now I talk to myself

I still can’t make it a day without reaching for the phone to send Dad a picture or tell him something. On his coffee at Hardees days, I still time my shower so that I will be dressed before he drops by the house. I still cry every time I catch myself doing those things. […]

faking it

E: “What will we do without him?” Me: “I honestly don’t know sweetie. I think we have to figure it out as we go.”

Sometimes, I write obituaries

William L Collier left this Earth on February 15th, 2016, surrounded by family and friends. Though the exact measure of truth and exaggeration in his stories will never be known, a few things are definitely true. He was falsely accused of dying as an infant, then sold to a loving family. His first job was […]

Homemade Gifts

My siblings and I exchange homemade gifts every Christmas. It is much more fun than trying to shop for the perfect thing with a limited budget. This year, Doug made wind chimes and I made cat toys. Last year we made decorative bottle lights and paired them with a matching unopened bottle of adult beverage. […]

timing is everything

Me: “I’m going out to run errands. Need anything?” Family: “Nope.” I text home two hours later. “Heading home unless anyone needs something.” Text from child: “Nobody needs anything.” I come home, unload groceries and sit down to remove my shoes and read email. An hour later, I remove my bra and spend half an […]

tragicomedy

The older he gets, the more familiar my father becomes with death. Last breaths at hospital bedsides, holding the hand of a neighbor internally hemorrhaging on the curb, waiting with a friend for professionals to remove their spouse from the home and endlessly facing his own mortality is my father’s life. Every time death happens, […]

opening the doors

We met the relatives. It was surprisingly comfortable. It would have been easy to mistake the gathering as a normal family reunion of people who haven’t seen each other in a lengthy period of time, except we were the branch that they didn’t know existed. Oh, they knew that a baby boy had been born. […]

a brand new tree

What do you call an extended family reunion of people who didn’t know each other existed until recently? It’s certainly not a “re”-union. I’m still working on the correct word for the occasion, but it is happening next month. People, pictures, slides, old movies and a mix of happy and anxious feelings are going to […]