Santa’s boo boo

“People outside of New York who have called 911 on Santa is a statistically tiny group. Maybe you should *list it on your college applications.” *She’ll probably go work on an Alaskan fishing boat to avoid my transition from endlessly saying “put it on your application” to “add it to your resume.”

Love you too, dear

Doug: “You see this old person here? <- points at me -> She has lived and learned and you need to start listening to her.” Teenager: <- giggling -> “Mom’s looking at you funny, dad.”


Instead of blogging daily in November as I have done for years and years, I skipped the month entirely. Let’s call it, no blog November. I’d like to claim that I did didn’t blog because it was a statement or something, but honestly, November sucked and I didn’t have anything funny or snarky to say. […]

Another evening petting a stranger’s dog

“Do you want to go?”“No.”“You’ll have fun. You’re going.” “I’m a teacher. My partner is a principal.”“I’m a software engineer.”“Same.”“Same.”Everyone connects to a hivemind and simultaneously turn toward me: “What do YOU do?”“I’m just a mom.”<- stunned silence ->“How nice for you.” “That was fun. I don’t know why you didn’t want to go.”

Opinionated creatures

The husband put a motion sensor that makes Star trek noises at the bottom of our staircase. Reactions were mixed. One child picked it up and played with it while mumbling to himself. Another walked back and forth to set it off repeatedly while giggling. One of the children turned it off, hid it and […]

I hate talking about health issues

But I’m going to do it anyway. I once went to the Doctor with one eyelid swollen and painful. He looked at it from his wheelie stool on the other side of the exam room and then gave me a script for topical ointment. When I filled the script, it said in big letters, “Do […]

Creepy Reads

The first ‘sleep with the lights on’ book I read was Firestarter. It was handed to me by my father. “You’re too old for Nancy Drew. Read this.” I loved it and not just because it felt like I’d graduated to the world of adult books. For months after reading it I was glaring at […]