Posts Tagged ‘teenagers’

Why I don’t choose the music for carpool

// October 1st, 2008 // No Comments » // me, music, teenagers

My iPod was plugged in the car radio when the girls got in the car.
Sarah: “Why are we listening to a car commercial?”
Me: “This was a song before it was a commercial.”
Sarah: “Well, it’s just a commercial now.”
Me: “Fine. Skip to the next song.”
Sarah clicked the arrow so that the random could do its’ thing.
Other teenage girl in car: “Hey! This song is a commercial too.”
I turned the radio to Flight 26 and became invisible.

teenagers are not criminals

// October 1st, 2008 // 3 Comments » // local, people, school, teenagers

I am no longer surprised to see how half an hour of talking to a reporter will play as a single blurb. The only point that my random quote made is that I am AGAINST random searches in schools. Those searches won’t be random. Children of particular religions, races, genders and groups will be harassed with constant searches. All the introspective art students who like to dress in black will be targeted because they look different. Just to give the appearance of randomness, innocent students will be tossed to the search wolves. Just read the commenter who wants the schools to profile children based on their religion and tell me you think this will be fair or reasonable.

I have been inside Brushy Mountain, Taft and Haslam. They will tell you that random searches don’t keep out weapons or drugs. Bad people will find a way to do bad things. Those searches are part of a methodic system designed to break the inmates spirit. My children are not wild horses that need to be saddle broke. I want them to search out the things that they are passionate about. I want them to explore who they are are and where they fit in this world. I want them to believe in their dreams.

Searches without reasonable cause will result in expensive art supplies being confiscated because they might be used for graffiti. They will result in phones and cameras being confiscated because they might be used for cheating. In a system with ROTC officers requiring girls to flash their breasts and special education students being physically injured in “therapeutic” holds, searches only open the door for excessive physical force and inappropriate groping. Will we believe the word of the authority figure or the student who is denied any rights?

In response to a senseless murder in one of our schools, our new Superintendent requested a large number of additional cameras in the schools. Cameras don’t stop crime. At best, they report it after the fact. Many years ago, my oldest son was physically assaulted at KAEC. I asked to see the incident tape. It didn’t exist because they only randomly record and then they tape over those random recordings. A few years later, there was a riot on his school bus. I asked to see the tape. There was no tape because the camera was broken. Last year, our elementary school playground was badly vandalized. There are cameras, but there was no tape.

When a few of the high schools started requiring uniforms this year, I knew that next year it will be all of the schools. I don’t care if the students wear uniforms. They look very cute. I also know that it doesn’t make the school safer. It just offers a false sense of security.

Stop trying to make our schools a prison. My children and all of their friends are not criminals and do not deserve to be treated like criminals. Using fear mongering as an excuse to be treated badly has to stop.

Update: The school board erased the word pat-downs and the measure for random searches passed unanimously. Our school board is a monarchy. They put zero value in parental input.

See also: Threat Assessment in Schools: A Guide to Managing Threatening Situations and to Creating Safe School Climates

Dear Sarah,

// September 29th, 2008 // No Comments » // mail, parenting, teenagers

Dear healthy, able-bodied, teenage daughter,

If you want to go to the mall after school, please put one foot in front of the other and get yourself there instead of waiting until I drive all the way over to the school and asking for a ride to the mall.

Kthxbai.
Mom

Homecoming is just the appetizer to Prom

// September 17th, 2008 // No Comments » // clothing, parenting, teenagers

I picked the trio of female high schoolers up from the high school. They immediately asked if they could go to the mall. As I dropped them off, they announced that they didn’t want to carry their backpacks. I assumed that meant I would be driving around town delivering backpacks later tonight. I got home and the text messages began.
Since homecoming is next week*, can I get my hair cut?”
“Okay. Let me know what time your appointment is and I’ll go back to the mall and pay.”
“Umm, actually, there was no wait, so she’s already started cutting it.”
“What if I had said no?”
“I knew you wouldn’t, since homecoming is next week.”

*Since homecoming is next week is a phrase that precedes every request to go somewhere, do something or buy a **dress/shoes/purse/hair product. Beware of those words.

