not a camper

The husband loves to camp. The children love to camp. I hate camping. I will shop for camping supplies and gather campfire cooking ingredients. I will pack with ziplocs for waterproofing and gather gear for unexpected weather. I will unpack, scrub and launder the day that campers return. I don’t camp. I don’t need camping […]

you might be old if

“This is my favorite light setting. When I die in my sleep, change the setting to this so I look my best for the coroner.” “Yes, dear.” “Also, wipe the drool off my face before they get here to collect me.” “Whatever you say.” “Are you listening to me?” “Mmhmm. I’ll do that.”

playing with cameras

She: “Don’t step in front of the camera if you are going to run around the house like that.” Ten minutes later, child dancing in underwear has no memory of the camera conversation. She: “Don’t forget the camera.” He: “If I don’t care about open windows, why would I care about our cameras?” I can’t […]

He vs She: Sick days

Day One He: Takes to the bed at the first sign of illness and sleeps for 24 hours. She: Drags herself to the nearest sitting spot. Stares blankly into the distance. Mumbles that this is bs and she doesn’t have time for it. Gets up and drags herself to the next spot that may or […]

The project

He: “I’m turning the water off and draining the old tank now.” She: “Everybody shower. Quickly! We won’t have water for a week. Fill the water bowls. Move it!” I love home repairs and improvements when they are complete enough for the tools to go back in the cabinets. Getting to that stage is somewhat […]

gift wrap

It’s the time of year when I bemoan the schools switching from sales of heavy weight gift wrap for fundraisers to stupid coupon books, coupon magazines, coupon cards and BUY OUR STUFF TO BUY MORE STUFF fundraisers. Since I can’t get wrapping paper delivered by school children, I have to buy a few rolls in […]

pillow talk-ish

He: “That’s two.” She: “He’s a serial killer.” He: “Gotta catch ’em all.” She: “He killed Pikachu!”

today’s excuse

Today was overscheduled, with children’s activities overlapping. I needed to get dressed and get out the door quickly this morning. As I sat down to dry my hair, I ran out of my styling product. Specifically, it got so low that nothing would squirt out the pump dispenser. As I always do with shampoo, dish […]

more verbal than non

“And then we went to Lunsford’s and I played with everything while mom got my trumpet and then I collected more pokeballs cause their gazebo is a stop and then we went to Target and got school supplies and mom bought me gum! Why did you make a face when I said gum, mom? Dad, […]

Nancy Drew Housewife Mysteries

Book One: Socks While using her reasoning powers to track down the partners to missing socks, Nancy encounters a pair of socks that do not belong to anyone in her house. It will take all of Nancy’s skills to find the owner of the UNCLAIMED SOCKS! Coming soon – Book Two: The School Supply List