I can’t get anyone’s name right today. It doesn’t matter if it’s people or pets. “The grandparents took Noah, I mean, Evan to get a haircut yesterday.” “Get Noah, I mean, Westley off the kitchen table.” I spent the evening thrashing about with a wicked migraine and it still feels like my head is filled […]
Doug – “I need camping shirts, camping socks, *camping this and camping that, no, I won’t need any of my printed t-shirts. I will need a new camera, a new hat, trekking poles, stuff sacks and a portable sink.” Noah – “These Dockers are too small, so I’m packing them for my one pair of […]
Noah: “I talked to the Mayor on Friday and today I met the Superintendent.” Me: “How did you meet the Super?” Noah: “Well, I didn’t know you pull the cord to make the trolley stop, so, I missed my bus stop and got to school late. When I went in the office, the Principal was […]
Me: “How are you doing with your summer reading assignments?” Noah: “I’m really enjoying The Prince.” Me: “In what way?” Noah: “The characters in The Prince are also in Assassin’s Creed. That’s pretty cool.” Me:
girl teen: “Google it.” boy teen: “My teacher says Yahoo is better.” girl teen: “It’s 2011. Use Google.”
Six days after Easter and two days after the storms, I found an Easter egg in the yard. It wasn’t one of the four boiled eggs that were not found. Wild animals probably found those. Wild animals is not a euphemism for my children either. No, I found a small yellow plastic egg with candy […]
Nurse: “What grade will you be in next year?” Noah: “Tenth.” Me: “You’ve only been in school a week. I think she wants to know about THIS year’s grade.” Noah: “She asked about NEXT year.” Noah: “Dad? Mom just texted me asking where we are.” Doug: “So tell her.” Noah: “What do I tell her?” […]
In the moment of stunned silence that I realized Noah outgrew the clothes that fit him a few days ago, I briefly visualized Noah as a large green Hulk in tiny, tattered clothing. I wonder if the misunderstood Hulk would have been so cranky if he hadn’t been stuck wearing Bruce Banner’s pants.
Me: “Tommy, do you want to spend the rest of your life just playing WoW in our basement?” Tommy: “I don’t think you want to know my answer.” Sarah: “I have NOTHING to wear. I HAVE to have new clothes.” Noah: “Umm, yeah, I didn’t tell you, but, I, umm, lost a part of my […]