This article is exactly why I don’t read your (choose one) liberal/conservative newspaper. The author of this article is a hack who must have been paid off by politicians to write such tripe.

Shoving this boondoggle down our throats is a waste of my hard earned tax dollars. (choose one) Republicans/Democrats love spending my money on their pet projects, but if you follow the money, you’ll find out whose pockets got lined to make this happen.

When I (choose one) ran my own business/went to school/served in the military, we knew how to do things right, without pandering to lazy (insert name of unpopular organization, occupation or age group).

Also, (insert rant about completely unrelated personal pet peeve). This country needs (choose one) more/less religion and more (choose one) mothers who have jobs/mothers who stay at home or we are all going to become (choose one) China/Russia/Nazis/Socialists/Muslims.