“It’s asking if we want regular commercial breaks or a single four minute ad at the beginning.” “What? When did it start asking this? Why do we have to make decisions that don’t matter?” “It started doing that now. This is a no-brainer. Let’s get the commercial out of the way. It’s a no-lose scenario.” […]

condiment priority

“We have chicken nuggets almost every day at the middle school.” “Sweet! I can’t wait for middle school. Wait. Do you have bbq sauce?” “No. We only have ketchup.” “Am I allowed to bring my own bbq sauce?” “Sure.” “Excellent.” Dear Middle School, Please allow my child to carry a bottle of bbq sauce in […]

my life is booby trapped

The very best time to realize that the children used all the conditioner and refilled the empty bottle with water is when you are still blinking from rinsing shampoo out of your eye. Then, you get to listen to the very limited hot water pointlessly pouring down the shower drain while sit on the bathroom […]

Why are you still wearing your bathrobe?

Well, I told myself I could play on the computer while the breakfast dishes were drying on the counter and the test tubes in the chemistry themed bathroom are empty, so I went to the online shopping place with free shipping to order bath salts to refill the tubes because, the children like playing mad […]

Bumpy Day

Hump Day. Wednesdays are the middle of the work/school week. It’s the day that sends us sliding down the hill toward the weekend. Wednesday is a metaphorical bump in the road. Sometimes, Wednesday is less of a playground equipment ladder to climb and more of an obstacle course. It began with a ringing phone, except […]

for Tommy’s virtual baby book

During one of my twice daily round-trips to Tommy’s school last week, the normal light-speed of the Parkway was interrupted by a car that belonged on back roads with the other people who drive terrible. After cutting me off and causing another car so much fear that they blasted their horn, the very bad driver […]

DC games

There’s a common rule that you can use humor when it’s your life, but not when it’s someone else’s life.  For example, I am allowed to laugh at the absurd moments that Autism creates in our home.  As my family member on the spectrum matures, I relax and appreciate the moments that would have caused […]

like an amateur haunted house

Ka-chunk-a-chunk-a-clank. The disposal makes a distinctive sound when there’s something stuck inside, but the sounds aren’t distinctive enough to identify the obstruction. It could be a harmless sippy cup valve. It could be a sharp bone fragment. It could be a brown recluse. Regardless of what is in there, the only way to retrieve it […]