Sawyer: “Why did he say cooked goose?” Supertween: “It’s an idiom. He’s saying he’s in trouble and doesn’t want to get eaten. Did you know that some people eat geese?” Sawyer: “Oh, I know. I only eat pig. Sometimes I eat cow, but mostly I eat pig.”
Sawyer: “Are you wearing a bra today?” Me: “Why?” Sawyer: “If you don’t wear a bra, your boobies get tangled up in your shirt and that hurts. A bra makes your boobies look smooth instead of bumpy.” Me: “My breasts are bumpy?” Sawyer: “It’s okay Mommy. I’ll snuggle with you anyway.”
The 6-y-o is angry with me because he doesn’t have a nickname. “Lots of people don’t have nicknames. I don’t have a nickname.” “Yes you do! Your nickname is Cathy.” “What do you think my real name is?” “Mommy.”
Evan: “I love you so much I had to write your name.” Me: “Thank you. I love you, too. Can I see your writing?” Evan: “Sure. It’s in the bathroom. I wrote it on the counter, but I used your toothpaste cause you don’t like it when I waste mine.”
“Why is mommy’s phone in the fridge?” “So Amy can’t find it.” “No fair! You got to bury the dead bird, so I should get to bury the mole.” “Why aren’t you wearing underpants?” “They take too long to put on.” “What happened to your library book?” “Somebody ate it.” “Don’t make me sell you […]
Me: “What did I just say to you?” Evan: “Stop running. Blah-blah. Quit throwing stuff. Blah-blah. Sit down.” Me: “Thank you for listening. Now, sit down.”
Amy: “My teacher says that soap gets the germs off your hands, but antibacterial stuff kills them and leaves them there.” Sarah: “So, if you don’t use soap, you have zombie germs on your hands.”
Evan: “A light saber.” Amy: “A card and a hug and a kiss.” Noah: “Ummm…” Evan: “A pumpkin.” Sarah: “A robe. A really long robe that he’ll wear all the time.” Noah: “He probably would like a light saber.” Evan: “A flower.” Tommy: “A shower in the downstairs bathroom.” Sarah: “An organic, vegetarian cake.” Since […]
Me: “Kill the wabbit. Kill the wabbit.” Noah: “Why are you singing about dead rabbits?” Me: “I’m just singing Elmer Fudd’s song.” Noah: “Who’s Elmer Fudd?”
Until they invent a “family” sized voting machine that all the children can squish together and watch, the children take turns accompanying us to the voting machine. Last week, Noah was my voting buddy. “Why isn’t it a touch screen?” “Where’s the keyboard?” “How old is this machine?” “What if you don’t like either one?” […]