My hair started to run out of melanin when I was in high school. All of my hair color now comes from a box. After decades of painting my white hair canvas, I found myself with a batch of color that had gone bad. Instead of being the consistency of good conditioner, the color mix was thin as water. It poured into my eyes and pooled in the sink. Immediately after rubbing my eyes until they were red puffballs, I called the hair color helpline.
In hindsight, I should have showered the liquid off my head before I made that call. I was on hold for almost ten minutes with one hand holding the phone carefully away from my half wet head while the other hand repeatedly blotted a dry washcloth on the drips running down my face. The operator pleasantly took my contact information so that they could send a coupon for a new box of color. Then, she advised that my experience was a normal consequence of hair color being stored at extreme temperatures.
Am I supposed to interview retail chains about their storage facilities? “Could you please tell me if you store your beauty products in saunas or igloos?” I don’t think I can use this new information to prevent a repeat hair color flop. Lucky for me, the operator had one last bit of advice. “Wait 24 hours before you attempt to repair the damage this may cause.” Damage? Is my hair going to turn pink or fall out? I don’t have time for these shenanigans. I’m going to pile more color on there as soon as I shower this muck off myself. If my hair is pink, then I’ll buy blue color and be purple for the holidays.
I won’t buy it from the same store though.