Feeling the love

Doug: “There’s an air advisory today, so try to keep the dogs inside as much as possible.” Me: “I don’t think it’s that hot outside.” Doug: “It’s not a heat advisory. It’s an air quality advisory. It’s dangerous for people with asthma or health problems. That can’t be good for dogs.” Me: “Or people with […]


“You know why they really do that don’t you?” “Don’t let him turn gay.” “Four way stops are the worst thing EVER invented.” “I think I should start wearing women’s clothes.” “It’s okay if people drink and drive, they just shouldn’t talk on their phones and drive.”

old AND fat

Noah: “It’s older than YOU? Wow! That’s really old.” Doug: “You know that drink you like so much? They make a low calorie version that you really need to try.” I will be sleeping in a tent in the backyard from now on. I hope the wireless is accessible from there.

Overheard at the movies

“I wanna see UP.” “Are we gonna see Transformers?” “Can I go see THAT movie?” “Why would they bother making THAT in 3-D?” – Okay, that was me. “Where’s his guard uniform?” “Can I have a flashlight like that?” “Stop kicking that seat.” – Oops, that was me too. “Who’s HE supposed to be?” “I […]

from a distance

Neighbor: “Your tree looks wonderful.” Me: “But, it’s covered in popsicle stick ornaments.” Neighbor: “We’re looking at it from across the street. All we see is a beautiful tree.” Distance . . . time . . . beauty.