CVICU waiting room

Three quickies: 1. The people in this room aren’t just family and friends. Everyone in this room is a former or future CVICU patient. As someone who is conservatively a good 15 pounds heavier than they should be, I am willing to be annoying by saying that everyone in this room is or will have […]

weapons of extreme annoyance

The next time the government needs to have a chat with people holed up in a compound, maybe they should mist a bit of East TN air over the compound. Sometime in the following 24 hours, everyone inside the compound will begrudgingly put down their weapons and come outside in exchange for the promise of […]

my third boob

Remember when I demonstrated my special sense of coordination at the end of December? I pretty much avoided touching my bruised knees for a week or so and then I completely forgot about them after I burned my face with a flattening iron. A few weeks ago, my left knee felt hot and when I […]

keep them behind a locked gate

After meeting opposition at every proposed site, the plan to create permanent supportive housing for the chronically homeless all over Knox County has ended where so many wanted it to be, Lakeshore. Pessimistic voices argue that this keeps the mentally ill homeless near mental health services. Optimistic voices argue that Lakeshore is lovely and one […]

again with the body fluids

Wednesday, Amy had to visit the dentist for a small filling on one tooth and sealant on a molar. My job during this adventure was to be reassuring and stay out of the way. Amy hopped in the dental chair and they leaned the chair back to work on her mouth. The assistant pulled Amy’s […]

bad patient

4:00 pm – Sarah enters the house, vomits and goes to bed. Her temperature is 101. “I stayed up too late last night. I’ll be fine after a quick nap. I have to go to a football game tomorrow night.” 10:00 pm – After a six hour nap, Sarah’s temperature is 102. “I think I […]

if I don’t do it . . .

I spent Sunday with no voice, a hacking cough, stuffy nose and an assortment of aches and pains. The cough medicine made me feel like I was sleepwalking in a fog, but it didn’t help reduce the coughing. I swallowed Tylenol just before a coughing fit and one of the pills shot back out. I […]

the devil you know

I’m done. I want all my children back home. I’m tired of Noah being quarantined with the other scouts, Amy here with a scout sibling and my other children at the grandparents. A night alone with my husband is fun, but this isn’t fun. This is stressful. This is my heart doing that weird flutter […]

like a slow motion train wreck

Late Thursday night, we got a phone call from *camp that two boys in Noah’s troop were sick and H1N1 was suspected. After a sleepless night, we got another phone call saying that the two sick scouts didn’t have H1N1’s trademark high fever and life returned to our version of normal. Saturday, the phone call […]

BASIC Parenting

10 INPUT “Mom, do you want to see my *poison ivy rash oozing?” 20 OUTPUT “Sound of Mother gagging.” 30 GOTO 10 *I have also been asked: “tooth hanging by a thread?” “bug collection?” “present from the cat that the dog is eating?” “footprints from the dog poo I squished with my shoe?” “bed where […]