things forgotten

After a year in the dorm, ReadingNoah went to church with the Grands. They sent him home to choose a “more appropriate outfit” than his jeans and flannel shirt, but he made it there eventually. When he came home after church, he and the two youngest had raided the church’s Mother’s Day decor to give […]

May I have your autograph?

Starving Artist’s senior yearbook was mailed to Knoxville instead of her apartment in the Bronx. “Want me to mail it to you?” “Nah. I’ll get it at Christmas.” “Can I open it?” “Sure.” “Can I have fun with it?” “Do whatever you want.” I’m not going to look it up on Pinterest, but other than […]

about that Kent State shirt

The people I follow on various social media channels are righteously upset today. They are appalled at a tacky shirt that a large chain store is selling. The shirt has Kent State written on it, but it is printed to look blood splattered. The shirt mocks the tragic death of college students. Nothing about it […]

a visit to the DMV

Last week, I drove StacheMan to the DMV on the edge of town. That particular location is the only option for some of the most popular DMV services, including renewing the permit that StacheMan uses as his photo ID. If the services were available in downtown Knoxville, like they SHOULD be, StacheMan could have used […]

Amazon > Apple

The best part about a naughty kitten eating your laptop cord isn’t the $80 replacement cord. It’s being ignored by the hipster Apple Store employees. I’m sure they see me and mentally decide that I’m there to talk about AOL or my dial-up connection, but I’ve spent thousands of dollars in that store. I know […]

I need a haircut

As my hair grows, I snip at it to delay the need for a haircut. I’ve always done it. It works really well until there’s an unintentional mullet on the back of my head caused by the absence of a third eye. At that point, I run to the place in the mall and make […]

Another Georgia Tann comment

From the comments on this post: “My sister, cousin and I are looking for our fathers birth family. My dad and my uncle are red headed identical twins. We were all told a long web of lies only to find out that they were Georgia Tann babies. All we were told that may be part […]

unpleasant truths

Everyone wants to explain all the reasons they couldn’t do something and nobody wants to listen to someone explaining the obstacles they overcame to get that same thing done.

This is why we can’t have nice things – shopping version

This is tax-free shopping weekend in TN. Tax-free weekend is like a ten percent off coupon. It’s a popular excuse to cram all your back to school purchases into three days. People who think shopping is an athletic competition probably love tax-free weekend. For everyone else, it’s far less fun. Tax-free weekend drivers are horrible. […]

they’re not shucking corn

StacheMan: “Cool costume. What’s the event?” Man in full Link garb, complete with pointy ears and an ocarina: “Busking.” Me: “Do you know what that means?” StacheMan: “I’ve heard the word before, but… no.” Me: “He begs for money. People pay him to take his picture.” StacheMan: “Oh.” Me: “After Dad reads this, he’ll explain […]