useless behavior patterns

I make stickers of cartoon panels and stick them in my planner. When I had an office, comic strips covered the bulletin board. In college, I glued comic strips into my textbooks. In high school, I thumbtacked cartoons to my walls. In middle school, I kept a favorite strip in my pocket. In elementary school, […]

timing is everything

Me: “I’m going out to run errands. Need anything?” Family: “Nope.” I text home two hours later. “Heading home unless anyone needs something.” Text from child: “Nobody needs anything.” I come home, unload groceries and sit down to remove my shoes and read email. An hour later, I remove my bra and spend half an […]

How to identify me

Let’s say you’re at one of Knox County’s many public *schools, the big red bullseye store, a grocery store or a coffee shop and you think you see that person who is everywhere on the Internet, but aren’t sure since she’s too old to use her face as her avatar. Here are clues to look […]

Asterisks ‘r us

* ring-ring ** “Yes?” *** “I’m on the driveway. Get out here. Hurry.” **** “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” “Can’t you hear it?” “Hear what? Is it the raccoons?” “Shhh. Listen. The frogs have returned.” *My phone doesn’t ring, but for a little while at least, it’s a universally understood code for a phone that […]

Falling Apart

I have a trick knee. Sometimes, without warning, it just stops doing what I want it to do, as though a loose wire inside has disconnected the power. As quickly as it stops working, it starts back up again. Most of the time, the power returns in time to correct and instead of a fall, […]

A day alone in New York

I sat on a bench in the park. The cool breeze gently fanned the sweet smell of peanuts roasting nearby. To my right, a woman who looked too frail to stand tenderly stroked peaceful chords from a large, gold harp. My left side was being serenaded by A Capella street performers whose deep voices were […]


No cape, but my super powers include: Camouflage Spectrum vision Identifying post-CABG patients Choosing the shopping cart that should be retired Obscure song lyric memory Embarrassing my teenagers Breaking my toes on anything and everything It’s a short list. Very short.

keeping the ego in check

“Dad, I really can’t chat about bathtub drains right now.” “What’s so important that you won’t stop and talk to me?” “I’m on someone else’s clock. Can we do this later?” “Whose clock? What are you doing?” “I’m just cleaning up some messy code.” “I thought you just posted in chat rooms all day. When […]

What we were thinking

Me: The children need the bathroom. We don’t have time to argue with TSA. Doug: I read about backscatter and I don’t want the children doing it. I sent Cathy that link but she never reads the links I send her. I should send it again. T never sent me that document I said I […]