hairdon’t

I cancelled three hair appointments in November just to see Jeffrey Epstein, MD, FACS. The cancellations were due to the husband having meetings, social dates and hot yoga classes that he didn’t tell me about in advance. The appointment given to a child turned out to be so expensive that I didn’t even try to […]

On purpose?

A's friend: "You should change your hair to red." A: "My mom accidentally colored her hair red. < – turns to me – > It's not that bad, though." Me: "I chose this color intentionally." A: "What? On purpose? You… It's… Uh… Nevermind." A's friend: < – temporarily speechless because she's trying not to laugh […]

today’s excuse

Today was overscheduled, with children’s activities overlapping. I needed to get dressed and get out the door quickly this morning. As I sat down to dry my hair, I ran out of my styling product. Specifically, it got so low that nothing would squirt out the pump dispenser. As I always do with shampoo, dish […]

hair color

My hair started to run out of melanin when I was in high school. All of my hair color now comes from a box. After decades of painting my white hair canvas, I found myself with a batch of color that had gone bad. Instead of being the consistency of good conditioner, the color mix […]

I need a haircut

As my hair grows, I snip at it to delay the need for a haircut. I’ve always done it. It works really well until there’s an unintentional mullet on the back of my head caused by the absence of a third eye. At that point, I run to the place in the mall and make […]

hairdon’t

Day one: “I think I will grow out my bangs.” Day five: “My hair feels like it is attacking my eyes, but it will look great in a few days.” Day ten: “It looks like I have Tribbles on my head. I need a hair appointment.” Day fifteen: “Where are my scissors? I’m cutting my […]

asteism (part 2)

Sarah: “It doesn’t matter what YOUR hair looks like.” Tommy: “Your hair grew a lot last week.” Me: “No, I just straightened it. It looks shorter when it’s curly.” Tommy: “You have curly hair?”

asteism

Evan: “You hair funny Mommy.” Amy: “Wow Mommy, you should brush your hair more often. It looks way better than usual.” Noah: “I like it when you do your hair Mom.” Doug: “You should straighten your hair more often.” Thank goodness Sarah and Tommy aren’t home to compliment me.