Me: “You will look nice in a tie at graduation and every man should own at least one tie.” Tommy: “Why? I’m never going to wear it again.” Me: “What about funerals? You’ll need it for funerals.” Tommy: “I’m not going to any more funerals.” Me: “What about my funeral?” Tommy: “I don’t want to […]
“WHY does Richard Alpert wear so much eye liner?” I think it has something to do with this.
Me: “What would you like for lunch today?” Amy: spelling “I w-a-n-t a p-e-a…” Me: “You want peanut butter and jelly?” Amy: “…n-u-t b-u-t-t-e-r a-n-d…” Me: “Strawberry or grape jelly?” Amy: “…j-e-l-l-y. I w-a-n-t g-r-a…” Me: “You are getting grape jelly.” Amy: “…p-e j-e-l-l-y. C-a-n I h-a-v-e c-h-o…” Me: “I will make chocolate milk. Please […]
Amy: “Mom, I made a grocery list for you.” Me: “Okay. Let’s see what you want. Ice cream sandwiches, push pops, popsicles, kool-aid, bread and cake?” Amy: “No. Bread cake. Like Daddy puts with strawberries.” Me: “Oh. Angel food cake.” Amy: “Yes! Go get it now.” Me: “No. Maybe I’ll go tomorrow. It’s past bedtime. […]
“Mom, guess when Iron Man is in the theater? May 2nd!” “You know what? Iron Man.” “May 2nd. Iron Man.” “Guess where I wanna be May 2nd? Iron Man!” “Don’t forget Iron Man starts May 2nd.” “I don’t want to wait for my birthday to see Iron Man.” “Do we have Iron Man tickets yet?” […]
Tommy: “Granny, how do people make those?” Granny: “I don’t know Tommy. You need to go look that up. I’m not Encyclopedia Britannica.” Tommy: “Mom, why do they call this song Baba O’Riley?” Mom: “I don’t know Tommy. You need to go look that up. I’m not Google.”
Amy: “I don’t want to share a room with you any more.” Sarah: “This is MY bed.” Amy: “No. That’s the dogs’ bed. You can sleep on their old bed. Sarah: “You want me to sleep on the dog bed in the living room?” Amy: “No. I want you to put the dog bed in […]
I have a small hole near the back pocket of my jeans. I wear them anyway. I wandered through the house on my daily dirty laundry hunt and started by removing the jammies that keep hiding under Tommy’s bed. Wearing headphones, Tommy shouted, “your jeans are torn” and poked the hole with that special inaccurate […]
Amy: “Mom! There’s pee in the hallway.” Me: “Who did it*? Your brother or the puppy?” Amy: “I don’t know. Let me sniff it.” * No, I don’t have any idea why I asked this question. It makes just as much sense as her answer.
While reading about Google’s art contest, I asked Sarah to look at some of the old logos. “Oh, I’ve already seen these.” I clicked to the information about the artist page. “I know him. He comes to my art class sometimes.” What? My tongue tied in knots as my brain raced with the concept of […]