He: “Would you like a pink fitbit?”
She: “I’m really more of a black girl.”
Archive for marriage
Him: “So, this show is like Antiques Roadshow for geeks?”
Her: “I was expecting nerd conversations about Batman vs Spiderman or capes vs hoods.”
tv show: “If you could live in any comic book universe… ”
Her: “Nerd talk! It’s your people! Maybe they will have an episode about spreadsheet inventories.”
Him: “You’re hilarious.”
“Stop breathing in my face. I’ll suffocate from the used up air.”
“Would you like me to sleep on the couch so that you can breathe unused air?”
“We don’t have a couch. We have a love seat. We should fix that for when you won’t quit breathing in my face.”
“Or when you are acting crazy.”
My father has hearing loss. Some combination of denial, finances and health are preventing him from talking to his Doctor about hearing aids. My mother has stepped in to help my father. She doesn’t tell him what other people are mumbling instead of enunciating. My father insists that his hearing is fine, so she doesn’t interpret others for him. Instead, she interprets my father’s words for all the rest of us.
Him: “I looked for it at Handy City.”
Her: “He means Home Depot.”
He can’t hear her doing this. If he could hear it, she wouldn’t do it.
I know that I’ve seen other couples that do various forms of cooperative communication, but I’ve never actually watched it evolve. She has found a loophole in their relationship. It’s both amusing and heart-warming. Watching this dynamic and seeing where it goes is much easier than nagging about hearing aids. It’s certainly more entertaining.
Goofus wakes up at 11:30 a.m., sees his spouse cleaning the clutter in a child’s room and complains because nothing should ever be thrown in the trash.
Gallant sleeps late on his only day off, gets up to find his spouse cleaning and silently vanishes until he has a salted caramel mocha for his spouse who gets surly when cleaning.