**dress/shoes/purse – consignment store for $70. I pointed out that she’s going to need a specialty undergarment for the dress she chose. I anticipate she will begin to panic about that item the day before homecoming.

sick mom quiz

// September 4th, 2008 // 6 Comments » // me, parenting, teenagers

If I do the carpool thing in slippers and jammies, will I:
a. have car problems
b. have teachers and/or parents wave me out for a chat
c. cause my 15-y-o embarrassment that results in her seeking a legal change of name, school transfer and minor emancipation
d. all of the above

Breaking Dawn blogging

// August 1st, 2008 // No Comments » // books, teenagers

It’s Friday night and I’m at the bookstore with Sarah for the new Twilight book release party. I have claimed a big, squishy chair on the wall with a view of the wristband table and cash registers. It’s not the best location in the store, but it’s the best chair. I thought about dragging the good chair to a better location and decided the employees would not approve of my redecorating efforts. The store is 98% female and the background noise has a distinct giggle tone. Every few minutes, someone squeals. This crowd may look goth and gloom, but they are happy. In two hours when the book comes out of the back storeroom, the crowd should be punch drunk silly. Most of the parents are huddled in the coffee shop with bored expressions. In two hours, they will probably be asleep in their cars. I might be asleep in my squishy chair.

The building is packed with females, but the drama still takes place in the ladies’ room. “And then he said…” The books were rolled to the front at 11 pm, but crabby employee didn’t want me taking a picture of a blanket draped blob. Silly employee. Don’t you know that you guaranteed I would take that picture? A girl in a purple prom dress was declared best costume and the crowd started massing toward the checkouts. I took the computer to the car at 11:45 and passed three cars with the engines humming while the designated drivers slept. By 12:05, Sarah had her book and we were home by 12:15. I am now regretting the Starbucks purchases I made over the past three hours. I should be able to fall asleep sometime tomorrow. I just hope it’s after the STAR horse show.
Happy Sarah

Four-eyes

// July 21st, 2008 // 4 Comments » // aspergers, parenting, shops

On Sarah’s birthday, she went to get her driving permit and ended up with glasses instead. Her friends immediately told her that she looks like a librarian. She did not take this as a compliment. Librarians seriously need to work on their public image. A few days after her birthday, we took Sarah and some of her friends to the drive-in. Doug parked next to a pickup filled with teenage boys. The glasses came off instantly and didn’t go back on until it was pitch dark outside. Yesterday, her little brother played with the glasses and lost one of the squishy nose pieces. I picked her up during her band camp break today to go get the glasses repaired. She was not wearing the glasses. “But, I’m on the front row this year.” Contacts for Sarah just scooted up several notches on my priority list.

Tommy had some kind of mystery accident that the optometrist guesses was a gas exposure that destroyed the surface of the lenses on his glasses. Chemistry class? Who knows. He has also chewed off one of the rubber earpiece covers, so he really needed new glasses before we recklessly abandon him safely drop him off at college in 3 weeks. The eyeglasses salesperson should have been selling used cars instead of glasses. Every sentence she said to us started with the words, “since his prescription is so strong”. That was the reason he HAD to have the most expensive lenses. That was the reason we HAD to wait two weeks while they order those expensive lenses instead of just using the ones on stock in the store. That was the reason Tommy HAD to have frames that were smaller than he wanted. She also told me that was the reason I HAD to buy him two pairs. I looked her directly in the eyes and explained that since we HAD to have the very expensive frames and the very expensive lenses, I absolutely couldn’t pay for a second pair. She told me I was “making a mistake not getting a second pair” and I punched her in the face. Not really. She did scold me, but I didn’t punch her. As usual, I said nothing. I just wish I had the courage to ask for a different employee next time I am back in the store. With Amy.

Turkey Creek dragway

// June 28th, 2008 // No Comments » // local, parenting, people, shops, teenagers

If Turkey Creek had been designed to be walkable, they would not have the hordes of spoiled, thug wanna-be teenagers take over the property for drag races late at night. I am a Turkey Creek fan. I love to go there and people watch. I have just never understood why it wasn’t designed more intelligently. People should park their cars and walk everywhere in the complex. The people who approved the strip malls on either side of a highway design deserve to have the late night races all over their landscaped retail world.

I want to say kids will be kids. I want to say live and let live. I just can’t. This bothers me as a parent. The idea of unsupervised drag racing makes my mom alarms flash and ring. I don’t deny that my worry is fueled by the presence of two permit holders in our house. The awareness that all of my children’s peers are also permit holders has me dreaming of a large empty parking lot converted into an obstacle course for safe learning. My teens and their friends probably dream of joining in the late night races at Turkey Creek. I am acutely aware that we shun teens and deny them places to interact. I just don’t think that nitrous cars are a good way to socialize and impress. Turkey Creek needs to tear up that drag strip and replace it with a row of small shops and SIDEWALKS.

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