parade-isms

The husband and children are going to be in a parade this weekend. They’ve been in local parades and parades in much bigger cities. They’ve been in so many parades that they are parade professionals. They know the hurry up and wait rhythm and they know the funny wrist wave. I have been in exactly […]

super chill

Today was wonderful. All the children were home. My mother was here. We talked, ate, talked more and laughed. I felt no anxiety. I rolled with problems. It was perfect, I think that when I decided to buy kratom to control my anxiety and stress levels, I was actually making one of the best decisions. […]

Vroom Vroom

I spend an inordinate amount of time in the car. I drive the children here and there. I retrieve the children from hither and yon. I sit in carpool lines. I drive to and from the grocery and the big, red bullseye store. I spend so much time in the car that I have wished […]

Googlephobic

The oldest child takes routines, rituals and tradition to heart. He never misses a visit to the county fair. This year, we didn’t have the free passes that made the fair slightly less expensive, so I thought he might opt out of going. I was wrong. He needed that fair visit. I dropped him off […]

what to wear

Did I interact with other adults like a normal human being yesterday or did I spend the entire day sitting in carpool lines and shuttling children to/from activities? If mom taxi solitude, then wear yesterday’s outfit again. Of course, if yesterday’s outfit was the only thing that kept my sweat soaked back from sticking to […]

like being haunted

Every time I sit down to blog something, whatever I try writing ends up involving my dead father. I’ve tried ignoring it. I’ve tried composing things solely in my head to see if it releases the memories into a magical void. It’s all still there. Maybe I need to vomit a billion words about it […]

now I talk to myself

I still can’t make it a day without reaching for the phone to send Dad a picture or tell him something. On his coffee at Hardees days, I still time my shower so that I will be dressed before he drops by the house. I still cry every time I catch myself doing those things. […]

hair color

My hair started to run out of melanin when I was in high school. All of my hair color now comes from a box. After decades of painting my white hair canvas, I found myself with a batch of color that had gone bad. Instead of being the consistency of good conditioner, the color mix […]

Ouch

My back hurts. I stepped outside of my house and my back fell apart. Technically, we spent the entire weekend on a friend’s boat. Still, I don’t hurt my back sitting in a chair reading. I only hurt myself when I try to DO anything. I think a few days of not doing is in […]