Amy’s letter to Santa for 2012

Dear, Santa For Christmas I would like a Friends Lego House, a Magna Color Dots 3-D thingamabob, art canvases and paints and lots and lots of DUCKTAPE!!! That is all that I wish for this Christmas. As usual I would like for the rest to be surprises. I would like to ask for my family […]

The other story

A few weeks ago, the stump of a tree we had removed became home to a colony of mushrooms. The mushrooms were so large and numerous that an entire race of hookah smoking caterpillars could have been living in our front yard. As tempting as it was to touch the velvet-like tops and the lace-like […]

Random kid quotes

Me: “What’s in your mouth?” Evan: “Gum.” Me: “Where did you get gum?” Evan: “I scraped it off the street.” – – – – – – – Amy: “Are nuns real or pretend?” – – – – – – – Me: “Call me when the banquet is finished.” Noah: “Okay. Bye.” an hour later Evan: […]

I’m not Grandaddy

Evan: “Can we go get Icees?” Me: “No.” Evan: “When Grandaddy picks me up from school, HE takes me to get an Icee.” Me: “I’m not Grandaddy.” After several days of repeating this exact conversation, the tactic changed. Me: “Goodnight Evan.” Evan: “Wait! Don’t turn out the light yet. I need to tell you something.” […]


Me: “It’s starting to sprinkle. Please get the croquet set out of the street, the yard and the neighbor’s yard.” Evan: “Amy got it out.” Me: “Amy! Go clean up the croquet set before the rain gets here.” Amy: “Do I get paid to do it?” Me: “No.” Amy: “Ooooookay.” Five minutes later – Amy: […]

Amy says:

Amy: “Mom! Dharma ate a whole jar of peanut butter. How did she do that?” Me: “Dharma ate the lid off the peanut butter jar?” Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left the lid off the jar.” Me: “Dharma took the jar of peanut butter off the shelf?” Amy: “Well, I might have accidentally left […]

all she wants . . . is the impossible

“Amy? What do you want for your birthday?” “A clubhouse.” “Mmkay, but what else?” “Just a clubhouse.” “A clubhouse takes a lot of time to build and Daddy is working outside of the house right now. Let’s think of something else you might like for your birthday.” “It’s okay. Daddy can build it at night.” […]

Zoo Camp Tales

Amy: “I got to go INSIDE the turtle habitat today!” Evan: “Well, I got to go in a lion cage.” Amy: “Nuh-uh. Nobody goes in the lion cage.” Evan: “Did too.” Amy: “If you went in the lion cage, you’d get eaten.” Evan: “I went in the NICE lion’s cage.”

humidity chronicles – part two

When Amy is sick, she is pitifully sad. Her eyes get round like a Keane painting and they are filled with a sea of tears that quietly roll down her pale, white cheeks. Except for the occasional whimper, she is silent. Amy was in sick mode the entire ride home from Natchez Trace. On the […]