

December 31, 2010

// December 31st, 2010 // 1 Comment » // holidays, life

It’s time to end my self imposed holiday hiatus from blogging and end the chapter that is 2010. How do I wrap up an entire year and file it with other memories?

I witnessed several actual and metaphorical trainwrecks this year. Some were slow motion nightmares and others came from nowhere. Mistakes were made and lessons were learned. It will happen again and again.

In all my years of coalitions and committees, this year was the first time I experienced someone working AGAINST the group’s goals by colluding with a troll to make threats against others. I felt naive for allowing it to happen, but I don’t want to let it change my desire to trust, believe and hope.

I spent a lot of this year with family members in hospitals. It’s always a slap in the face that forces you to reconsider what is important. There’s also a kick in the pants to recognize what isn’t important.

This is the first year I can remember when families grew smaller faster than they grew larger. Marriages, births and adoptions were outnumbered by people lost to sickness, sadness and injury. There have been times when the air was so heavy with the suffering of those around me that I felt we might all suffocate. We didn’t.

I have read over and over again today of people kicking 2010 to the curb. “Good riddance.” “Won’t miss you.” “2011 will be better.” I can’t do that. The good, bad and ugly of 2010 is a part of me now. It gave me unwanted wrinkles, scars and weight. It also gave me clarity, strength and calm. I laughed out loud more this year than last year. I memorized moments. I sat still. I listened better. I lived more. I made memories. Thank you 2010.

- – - – - – -

Cross posted 2010 Summary Tweets:
Education – Raising standardized scores by practice testing instead of teaching independent thought and creativity.
Politics – If I point out your racist comments, you call me a liberal.
Old media – We can steal from you, but you can’t steal from us.
Social Media – The year everyone declared themselves gurus while confusing fb with twitter.

my car is magic

// September 22nd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // life, travel

I drive children all over town. This school, that school, scouts, meetings and activities are the dots that I connect day after day. With all that driving, you would think that the gas station is a regular stop on my routes, but it isn’t. My car is magic. It never needs gasoline. Every few days, the gas tank in my car is magically full again. I think it happens at night. I guess the car could be autogenic and generating its’ own fuel. It’s possible that there is another explanation for my bottomless gas tank. Maybe the shoemaker’s elves have branched out into fuel delivery. Perhaps unicorns, leprechauns or mogwai are responsible for keeping my car’s fuel tank full. Regardless of how it happens, the magic never fails to make my day a little easier. Thank you magic car.

laundry quickies

// July 27th, 2010 // No Comments » // Family, life

Two things to move me toward my unintentional evolution into a laundry blogger:

First, I would like my spouse and children to be admitted into the Justice League based on their ability to dematerialize and materialize at will. Evidence of this power is the daily pile of “Night of the Comet” clothing with no evidence of deliberate removal. Socks and undergarments are in the exact location inside the exterior garments that they were when on their bodies. There is no scrunching or rolling, just a neat pile that could only have occurred by the wearer dematerializing. I guess they could be transmutating, but I think that would leave evidence behind, so I’m sticking with the original super power estimation. Just have Superman contact me and we’ll work out details about their admission.

Second, there are now three adult sized males in this house. I have no trouble telling the individuals apart, but their clothing is becoming increasingly indistinguishable. Do you know what makes males act like pre-adolescent girls? Putting the wrong person’s clothing in their closet. “This isn’t mine! Why couldn’t you tell whose it is? Eww, gross. I can’t wear someone else’s socks/pajamas/shirts.” Comparing them to pre-adolescent girls was a bad example, because girls have no problem swapping/sharing clothing. Apparently males consider the possibility of wearing someone else’s clothing an insult. Maybe they’re just worried that their clothing went to another person. I don’t know. I don’t understand either. In my next life, we will have one clothing closet and everything will be sorted by size instead of person. It will make things much easier.

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