Domestic Psychology

The Redbox Loophole

// July 7th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Doug, marriage, me, movies

Everything about Scientology bothers me, but nothing is quite as irritating as Tom Cruise. He and his cult are so annoying that I refuse to spend money to see any of his movies. Doug considers any movie involving helicopters, submarines or airplanes, a must-see movie. Helicopters, submarines or airplanes are featured prominently in most Tom Cruise movies. Because of my aversion to funding Mr. Cruise, Doug ends up waiting for the movies to make it to television. Yesterday, Doug found a loophole in my “no money for Scientology” rule. “If I use the free Redbox rental code for Valkyrie, I won’t be spending any money on a Tom Cruise movie.” I couldn’t argue with his logic. Now, Doug’s in the basement watching Valkyrie while I get all the children jammied and in bed. I think I figured out the problem with Doug’s plan. By stubbornly refusing to watch the movie, I have deprived myself of two hours of good snuggling with Doug. I may have to re-think my whole boycotting plan.

Doug says:

// June 14th, 2009 // No Comments » // movies, music

Doug: “What are you watching?”
Me: “Fame.”
Doug: “I guess this was our generation’s High School Musical.”
Me: “Are you seriously comparing Sir Alan Parker‘s work to a sugar cube dipped in fake chocolate?”

Let’s compare. Is this the same style, maturity or quality as this?

Go see Up

// June 11th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // movies

Remember last year, when we started seeing trailers for Up and it looked like a cute children’s cartoon? Those trailers were right and they were wrong. Unlike other Pixar cartoons that are made for children with a nod to the adults who accompany them, Up is a film for adults that is safe for children. Actually, sensitive children might finds parts of the movie too sad or scary. Sensitive adults will definitely want to bring tissues. The beginning of the movie rips your heart out and gives it a firm squeeze. The rest of the movie puts your heart back, gives it a shock to get it going again and condenses a year of psychotherapy into 60 minutes of cartoon. My parents are currently cleaning, organizing and getting rid of all their mementos so that they can die. Convincing them to see Up just moved to the top of my list of chores. If you haven’t seen Up yet, add it to your list.

good movie marketing

// May 14th, 2009 // No Comments » // kid quotes, movies

Q – What is cuter than a tiny 6-y-o saying and pantomiming “Boom. Boom. Fire power?”
A – Her 3-y-o brother with a lisp saying it.

Star Trek

// May 7th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // movies

My babysitters don’t clean, so I can’t give the movie a lengthy review right now. I think Mr. Abrams’ version is a beautiful starting point for a series of Star Trek movies. It is respectful of history and knows exactly how far to push the audience’s memory buttons. The characters are easily recognizable, but created in such a way that they instantly have a 3-dimensional quality that the original characters developed slowly. Any worries that some of the actors’ trademark roles might be a distraction were unfounded. If anything, the new Star Trek is TOO much of an homage. I don’t know if new audiences will enjoy it the way I and everyone else in tonight’s audience enjoyed it. I don’t think they’ll get shivers the first time the camera pans the Enterprise or feel a lump in their throat when a very familiar voice begins to say, “Space… the final frontier.” I hope they do though.

Dear MPAA,

// May 5th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // me, movies

I don’t need to know the rating of a movie to decide who in the family can see it. I can tell from a movie preview if it is appropriate for my children. I don’t need to know what Marley & Me is rated to know that it will make my sensitive children cry. The preview for Coraline made it very clear that the movie was too scary for small children. The current ratings system does make my life easier in one way. My children know that if it not G or PG, they won’t even ask to see it. They’ll whine and beg for other things, but they know not to waste their energy asking to see movies with the wrong ratings. So, good job on that. Now, let’s talk about how you are NOT helping me. I need a ratings based on how much the movie is going to make me cry. I think we are the last people in this country to see Slumdog Millionaire. I heard repeatedly that it had a happy ending and that’s a hard thing to find in movies lately, so I sat back and watched Slumdog. I cried the entire movie! Sure, it’s a really well told story and worthy of all the awards that it won, but the things that happened in that movie were tragic. Movies need some sort of hankie rating system. Tears of laughter, like Mamma Mia, don’t require any hankies. Watery eyes, like Sweeney Todd, could be a single hankie movie. One emotional scene, like in Bridge to Terabithia, could be a two hankie movie. Multiple sad scenes or an suffocatingly tragic life for the characters, like Slumdog Miilionaire, would be a three hankie movie. Movies that end with tears still rolling down your face, bloodshot eyes and post-movie bouts of weepiness, like Schindler’s List, need to have four hankie warnings in blinking words and symbols. For the sanity of our significant others and children, please warn us ahead of time. I need to know how many tissues to have within reach and proper hydration nearby.

