Doug doesn’t stay awake to watch Adult Swim with me lately. Last night I didn’t have anyone to chat with so I painted Doug’s thumbnail bright pink. A whole hand would have been too much, but just the thumb was the perfect amount of silly. I don’t know why he didn’t wake up while I did it because I was giggling so hard the whole bed shook. I had completely forgotten about it until he asked me “why” this morning.
Cathy says I “asked why.” I actually was rather polically incorrect. I went up to her and whispered in her ear “honey, I’m turning gay. I painted my finger nails in my sleep.”
The morning was fun too. I discovered my lovely nail at a time that I could not immediately react. I was forced to “respond instead of react.” Let’s just say I had to finish aiming.
I could paint my whole entire husband, and he’d never wake up.
Must be nice to be able to sleep like that.
I think you are approaching what I would call spousal abuse!
Did anyone see that wife swapping show last night. My wife would have knocked the hell out that “by the Bible” father. He of said something was women’s work and she would have knocked his ass out with her cast iron skillet. I am totally serious. She was abused by her father and by two ex-husbands. She take no crap from anyone now. She has a mean punch too.
How abbout “Lost”? That was a really good episode, I thought. I about freaked when I thought Charlie was dead.
In the past I’ve turned his nipples into faces with a marker and stuck candy wrappers in his ears while he sleeps.
Isn’t that a fun thing to do? I painted my son’s toenails bright red one night. His mother was smothering herself to keep from laughing. He didn’t wake up until the next morning. My wife and I were still bed but we could hear him roaming around. Suddenly, we hear, “Hey! What tha…”. We lost it then. He tried to get me back but I’m too light of a sleeper. As soon as he came near me I would pop awake and catch him.
We were rotten parents using our child for amusement purposes. We would give him hot or sour things to eat that would shock the hell out of him. One time, he was about 3 and we were in one of those old Roy Rogers Roast Beef places. JD was in a highchair. We gave him a pickle, he sputtered and then spit it out hitting some old lady. Man, was she irate. Good times, good times.
PS. He doesn’t appear to be too scared from our maltreatment.
So you wore poor Doug out and then painted his thumbnail?!? 😉
Sometimes people are just tired. I mean, really really exhausted.
That was very cool but wouldn’t people be walking around slack-jawed today if they had actually killed Charlie?
Then he’s not doing it right 😉
Well obviously I wasn’t worn out. 😉
Well, I know I was shocked when they found him hanging from the tree. I thought that it would be the usual scenario. You know, they get to him in the nick of time. Instead, they really had me going when the doctor kept beating on Charlie’s chest and nothing was happening. After that pounding, I don’t think Charlie is going to be chasing around any female types for awhile. He should be hunched over with a mashed torso, dontcha’ think?
I put up something I call a “Giving Card” on my blog. I have a link there where you can download it if you are interested.