Domestic Psychology

That’s not my name

// May 11th, 2012 // 1 Comment » // children, kid quotes

The 6-y-o is angry with me because he doesn’t have a nickname.

“Lots of people don’t have nicknames. I don’t have a nickname.”
“Yes you do! Your nickname is Cathy.”
“What do you think my real name is?”
“Mommy.”

Evanism

// April 9th, 2012 // No Comments » // humor, kid quotes

Evan: “I love you so much I had to write your name.”
Me: “Thank you. I love you, too. Can I see your writing?”
Evan: “Sure. It’s in the bathroom. I wrote it on the counter, but I used your toothpaste cause you don’t like it when I waste mine.”

Speaking of quirky

// October 12th, 2011 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes, parenting

“Why is mommy’s phone in the fridge?”
“So Amy can’t find it.”

“No fair! You got to bury the dead bird, so I should get to bury the mole.”

“Why aren’t you wearing underpants?”
“They take too long to put on.”

“What happened to your library book?”
“Somebody ate it.”

“Don’t make me sell you to the gypsies.”
“Yaaay! I love the gypsies.”

“After T and N remove the porch, Amy and Evan can take turns burying whatever corpses the cat was keeping under the porch.”
“Hooray!”

6:30 a.m. Monday – Friday “It’s too early to get up.”
5 a.m. Saturday “What’s for breakfast?”

I certainly am glad that I refused to even take Tylenol when I was pregnant with these guys. It really made a difference.

Not our finest moment

// October 5th, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes, parenting

Me: “What did I just say to you?”
Evan: “Stop running. Blah-blah. Quit throwing stuff. Blah-blah. Sit down.”
Me: “Thank you for listening. Now, sit down.”

Things that make you go, huh?

// August 22nd, 2011 // No Comments » // kid quotes

Amy: “My teacher says that soap gets the germs off your hands, but antibacterial stuff kills them and leaves them there.”
Sarah: “So, if you don’t use soap, you have zombie germs on your hands.”

What should we give dad?

// October 20th, 2010 // No Comments » // Doug, holidays

Evan: “A light saber.”
Amy: “A card and a hug and a kiss.”
Noah: “Ummm…”
Evan: “A pumpkin.”
Sarah: “A robe. A really long robe that he’ll wear all the time.”
Noah: “He probably would like a light saber.”
Evan: “A flower.”
Tommy: “A shower in the downstairs bathroom.”
Sarah: “An organic, vegetarian cake.”

Since Dad picked out his gifts himself this year, I think we’ll just join him at Boo at the Zoo for his birthday. Maybe we’ll stick a candle in a Krispy Kreme donut.

Noah says:

// August 26th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // kid quotes

Me: “Kill the wabbit. Kill the wabbit.”
Noah: “Why are you singing about dead rabbits?”
Me: “I’m just singing Elmer Fudd’s song.”
Noah: “Who’s Elmer Fudd?”

Noah voted

// August 11th, 2010 // No Comments » // kid quotes, politics, teenagers

Until they invent a “family” sized voting machine that all the children can squish together and watch, the children take turns accompanying us to the voting machine. Last week, Noah was my voting buddy.
“Why isn’t it a touch screen?”
“Where’s the keyboard?”
“How old is this machine?”
“What if you don’t like either one?”
“If only one person is running, why do they put them on there?”
“You want ME to push the big button? Is that legal?”

This year, our school system has decided two of the school days will have special themes. One is Constitution Day and the other is Civics Education Day. Either day will be the perfect day to put voting machines in the schools and let all students turn the dial and ask questions. Have a school-wide election about a relevant issue, like selling ice cream during lunch. Let’s raise a generation of of voters.

Evan says:

// July 23rd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // kid quotes

Evan: “Drive over the wheels of the car in front of you so we can go faster.”
Me: “That would cause an accident and we would not go faster.”
Amy: “I saw the mailman have an accident.”
Evan: “The mailman peed in his pants?!?”

Amy says:

// July 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // kid quotes, pets

Amy: “Mom! Dharma ate a whole jar of peanut butter. How did she do that?”
Me: “Dharma ate the lid off the peanut butter jar?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left the lid off the jar.”
Me: “Dharma took the jar of peanut butter off the shelf?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left the jar on the floor.”
Me: “Dharma took the peanut butter off the kitchen floor?”
Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left it on the floor in my room.”
Me: “It certainly is a mystery how Dharma was able to eat a jar of peanut butter.”
Amy: “Dharma must be magic.”