what we have here is a failure to communicate

Doug: “Why are you so stressed?” Me: “I have a million things to get done and most of them feel like pulling a rabbit out of a hat.” Doug: “Why don’t you narrow the list down a bit.” Me: “Well, there are three things that absolutely, positively must get done in the next two days.” […]

making Doug cringe

Me: “Since there’s no school Tuesday, I was thinking about getting all the children to help me paint one of the walls.” Doug: His control-freak alarm bells are ringing so loudly that I could hear them. “Umm, maybe they would have more fun spending the day at the school playground. Everyone could wear Obama shirts.” […]

background noise

Me: “Wait a minute. I need to change the music.” Doug: “It will wait.” Me: “No. David Lee Roth is playing and I just can’t allow him in this room right now.” Doug: “What?!?” Me: “David Lee Roth. Yuck. I need different music.” Doug: “Are you thinking about the musician or me?” Me: “You and […]

arachnolectus?

A few nights ago, I sat in bed watching television while Doug slept beside me. A dog sleeping horizontally while another dog slept diagonally over both adults AND the horizontal dog made movement impossible. The stillness of the evening was broken when a giant tarantula appeared on the overcrowded bed. No, it wasn’t a tarantula. […]

taking a sick day

I’m sick. Runny/stuffy nose, sore throat, headache, coughing, tired and aching sick. A few days ago, I sneezed without covering my mouth. It was rude, disgusting and wet. A mist of germs sprayed in every direction. Doug tried to pretend he didn’t notice. His eyes rolled toward his damp arms and I could see his […]

marital aids

Monday is Doug and I’s anniversary. We’ll probably celebrate by giving each other a kiss on the cheek as we pass each other on the staircase. We see each other several times a day when Doug comes up from his dungeon to get a fresh pot of coffee and I walk down to move laundry […]

second chances

On July 4, 1997 I packed three children (then 7, 4, & 1) and a dog into a small car and moved from Atlanta to Knoxville. My now ex-husband moved from Atlanta to Boston because he needed some time for himself. He was “tired of everything always being about the children and decisions being so […]