I am feeling much calmer today. I’m not out of my funk and finally willing to walk away from the zoo crew if I see my role as pointless scapegoat. I don’t care that it will be my fault that things went bad. I have so much better things to spend my time doing. This isn’t worth the anxiety, headaches and stomach aches.

Doug is jolly today when I know he has to be one mass of aching muscle. If I even tried doing what he did this weekend I would be in bed crying that i couldn’t move because he hurt too much.

Sarah is back in her “I hate my clothes” mood. She has a closet full of things that she refuses to wear. granted, some of them are way too small but otherss she just won’t wear. I want to just take out everything that doesn’t fit or won’t be worn but she cries “don’t take it away” when I try to do so. Doug and I would both like to empty the closet and start over but that’s not feasable. What frightens us is the fact that she’s not quite eleven. How is she going to act when she’s 14?