Talent not included

“If you put the time you spend reading into writing, you could publish a book. Make some money.” “Mmmkay. I’ll go ask the hospital if they’d let me perform a brain surgery. Probably more money there. Might offer to be someone’s lawyer at the court house. That seems to pay well.”

Poors need not apply

‘Do you have any sponsorship or intern opportunities for reduced admission in exchange for volunteer hours?’ ‘No, but there’s a raffle to refund one admission fee.’ ‘Sigh.’ Update: The refund raffle has ended. The new special is a two drinks at a Nashville bar. Even bigger sigh.