Thanks!
Cathy

Ten Favorite Movie Characters

// April 20th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // me, miscellaneous, movies

The only thing worse than memes are the Facebook quizzes, but there are some people who I won’t say no to, so, at Joe Powell‘s request, in no particular order, here are ten brilliant movie characters.
1. “Paint Your Wagon‘s” Elizabeth – A woman who finds happiness when she makes her own choices, but ultimately compromises because of what others think.
2. “Fandango’s” Truman Sparks – As one-dimensional stoner characters go, Truman is the least likely character to actually be relevant to the film’s plot.
3. “Pleasantville‘s” Betty Parker – Without ever changing who she is, Betty goes from being alive to truly living.
4. “Drowning Mona’s” Chief Rash – The closest thing to sane in this town is the sexually ambivalent sheriff.
5. “The 40-year-old Virgin‘s” Andy Setzer – It’s Steve Carell. He just smiles and he’s charming, but this is a great twist on what your friends always told you after you got dumped by a jerk.
6. “Dogma’s” Loki – He’s not a psychopath, he’s just the Angel of Death.
7. “Royal Tenenbaum” – The patriarch who is also the movie’s title is a horribly selfish human being who accidentally heals all the broken souls around him.
8. “Heathers‘” JD – The sociopathic counterpart to Loki’s psychopath.
9. “My Favorite Year‘s” Alan Swan – The impulsive alcoholic who can make any woman melt just feels like Peter O’Toole playing himself, but it is wonderful.
10. “I Love You Alice B Toklas‘s” Harold – a very extreme midlife crisis in just one of Peter Sellers many fabulous roles.
Now, my brain hurts for all the wonderful characters who I didn’t include. Please forgive me, forgotten geniuses.

Star Trek geezer

// April 18th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // me, movies

I have mentioned several thousand times that I am more than a teensy bit excited about J.J. Abrams reinterpretation of Star Trek. When the tickets finally went on sale this week, I clicked over to confirm a midnight showing the night before the release. Well, there’s an early release all right. It is at 7 p.m. the night before because apparently, Star Trek fans can’t stay up past 10 p.m. That’s just not right! I went to the midnight release of Watchmen and I stayed awake for the entire thing. I stayed up for a few hours AFTERWARDS too. I have been to more than one Harry Potter midnight movie. Okay, that was with my teenage children, so it probably doesn’t count. Still, this is a little bit insulting. What else are they going to do? Will the local cafeteria be providing Star Trek audiences creamed corn and jello instead of popcorn and M&M’s? How about an intermission halfway thru the movie? Two hours is a long time to go without a potty break. Mr. Abrams, I am the same age as you. Could you at least pretend that we are not geezers?

Two things I liked about Watchmen

// March 11th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // movies

Watchmen starts right off with one of the best opening credits ever. It sets the tone and eliminates the need for tons of back story. It’s also brilliantly edited.

The other thing I liked is a particular scene that I’ll just include on a list of equally impressive scenes in other movies. In no particular order, there is an effectively emotional scene in:

• “Watchmen” in the owl ship
• “Risky Business” on the train
• “Catch and Release” in the middle of the night
• Mr & Mrs Smith after the fight

Just in case that made you want to bleach your brain, one thing I didn’t like about Watchmen? Laurie Jupiter

quickie movie reviews

// December 28th, 2008 // 4 Comments » // movies

Bender’s Game is the very best of the Futurama movies. It’s an homage to Dungeons & Dragons that manages to skewer the past, present AND future.There’s a three stooges gender joke in the movie that was acted out in my living room just last week. The Yellow Submarine intro is so good you’ll have to watch it twice to catch all the references to past episodes and characters. Don’t rent this one. Buy it.

Horton Hears a Who is cutesy and holds the youngest children’s attention IF they watch it in 30 minute increments. It has several really good lines thrown in for the parents, but there is a tiny sexist subplot that should have been resolved differently. Otherwise, it’s very visually satisfying. A good choice for family movie night that all ages will enjoy.

Lost Boys is an oldie that I inflicted upon my Twilight obsessed teens. The effects are dated and the makeup artist must have been someone’s mother’s Avon lady, but the humor has aged well. Drag this one out of the clearance bin and dust it off for the teens.

Mamma Mia! is a movie made for middle aged audiences. Unlike Across the Universe’s focus on re-interpreting Beatles music for today’s teens, Mama Mia focuses on middle aged characters and disco’s Abba. There’s a beautiful, young couple in the movie, but the trio of mature women who Hollywood would normally only give odd “character” roles are the vibrant soul of this movie. The plot is thin and the acting is campy, but the movie is so much fun that it doesn’t matter. Pierce Brosnan’s crime against singing is forgiven because of the platform shoes and glittering spandex that he wears during the encore number. The only thing in the movie that jarred me from my happy place was the computer illiterate forty-somethings. That’s just not right. Feeling old but not dead? Watch Mamma Mia and sing along.