Santa’s boo boo

“People outside of New York who have called 911 on Santa is a statistically tiny group. Maybe you should *list it on your college applications.” *She’ll probably go work on an Alaskan fishing boat to avoid my transition from endlessly saying “put it on your application” to “add it to your resume.”

Like an undiscovered species

I like many Doug expressions, bit my current favorite is the one he makes when his teen daughter pivots on her heel and walks away from him. Bewilderment Doug is hilarious.

School mornings

High School Freshman one hour before it’s time to leave: “I don’t want to be late. Let’s leave already.” High School Senior fifteen minutes before first bell: “I have plenty of time. I don’t want to be too early.”